Total Drama All Stars
by KieranDell1409
Summary: Total Drama is back, with all your favourite characters from...well, everywhere. Books, movies, TV shows, anime, comics, you name it.
1. Introducing the characters

The twenty (un)lucky contestants of Total Drama All Stars

**Author's note:** Since I'm pretty sure not many people will be familiar with all the characters I'm using in this FanFic, this chapter is designed to give you a brief overview of them. This isn't part of the story as far as I'm concerned, but I felt I needed to write it for the reader's sake. Okay, here goes.

**ALICE CULLEN**

**Originally From:** Twilight

**Age:** 19 . . . technically.

**Title:** The Vampire

**Bio:** As a child Alice was always good at predicting things. These predictions scared the crap out of people, so she was thrown in a nut house. While there, Alice predicted she was in danger of being killed by a vampire named James. One of the caretakers at the nut house (who was also a vampire) decided to protect her by changing her to a vampire. While she changed, he died protecting her from James, who then lost interest because she was no longer human. When she woke up, she had lost all memory of her human, but her prediction ability turned to an ability to see the future. With this, she was able to meet her life partner Jasper, and her new family the Cullens. She now resides in Forks, Washington, with seven other vampires, a vampire-human hybrid, and a werewolf (it's probably better not to ask too many questions).

**ANNABETH CHASE**

**Originally From: **Percy Jackson and the Olympians

**Age: **16

**Title: **The Demigod

**Bio:** Since an early age, Annabeth knew she was different. Monsters constantly attacked her family, and her step-mother blamed her for it. At the age of seven, she ran away from home, hoping to lure the monsters away from her family. It was while she was on the run that she met Thalia and Luke. The two of them explained that she was a demigod, the child of a human and a god. She travelled with them until they met Grover, a satyr, who took them to Camp Half-Blood (a safe place for demigods). It was here she was claimed by Athena, goddess of wisdom, and over the years Annabeth became one of the most powerful campers ever. When she was twelve, Annabeth met Percy, a child of Poseidon who was prophesised to either save or destroy Olympus. Over the next four years, they went on many, many dangerous quests together.

**ASH KETCHUM**

**Originally From: **Pokémon

**Age: **10

**Title: **The Pokémon Master

**Bio:** At the age of ten, Ash was one of the many children of Pallet Town to receive his first Pokémon from Professor Oak. Unfortunately, he got there late and, instead of receiving a Bulbasaur, Charmander or Squirtle, he got a Pikachu that had not yet been tamed. Pikachu refused to obey Ash at first, and wouldn't go back in its Pokeball, but grew to respect him when he defended him from a flock of wild Spearow. Since then, Ash and Pikachu have had many adventures, travelling to different regions of the world, capturing a wide variety of Pokémon, collecting dozens of gym badges, and defeating Team Rocket over and over and over again in their misguided attempts to steal Pikachu. Despite all this, he has never won at the Pokémon League, though he does well. While Ash stores many of his Pokémon with Professor Oak, Pikachu always stays with him.

**AYANE**

**Originally From: **Dead or Alive

**Age: **16

**Title:** The Ninja

**Bio:** As a child, Ayane was shunned by the Mugen Tenshion Clan of ninjas, being the bastard child of Raiden (an outcast of the village). The village elder Genra took her in, though the village still believed she was some kind of cursed demon child. Her half-sister Kasumi was treated like a princess, because . . . well, she was. However, Kasumi still cared about Ayane and played with her as a child. When Ayane was sixteen, Raiden returned to the village. He was seeking to learn the Torn Sky Blast technique of the village, and defeated many of the village's best fighters easily. Hayate (Kasumi's brother and Ayane's half-brother) used the move on Raiden, but Raiden managed to copy it, and paralysed Hayate. Kasumi set out to find Raiden and kill him, but in doing so broke the clan's code. Ayane was sent to track her down and kill her.

**BART SIMPSON**

**Originally From: **The Simpsons

**Age: **10

**Title:** The Troublemaker

**Bio:** Bart is the only son, and oldest child of Springfield's most dysfunctional family, the Simpsons. He's a delinquent who has gotten himself into hundreds of misadventures. These include attempting to jump Springfield gorge on his skateboard, cutting the head off the town founder's statue, and unleashing a breed of lizards that eat bird eggs. His father Homer has a habit of strangling him, and not even when he's drunk (which is frequently). His mother Marge is frequently nagging people to get her way, because she believes it is for the best. His sister Lisa is always playing "that damn saxophone". His other sister Maggie seems incapable of talking, though she can expertly handle firearms. His grandfather makes up crazy stories that don't do anywhere. Oh, and did I mention that he frequently foils an evil mastermind who used to be the assistant of a clown? Because that's kind of important.

**CARLY SHAY**

**Originally From: **iCarly

**Age: **16

**Title:** The Internet Star

**Bio:** When she was thirteen, Carly took the blame for Sam 'photodocking' one of their teacher's head onto a rhino. As punishment, she had to judge the school's talent competition auditions. She made Sam come with her as well, and got Freddie (her neighbour and friend who's had a crush on her for a while) to film it and have it uploaded to the Internet. Carly and Sam started making jokes about the contestants and their teacher, the footage of which Freddie filmed. Later that night, Carly found out that Freddie accidentally posted Carly and Sam instead of the students auditioning, which managed to get 28,000 views in a very short period of time. The video was removed, but not before their teacher saw it. She refused to use the students Carly selected, so Carly and Sam did a webcast showing these kids talents. This is how Carly's webshow, iCarly, began.

**DRACO MALFOY**

**Originally From: **Harry Potter

**Age: **17

**Title:** The Wizard

**Bio:** Draco is the only child of a prominent pure-blood wizarding family. As such, he feels he is superior to almost everybody else in the world. In his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he meets (and becomes the rival of) Harry Potter, the wizard who defeated Lord Voldemort when he was just an infant. Draco spends much of his time at Hogwarts fighting with Harry, since his family are big supporters of Voldemort. Their many conflicts include the time Draco stole Nevelle's Remembrall and Harry demanded he give it back; when Draco got the Slytherin Quidditch team new broomsticks and became their seeker; and a battle in their sixth year in a bathroom, which ended when Harry cast _Sectumsompre_ (a dangerous spell he didn't know the effect of). Draco was contracted to kill Hogwarts headmaster Albus Dumbledore by Voldemort, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

**FINN THE HUMAN**

**Originally From: **Adventure Time

**Age: **14

**Title:** The Adventurer

**Bio:** Finn is from the Land of Ooo (a kingdom somewhere on Earth in the distant future, sometime after a terrible war), and is one of the last (possibly the last) humans on Earth. He was abandoned as an infant, so he knows nothing of his parents. He was raised alongside his best friend and adoptive brother Jake the Dog. Despite being (possibly) the last of his kind, Finn has a fairly upbeat and happy outlook on life. He enjoys adventuring with Jake around the Land of Ooo and often helps with the defence of the nearby Candy Kingdom. Finn and Jake have even got their own arch nemesis: The Ice King, though mostly he just comes up with ridiculous plots to kidnap princesses. Finn has found several traces of (possible) humans on his travels, though it seems these 'people' have been somehow mutated, though Finn never lets this bother him.

**HARUHI FUJIOKA**

**Originally From: **Ouran High School Host Club

**Age: **15

**Title:** The Crossdresser

**Bio:** Haruhi is a middle class girl going to a rich private school called Ouran Academy. One day, while trying to find a quiet place to study, Haruhi finds what she thought was an abandoned music room. Instead, she finds the Ouran Host Club. After Haruhi accidentally breaks an expensive vase, she is forced to work for the host club to pay them back (the vase being worth ¥8,000,000). From the moment they first saw Haruhi, every member of the host club thought she was a guy. However, one by one they all realise she's a girl. While Haruhi initially resents working for the host club, she warms to it as the weeks roll on (though partly because they bribe her with fancy tuna). The host club's king Tamaki has an obvious crush on Haruhi, but she just thinks he is an idiot (which would not be far off the truth).

**KATNISS EVERDEEN**

**Originally From: **The Hunger Games

**Age: **17

**Title:** The Mockingjay

**Bio:** In a post-apocalyptic world, the ruthless Capital of the nation of Panem holds an annual event: The Hunger Games. This involves taking two children from each of the twelve districts (one boy, one girl, aged between 12 and 18), and forcing them to fight to the death in a massive arena. During the Reaping for the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss's little sister Primrose was selected to compete out of the thousands of other possible girls in District 12. Knowing that her sister wouldn't stand a chance, Katniss volunteered as tribute in her place. This noble act caught the attention of the Capital and the public, but not as much as Peeta (the male tribute from District 12) declaring his love for Katniss right before the Hunger Games began. Katniss defied the capital by threatening to commit suicide with Peeta to end The Hunger Games, angering President Snow, leader of Panem.

**KEVIN MCCALISTER**

**Originally From: **Home Alone

**Age: **10

**Title:** The Trap Setter

**Bio:** After a fight with his brother, Kevin made a wish that his family would disappear. As chance would have it, a blackout reset his alarm clock during the night, not waking him in the morning when his family left for Paris (where they'd be spending Christmas). Kevin believed that his wish had come true and began celebrating, though when two robbers found out he was home alone (pun not intended), Kevin realised it was up to him to protect the house. He managed to set up dozens of traps and contraptions to incapacitate the bandits, and eventually they were arrested. The following year, when he accidentally ended up in New York instead of Miami, he met the robbers again. They thought he wouldn't be able to do anything to them this time since he didn't have a home there, but I guess Kevin killed a few brain cells last time.

**KIM POSSIBLE**

**Originally From: **Kim Possible

**Age: **16

**Title:** The Cheerleader

**Bio:** Kim is the cheerleading daughter of the brain surgeon (mother) and a rocket scientist (father). When trying to come up with a new way to up her allowance, Kim turns to babysitting. She sets up a new website to advertise herself with the slogan "I can do anything". However, when a wealthy business man accidentally turns on the lasers to protect a safe and (trapping himself out of reach of the switch), he accidentally contacts Kim to help (he was actually trying to contact Team Impossible). Despite the dangerousness of the job, and that it was not a babysitting job, Kim takes up the challenge, using her cheerleading skills to reach the switch and turn off the lasers. This started Kim on her crime fighting cheerleader career, together with her best friend Ron Stoppable. The two of them travel across the world fighting many foes including Dr Draken and Shego.

**LIGHT YAGAMI**

**Originally From: **Death Note

**Age: **17

**Title:** The Human Shinigami

**Bio:** When the Shinigami (god of death) Ryuk drops a Death Note (notebook that kills those whose names are written in it) on Earth, who should pick it up but honour student Light Yagami. After discovering the Death Note's powers, Light begins using it to create a better world by killing all violent criminals who have not yet been caught. This soon catches the attention of Interpol, who immediately realise that someone is causing all these deaths. The public notice this too, and dub this mysterious force "Kira", a play on the word "killer". The world's greatest detective, known simply as L, takes up the case, and very quickly draws suspicion to Light. Light's intelligence manages to keep him somewhat under the radar, though L isn't convinced that Light is innocent. The two have a battle of brains, trying to force the other to slip up, drawing suspicion to the other.

**MARTY MCFLY**

**Originally From: **Back To the Future

**Age: **17

**Title:** The Time Traveller

**Bio:** In the year 1985, seventeen year old Marty gets a call from his scientist friend Dr Emmett Brown about a new invention of his. However, he has to see it at some ungodly hour of the morning. This invention turns out to be a time machine, made from a Dolorean that can travel to any point in time programmed into it when it hits 88 miles per hour. Unfortunately, to make this the Doc had to acquire some "hot goods" from some terrorists, who killed him. Marty managed to escape by taking the Dolorean back to 1955, but accidentally prevents the event that caused his parents to meet (his father was meant to be hit by a car, but Marty pushed him out of the way and got hit instead). Realising his mistake, Marty does everything he can to get his parents together before he fades away from existence completely.

**MINDY "HIT-GIRL" MACREADY**

**Originally From: **Kick-Ass

**Age: **11

**Title:** The Child Assassin

**Bio:** Before Mindy was born, gangsters framed Mindy's father (a cop who was taking down their organisation) for several serious crimes. As a result, he was in jail when his wife died giving birth to Mindy. She was raised by one of her father's friends until he was released, at which point Mindy's father swore revenge on the mob. He began training Mindy from an early age to be a tough warrior, and eventually she adopted the alias Hit-Girl, while he took the name Big Daddy. One day, a new superhero (though quite an inept one) appeared, and the two of them tracked him down and offered to help him (the hero in question being Kick-Ass). However, when he contacted them, it he brought Red Mist (someone he thought was his friend) who brought mobsters to attack them. When these mobsters killed Big Daddy, Hit-Girl made Kick-Ass help take them down.

**MURTAGH MORZANSSON**

**Originally From: **Inheritance Cycle

**Age: **19

**Title:** The Dragon Rider

**Bio:** Murtagh was born to Morzan (one of Galbatorix's most powerful dragon riders) and Selena (who was known as the assassin The Black Hand). He grew up in Galbatorix's kingdom, where he was initially going to follow in his father's footsteps. He escaped, and travelled alone until he was nineteen, when he met his half-brother Eragon (not that he knew that at the time). He found Eragon, his dragon Saphira, and his father Brom (though they didn't know that at the time) being attacked by a couple of Ra'zac. Brom died from his wounds. The two travelled to The Varden's headquarters in the Beor Mountains, and defended it when it was attacked by Urgals (though Murtagh wasn't trusted because of his parentage). He was later kidnapped by Urgals and taken to the king, where a dragon's egg hatched for him. Murtagh and his dragon were forced to swear loyalty to him.

**RACHEL BERRY**

**Originally From: **Glee

**Age: **16

**Title:** The Broadway Baby

**Bio:** Rachel is an unpopular girl at McKinley High in Ohio. However, she has an extraordinary musical talent, which is one of the reasons she joins the newly restarted glee club. This does nothing to help her popularity, even when the high school quarterback (Finn . . . not the one in this FanFic) joins the club. Regardless, she sticks with the New Directions, except for a brief time where she was trying to get the lead in the school's production of _Cabaret_. Rachel develops a crush on Finn, though she has a fling with his friend Puck, and the captain of a rival glee club Jesse. Everyone in the glee club said it was a bad idea . . . and they were right, when he betrayed her right before the finals. Though they lose to Jesse's team in the end, but Rachel and Finn end up as a couple.

**SABRIEL**

**Originally From: **The Old Kingdom/Abhorsen trilogy

**Age: **18

**Title:** The Abhorsen

**Bio:** Sabriel's father is the Abhorsen, a man tasked with keeping dead things in death, using a set of bells that can control the minds of any who hear them. When Sabriel's school is visited by a dead monster delivering her his bells and sword, she realises something has gone wrong. She travels to her family's home in the Old Kingdom, pursued by dead creatures. There she finds Mogget, an ancient monster bound to serve the Abhorsen (in the form of a cat). He helps Sabriel escape, though they soon end up in a sinkhole where they find Touchstone, an ancient prince frozen as the figurehead of a boat. Together, they travel to the capital where they find out that Kerrigor, another ancient monster, is rising, and his body is near Sabriel's school. Sabriel and Touchstone manage to get the body and just barely manage to force Kerrigor into deep sleep.

**WALLACE WELLS**

**Originally From: **Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

**Age: **25

**Title:** The "Moral Support"

**Bio:** Wallace is the homosexual roommate of Scott Pilgrim, a friend of his from college. They also share a bed . . . don't ask. Anyway, when Scott starts dating a girl named Ramona Flowers, whose evil ex-boyfriends force the current boyfriend to fight them in order to prove they're worthy of her, Wallace "helps" Scott . . . in that he mainly yelled "encouraging" comments from the sidelines. Wallace occasionally acts as Scott's conscience, like when he forced Scott to break up with Knives (his current girlfriend) if he wanted to keep going out with Ramona. He is also a fairly heavy drinker, with seemingly no time of the day too early for his habit. Nothing fazes Wallace, because he seems to have a sarcastic comeback to every situation. However, he does genuinely care about people . . . he just has a funny way of showing it to them.

**ZIDANE TRIBAL**

**Originally From: **Final Fantasy IX

**Age: **16

**Title:** The Genome

**Bio: **Raised by Baku of the Tantalus Theatre Group, Zidane was raised to be a thief and an actor. One day, the Tantalus Theatre Group got a message from Regent Cid about the queen's recent strange behaviour. Cid was worried about the queen's daughter Garnet, and asked them to kidnap her and bring her safely to Lindblum. Little did they know, the princess was planning to escape from palace anyway. Zidane was more than happy to help her, since Garnet is considered one of the most beautiful women in the world. Despite a few 'mishaps' (like 'accidentally' finding out how soft Garnet's butt is) the two became close friends. Little did either of them know that Zidane was actually a Genome created to destroy the planet, and if Zidane's far eviler brother Kuja hadn't dumped him in Lindblum as a baby he probably would have. Bet you didn't see that coming.


	2. A cast of outcasts

Episode 1: A Cast of Outcasts

On the pier of Camp Wawanakwa stands a single man. That man is the one and (thankfully) only, Chris MacLaen.

"Hey, I heard that," says Chris. "Ahem. Welcome to the new season of Total Drama. This season, rather than bring back the old cast and torture them for the summer like we normally do, we decided to rip apart the fabric of the universe, or should we say, universes, and bring people in from different dimensions to torture for the summer. They will be competing for their freedom, and a cash prize of one million dollars . . . or whatever form of currency they use. They will be staying at this run down summer camp, which was recently retired from being a toxic waste dump. Twenty contestants, one winner, who will it be? We'll soon find out. In fact, here comes the first one." Off in the distance, a boat could be seen approaching the island. "Our first contestant is the host of the popular Internet show, iCarly. Don't worry, she can't take my job. I'm too good. Please welcome, Carly."

The boat stops at the pier, and Carly steps off. "Alright, time to rock . . . this crummy old summer camp?"

"Yep," replied Chris.

"I left my show in the hands of Sam & Spencer for this?" demanded Carly.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they won't screw the show up too badly while you're gone," said Chris.

"I'm not so sure," said Carly, as Chris pushed her to the end of the pier.

"Our next contestant is a member of the Tantalus Theatre Group and was originally created to destroy the world. Well, as long as he doesn't destroy my quarters there shouldn't be a problem. Please welcome, Zidane."

Another boat pulls up, and Zidane steps off. "Hey Chris, what's up man?" he said, walking past Chris quite close.

"Oh, you know, hosting a reality show and . . . hey, where's my wallet?" said Chris, patting his pockets.

Zidane chuckled to himself, and took Chris's wallet out of his pocket. "Man, I'm good," he said, throwing it back to him.

"You're not making a good first impression, you know," said Chris, opening his wallet. "Especially because you took the money out of here."

Zidane laughed to himself again, and took Chris's money out of his pocket, handing it back without a word.

"All of it," said Chris sternly.

Still laughing, Zidane handed back the remainder of Chris's money before walking to the end of the pier. "Hey, beautiful," said Zidane when he saw Carly.

"Who brought the talking monkey?" asked Carly.

"Hey, you wanna see what I can do with this tail?" asked Zidane, ignoring Carly's comment.

"We're being broadcast in Alexandria," called Chris from the other end of the pier. Immediately, Zidane shut up and looked away.

"That's better," said Chris. "Our next contestant wants to be the very best, like no-one ever was. He's collected over forty badges from gyms across the world, please welcome Ash." Another boat pulled up, and Ash stepped off with his Pikachu.

"Hey Chris, it's great to be here at . . . hey, what's that thing?" asked Ash, grabbing out his Pokédex.

"Seagull, a non-Pokémon," said the Pokédex's robotic voice. "A seagull is an animal with no huge impact on society. This one appears to have a plastic ring around its neck."

"A seagull, eh?" said Ash. "I haven't caught one of those. I choose you, Pikachu."

"Pika, pika," said Pikachu, stepping forward.

"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt," said Ash, pointing at the seagull.

"Pi-ka-CHU!" cried Pikachu, as a blast of electricity shots from Pikachu's cheeks, immediately zapping the seagull.

"Go, Pokéball," called Ash, throwing the ball out at the bird. The ball hit the seagull right in the wing, before bouncing off harmlessly.

"What the?" asked Ash, stunned. "It can't possibly have much health left, it's a flying type."

"That's not a Pokémon, Ash," said Chris. "That's an animal, this world's equivalent of Pokémon, except we don't brutally torture them and seal them in confined spaces. Which reminds me, we'll have to edit this footage out of the final cut or we'll be axed. Now, go stand with the other contestants." Chris pointed to the end of the pier, and Ash joined the other two.

"Now, for our next contestant," said Chris. "Her application says that she's a va . . ."

". . . mpire who can see the future based on what you decide," said a woman, stepping off the boat that had just pulled up.

"Uh . . . yeah," said Chris. "Well, as long as The . . . "

". . . Volturi don't find out about this she should be fine. Please welcome Alice," said Alice, smiling smugly to herself.

"Please sto . . . "

". . . p doing that," finished Alice. "I'll think about it." With that, she walked down to the end of the pier with the others.

"Hey beautiful," said Zidane, turning his attention to the newcomer.

"Stop," said Alice, holding up her hand. "Number one: I'm married. Number two: Jasper could literally tear you limb from limb. Number three: Dagger is already planning to beat you senseless for hitting on Carly." Zidane flinched, and said nothing more.

"Our next contestant became a member of Ouran Academy's Host Club when she accidentally broke a vase," said Chris. "You can only imagine what she had to break to get on this show. Please welcome Haruhi." Another boat pulled up, and Haruhi stepped off.

"Finally, a means of paying off that vase," said Haruhi. "Unless they decide to add on more cash for taking time off like this." Haruhi walked to the end of the pier and joined the other contestants. "Hi everyone."

The two guys greeted Haruhi, while Alice leaned over to Carly and whispered in her ear. "That's the first female contestant Zidane hasn't hit on."

"Maybe he hasn't realised yet," Carly replied.

"Realised what?" asked Zidane.

"Nothing," said Alice and Carly in unison.

"Our next contestant is known as an Abhorsen," said Chris. "This means she keeps the dead in death, using the bunch of magical bells. I don't get it either. Please welcome, Sabriel." Sabriel stepped off the boat, and it immediately pulled away. "So, Sabriel," said Chris. "I have to ask: magic bells?"

"Yes. They have the power to control what you do. If you want, I can send you so far into death you'll never come back," replied Sabriel.

"Um . . . no thanks," said Chris, moving Sabriel along.

"Don't even think about it Zidane," said Alice, seeing Zidane's mouth open as he prepared to hit on the new arrival.

"Our next contestant is the leader of the McKinley High New Directions. She knows more Broadway musicals than actually exist, please welcome Rachel."

Rachel steps off the boat just as it takes off. "This is so exciting," said Rachel. "I get to show off my talents on TV. Granted, it's a small time reality show, but it's a start."

"Thanks. I've won Gemmy's for this show," said Chris, with an annoyed tone. "Now, go join your fellow contestants."

"Same goes for this one Zidane," said Alice as Zidane opened his mouth.

"How do you keep doing that?" said Zidane, to which Alice just grinned smugly.

"Next up in this freak show of a cast we have a boy who couldn't carry out every kid's dream of killing his headmaster, even though he was contracted to do so," said Chris. "His father's probably gonna hear about this. Please welcome, Draco."

Instead of a boat turning up, Draco glided down on his broomstick to land on the pier. "You better believe my father's going to hear about this," said Draco. "You made me sound like a loser. I am not Potter."

"Whatever loser," said Chris. "Get over there with the other losers."

"HEY!" was the cry from the contestants on the pier as Draco joined them.

"Our next contestant is one of the last dragon riders in existence," said Chris. "That alone makes him awesome. Please welcome Murtagh."

Similar to Draco, Murtagh did not appear on a boat, but came by air. Unlike Draco, Murtagh arrived on a large red dragon. The dragon landed on the pier, and the wood underneath it groaned like it would give way. "Thorn, you may want to move," said Murtagh. "By the looks of it, this wood won't hold your weight. Must be getting old."

"Actually, we fixed this dump up especially for the show," said Chris. "Well, the interns did at least. Surprisingly few of them ended up in the ER this time. Anyway, move your lizard."

_You do know I can burn this entire camp down,_ said a voice in the minds of all those present.

"Whoa, did your giant Charizard just talk?" said Ash, stunned at what just happened.

"What the heck's a Charizard?" asked Haruhi, still unable to process all the weird stuff that had happened in the last few minutes.

"Moving on," said Chris. "Our next contestant can kill you just by knowing your name and face. Of course, he also needs access to a pen and paper. Please welcome Light." The next boat pulled up, and Light stepped off.

"Hello Chris," said Light. "It is an honour and a privilege to finally meet you in person."

"Thanks Light, but you still need to compete for the money," said Chris.

"We'll see about that," muttered Light as he walked past.

"What was that?" asked Chris.

"Nothing," said Light, evil looking grin on his face.

"Right. . ." said Chris, confused. "Our next contestant is too old to compete at the moment, so back in 1985 we set it up so he could compete. He should be arriving right about. . ." as Chris spoke, a DeLorean skidded to a halt on the pier. "Now," finished Chris, opening the door. "Please welcome, Marty."

Marty stepped out of the car, and looked around confused. "Hey Doc, I don't think we're in Hill Valley anymore," he said into the car.

Dr Emmett Brown stepped out too, also confused. "Where, and when, are we?" he asked.

"Well, you see, back in 1985, one of my producers mentioned that he was playing around with your car, and we reserved this island for when you finally got here," said Chris, walking up to the two time travellers.

"Who the heck are you?" asked Doc Brown.

"Who cares?" asked Marty. "Doc, get this thing up to 88 miles an hour and we can get outta here."

"Now would be a good time to reveal that I stole your flux capacitor," said Chris, and held it up for all to see.

"How did you do that?" asked Doc Brown.

"You weren't paying attention to me," said Chris. "Speaking of paying, Marty, you can potentially win one million dollars when you compete here. . ."

"Who cares? We have places to be. . ." started Doc Brown, before being interrupted by Marty.

"One million dollars? I'm so in," said Marty, running down to the end of the pier with the other contestants.

"Marty, wait," called Doc Brown, as he was dragged off by a large security guard. Meanwhile, one of the producers jumped into the DeLorean and quickly got it up to 88 miles an hour, disappearing and leaving only a trail of flames.

"Wow, I thought I'd have to resort to calling him chicken," said Chris. "Our next contestant is the daughter of the goddess of wisdom. Clearly, she didn't get her brains from her mother, otherwise she wouldn't have signed up for this show. Please welcome, Annabeth."

The boat pulled up to the dock, but no-one stepped off. After ten seconds, Chris couldn't stand it. "Hey Annabeth, you coming out here or not?"

"I'm already here," said a girl's voice, causing everyone present to jump.

"Oh, I get it, she has an Invisibility Cloak," said Draco. "That Potter kid has one too,"

Suddenly, Annabeth appeared on the dock out of nowhere. "Actually, it's more like a cap," said Annabeth, joining the other contestants.

"Okay . . . our next contestant loves swords and adventuring, and is NOT involved in some kind of internet comic strip. He'll be arriving right about . . ." Again, the DeLorean appeared on the dock. "Now. Please welcome Finn."

The door opened up, and Finn stepped out. "Whoa," he said. "I didn't know there were other humans."

"In this time there is," said Chris. "Our producer used The Doc's DeLorean to retrieve you from the future."

"Then, that means, I can warn you all about the war that wipes out humanity and save the world," said Finn.

"Sorry dude, but that would cause a rip in the space time continuum," said Chris.

"And bringing me back didn't?" said Finn. "I've got to at least try." Finn ran up the pier and grabbed Alice's shoulders. "You've got to listen to me. Every human, including you, will be killed if you . . ."

"Let me stop you there," said Alice. "I'm a vampire. I won't be killed by a mortal war."

"Oh . . . okay," said Finn, turning to Murtagh. "You can help me . . ."

"Sorry, I'm a dragon rider, which technically isn't human," said Murtagh.

Finn sighed. "Is anyone here actually human?" asked Finn, frustrated.

"Nope, Genome," said Zidane.

"Wizard," said Draco.

"Demigod," said Annabeth.

"I'll help you," said Light, stepping forward. "I have a little something that will allow me to stop anyone who might start a war. Instantly."

"Thank you sir," said Finn, bowing down in front of him. "I am forever in your debt, mister . . ."

"Please, just call me Light," said Light, smiling politely or evilly, depending what angle you looked at him from.

"Our next contestant has survived several fights to the death," said Chris. "You'd think she had enough of brutal competition by now. Please welcome Katniss."

Another boat pulled up, and Katniss stepped off. "Well, it certainly beats The Capital," she said. "And the arenas. Especially because there aren't horrible creatures threatening to kill you."

"Haha, yeah, of course not," said Chris, as Katniss joined the other contestants. "Our next contestant may be the most dangerous in the competition, because she's an eleven year old assassin. Please welcome, Mindy." A girl jumped off the next boat and immediately grabbed the front of Chris's shirt.

"Hey *beep*," she growled. "You better *beep* call me Hit-Girl *beep*, or I'll *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeep* then mail it to your mother." As she was saying this, each person present gasped in shock.

"Okay . . ." said Chris, still in shock. "Not sure I really want to know how you'd get a watermelon to fit." Unsure of what else to say, he let Hit-Girl past. "Our next contestant has cut the head off a statue, foiled a criminal mastermind about a dozen times, and sung in a boy band. And what's really amazing, he's only ten years old. Please welcome, Bart." Another boat pulls up, and Bart jumps off. "Bart. What's up dude?"

"Yeah, yeah. Great to be here at . . ." Bart suddenly looked up at a sign with the name of the camp. "Camp Wawanakwa? I thought I was going to Kamp Krusty."

"This place is even better," said Chris. "Can you win one million dollars at Kamp Krusty?"

"You can from the lawsuits," replied Bart, joining the other competitors.

"Moving on," said Chris. "Our next competitor supports his best friend in all situations, including fighting his new girlfriend's seven evil exes. Well, sort of. Please welcome, Wallace."

The next boat pulls up, and Wallace gets off. "Wow, really? I signed up to spend my summer at some crappy camp?" asked Wallace.

"Whoa man. Can we say crap on this show?" asked Bart.

"Who *beep* cares?" replied Hit-Girl.

"And we can say *beep*?" asked Bart.

"I've been here twelve seconds, and already I've seen two pre-teens say the word *beep*," said Wallace. "I think I'm gonna love it here."

"And our censor is going to love being paid by the *beep*," said Chris as Wallace walked past to join the other competitors. "Our next competitor normally competes in the Dead or Alive fighting tournament. So what's she doing here? We told her that her runaway shinobi sister was hiding here. Please welcome, Ayane."

The next boat pulls up, and Ayane jumps off from the front and lands on the pier, doing several flips in the process. "Alright, where is she?" said Ayane, grabbing the front of Chris's shirt.

"Not here," said Chris. "We just told you that so you'd compete."

Ayane glared at Chris, before throwing his up in the air. As Chris was about to hit the pier, Ayane began spinning around, fists extended. Each time she spun around, a fist connected with him. After several turns, Ayane did a backflip, kicking Chris in the process.

**WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.**

The scene returns, with Chris's face covered in several bruises, and Ayane being restrained by a larger intern . . . barely. Chris straightened up, and faced the camera. "Our next competitor is a teenage crime fighting cheerleader. This makes her the only cheerleader who knows more than just hair products. Please welcome, Kim." The next boat pulls up, and Kim jumps off from the front and lands on the pier, doing several flips in the process. "Oh *beep*, déjà vu," said Chris, cowering in fear.

"What do you mean déjà vu?" asked Kim, walking past Chris and joining the other competitors.

"Erm . . . nothing," said Chris, standing back up. "And now, our final competitor has a habit of catching The Sticky Bandits by use of elaborate and dangerous traps. He's like the kid version of me. Please welcome, Kevin."

The final boat pulls up, and Kevin steps off. "Whoa, I must be about the last one here," said Kevin.

"You are the last one here," said Chris. "Whenever the producer who was escorting you turned around, you disappeared. It was extremely time consuming."

"Oh, sorry," said Kevin, joining the other nineteen competitors.

"Okay, now that we're all here, let's pick some teams," said Chris. "You see that shark-infested water we're standing over? You may notice there are red and green balls floating in it. Grab one, and return to land. Those of you who survive will be placed on a team according to the colour."

"Those of us who survive?" questioned Rachel.

"Yep," replied Chris, not even batting an eyelid at her shock.

"Surely this is dangerous and illegal," said Light, though he sounded calm enough.

"Don't worry, the intern who tested this will be discharged from hospital sometime in the next month," said Chris, still unconcerned.

"Well forget this," said Carly. "I'm not swimming in shark infested water."

"Actually, I intentionally rigged the pier to collapse under your collective weight," said Chris. As if on cue, the pier suddenly collapsed, with some of the contestants screaming as they hit the water. "Good luck," called Chris. "You're gonna need it."

As the contestants resurfaced, they watched in horror as several large shark fins rapidly approached. "WE'RE GONNA DIE!" screamed Haruhi.

"No we're not," said Hit-Girl, who immediately swam out and punched one of the sharks in the nose. "Come on, anyone with some fight in them, help me protect those *beep* weaklings."

As if on cue, Draco brought out his wand. "AVADA KEDAVRA," he yelled, shooting a green light at one of the sharks. Suddenly, it turned on its stomach and stopped moving.

"Draco, we only need to incapacitate them, not kill them," said Ash, grabbing a Pokéball. "I choose you, Bulbasaur." He threw the ball onto the pier, and Bulbasaur popped out. "Bulbasaur, use Razor Leaf on those overgrown Sharpedo." Immediately, sharp leaves began firing from Bulbasaur at the sharks. "Come on, while they're distracted."

Within seconds, Rachel, Draco, Ash, Wallace and Ayane had grabbed one of the balls and returned to shore. They were soon followed by Murtagh and Katniss. Katniss turned around to see how everyone else was doing. Hit-Girl and Finn seemed more preoccupied with fighting the sharks than finishing the challenge, Zidane was saving each girl who got in trouble, and most of the others were simply trying to grab a ball that wasn't too close to a shark.

"Hey Murtagh, we should help those guys," said Katniss, stringing her bow and grabbing an arrow.

"I guess I should help you, seeing as we're going to be teammates," said Murtagh, indicating the green ball in his hand. Katniss hadn't noticed, but she'd also grabbed a green one. Katniss nodded, and immediately aimed an arrow at one of the sharks. Meanwhile, Mutragh started speaking some kind of gibberish. As he finished, several of the sharks turned around and swam back out to sea. This freed up several contestants, who grabbed a ball and returned to land.

As Annabeth, Finn, Haruhi and Carly returned to land, Katniss turned to Murtagh. "How did you do that?" she asked, astounded.

"The Ancient Language of my world carries a lot of magical power," said Murtagh, focusing his attention to another shark. Katniss shrugged and fired an arrow. With the combined efforts of them two, and Ash's Bulbasaur, there weren't very many sharks left. After the next attack from the two on the beach, Hit-Girl, Bart, Alice (who had just drained the shark Draco killed of its blood), Kevin, Light and Sabriel reached the beach, their teams decided. Meanwhile, in the water . . .

"Don't worry Kim, I'll save you," said Zidane, throwing himself in front of Kim.

"Umm . . . from what?" said Kim, confused. "Katniss, Murtagh and Ash got rid of the sharks. In fact, I have my ball. I just need to go to land."

Zidane looked around, and all he saw was himself, Kim and Marty, as well as two green balls floating in the water. "Oh," was all he could manage as Kim swam back to land. Grabbing the two green balls, he threw one to Marty. "Come on," he said, swimming back himself.

As Zidane and Marty reached the shore, Chris came back. "Alright, nobody died. That means we don't have to worry about potential lawsuits. Now, as for the teams," he said picking up a rolled up banner. "Could those of you with a green ball come up here please?" Alice, Carly, Draco, Hit-Girl, Katniss, Light, Marty, Murtagh, Rachel and Zidane stepped forward. "From here on you'll be known as, The Giant Sharks." As He spoke, he threw them the banner he was holding, which Rachel unfurled. The image on it had a large green shark on it.

"Really? You're naming us after the things that just tried to kill us?" asked Marty, dumbfounded.

"Yeah, I do worse things too," said Chris, causing many contestants to gasp. "Now, I guess that leaves Annabeth, Ash, Ayane, Bart, Finn, Haruhi, Kevin, Kim, Sabriel and Wallace to be the other team, The Striking Vipers." As he spoke, he threw another banner at the other team, which was caught and unfurled by Bart.

"Oh, mama," said Bart, almost drooling over the team name.

"And, as an added bonus, since The Striking Vipers had all their members on the beach first, they get an advantage in the next part of the challenge," said Chris.

"But . . . we didn't even know our teams at that time," said Carly. "And we didn't know that there was some kind of advantage. How is this fair?"

"Simple: It's not," said Chris, much to Carly's shock. "Now, let's go on a quick tour of the island."

"First, we have the elimination campfire," said Chris, showing them a clearing with ten log seats and a bonfire pit. "After each challenge, the losing team will be forced to choose someone to eliminate. They will then come here, where that loser will be announced. That loser will then be fired out of that cannon," as Chris said that line, Chef appeared, pushing a cannon. "It's known as the 'Blast of Shame'."

"Excuse me, but where, do we end up after being fired from that thing?" asked Rachel, who looked very concerned about the possibility of being shot out of a cannon.

"Don't know, don't care," said Chris. "Now, let's take a look at the place where you'll be casting those votes."

"Right in here," said Chris, opening the door to an outhouse. "This is also the confession cam. If there's something you need to get off your chest, go in here, and tell the whole world what you don't want people at camp to know."

"Why would we tell something to seven billion people, but not the other people at camp?" asked Wallace.

"It adds to the drama. Duh. Why else would this show be called Total Drama?" said Chris. "Now, over there is the mess hall, where Chef serves your meals, which for legal reasons can't be called food. And over there are the cabins, where you'll be sleeping. Sharks in the east cabin, Vipers in the west."

"Which way is east?" asked Bart.

"Aren't you on the Vipers?" asked Chris.

"Yeah, but I want to egg their cabin," replied Bart.

"That's a bit cruel. That one," replied Chris, pointing at one of the cabins. Bart laughed a little to himself before running off to the cabin, eggs in hand. "Oh wait, maybe it was the other one," he said. "Doesn't matter, it's your problem now. Anyway, the next part of your challenge begins in ten minutes. Meet back here then."

As the campers dispersed, Light grabbed Finn's shoulder. "Hey Finn," he started. "I hope that, even though we're on different teams, we can still be friends."

"Huh? Yeah, sure," said Finn. "But don't think I'm gonna take it easy on you in the challenges. I'm in this to win this"

Light chuckled to himself. "Sure thing, Finn. See you for the first challenge, and may the best man win."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"That Finn kid is going to be fun to manipulate. Now that I have a man on the inside of the Vipers, I just have to decide which players of each of our teams is the biggest threat to my victory."

**Confession Cam: Finn**

"Light's a really nice guy. Really hope I don't have to beat him in the finals."

Back at the cabins . . .

"What in Hades did you do Bart?" Annabeth yelled. "You just egged our cabin. Why?"

"Chris told me the wrong one," said Bart. "What else was I meant to do?"

"No-one forced you to egg the cabin," said Annabeth. "And furthermore . . ." She was suddenly cut off as Bart threw an egg in her face.

Bart started laughing hysterically. "I had one left," he managed to say between laughs. He fell to the floor in hysterics, while many of his teammates glared at him.

**Confession Cam: Annabeth**

"I am so going to get rid of that kid, I swear by my mother and Zeus." A moment of silence passes. "Well, you gonna help me or not? I know you're listening."

Just outside the mess hall . . .

"Hey Finn," said Haruhi, sitting down beside him.

"Oh, hey Haruhi," replied Finn.

"So, I saw you talking to that Light guy before," said Haruhi. "You seem to be getting along pretty well with him."

"Yeah, he's pretty cool," said Finn. "I mean, I know he's on the other team and all . . ."

"That's the thing," said Haruhi. "He's on the other team. He might be trying to get a person on the inside of our team, you know?"

"What are you saying Haruhi?" asked Finn.

"Look, I'm not saying Light's a bad guy," said Haruhi. "But be careful. He might be trying to manipulate you."

Finn looked at her, stunned. "You're wrong," said Finn. "Light's a good guy. Why would you suggest that?" As he spoke, Finn got up and walked away.

"I'm warning you Finn, he might be bad news," called Haruhi, before getting up herself.

Just inside the mess hall, Light is crouched down near an open window. He has a smile on his mouth.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"And Haruhi has become the first Viper who will feel my wrath. I just need to think of an angle to work with Finn so that he doesn't realise I was eavesdropping."

As Light left the confessional, he spotted Haruhi walking into the bathroom. 'Wait a minute," thought Light. 'Haruhi's going into the girl's bathroom. That's a bit . . . wait. Is it possible that maybe . . . yes. I know what's going on here.' Light smiled to himself. 'I've found my angle'.

"Campers, the next challenge starts in two minutes," came Chris's voice over the loudspeaker.

"You think the first challenge is going to be difficult?" asked Kevin.

"Given the way he dumped us in shark infested water, I'd be more worried about it being dangerous," replied Wallace.

As the campers assembled near the cabins, the campers stared at a large crate, which was shaking violently. Chris walked out from behind it. "Welcome to the second part of the challenge," he said.

"What's with the crate?" asked Kim.

"It's contains the second part of the challenge," said Chris. "And you'll find out what's in it next time, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	3. Driving the snakes out of Wawanakwa

Episode 2: Driving the Snakes Out Of Wawanakwa

Scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "We met this year's twenty competitors, who I then dumped in shark infested waters. Katniss and Murtagh saved several people from being eaten, much to our lawyer's relief. We settled on our teams: The Giant Sharks and The Striking Vipers, both of which our contestants will have to survive."

Suddenly, Chef speaks up. "Chris, they don't know about the vipers yet."

"Hush Chef, they might not have guessed yet," said Chris. "Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Light made friends Finn, so he can manipulate him to his will. Ratings, here we come. Haruhi tried to warn Finn, but ended up with her secret revealed to Light." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "Who will become friends? Who will become enemies? And most importantly, who will I get to fire out of a canon? The answers to these questions and more right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

The scene returns to Chris and the campers, with a large crate that keeps moving by itself. "Now, as you can see, I have a large, dangerous looking crate here," said Chris. "This crate contains several enraged vipers, which you'll have to catch for the next part of the challenge."

"It's only that dangerous?" asked Katniss.

"Exactly, which is why I'm glad I'm not you," said Chris.

"Good, let's go. We can eliminate the weak, leaving the strong to fight to the death," said Ayane, cracking her knuckles.

"I had that idea too," said Chris. "Sadly, our lawyers said there'd be too many lawsuits. Spoil sports. Anyway, to catch the snakes, you need to use the mice out of this barrel." As Chris spoke, Chef rolled out a barrel, also moving of its own accord.

"Finally, we can get rid of some of the rodents from the kitchen," said Chef. "If we have any spare snakes after the challenge, can we put them on rat catching duty?"

"I was just gonna let them run free, but that sounds more fun," said Chris. "Now, when you catch your snake, you must put them into these specially made snake cages. First team to catch five wins. Vipers, because you won the last part of the challenge, you get a one minute head start. And . . . GO!" As Chris said go, he opened the crate. Vipers erupted from the crate, and slithered straight for the campers. "Remember Sharks, you can't do anything for a minute. Vipers, get moving."

The members of the Giant Sharks did as they were told, due in part to several of them being too paralysed with fear to move. The Striking Vipers immediately got out of the way of the oncoming snakes. "Does anyone actually know how to catch a snake?" asked Wallace. "Or are we just meant to wave a mouse at them and hope for the best?"

"Leave it to me," said Ash. "I choose you, Swellow." Ash threw a Pokeball, and out popped Swellow. "Swellow, grab the snakes and put them in the cage." Immediately, Swellow swooped down and grabbed a snake. It struggled, but soon was dropped into one of the cages.

"One to the Striking Vipers. Sharks, still fifteen seconds to go," said Chris from the sidelines.

"Allow me to help," said Sabriel, who pulled a bell out of one of the pouches on her belt. "Saraneth, bind this snake to my will." As the bell sounded, a nearby snake turned to face her. "Get in the cage," she told it. Immediately, the snake slithered into the cage.

"Two to the Vipers," said Chris. "Sharks, you can start now."

"Okay guys, we can still win this," said Light. "Anyone have any ideas?"

"I do," said Draco, pulling out his wand. "Wingardium Leviosa." Immediately, a snake started floating in the air, and fell into one of the cages.

"One to the Sharks," said Chris.

"Make that two," said Alice, holding a snake that was trying to bite her but couldn't pierce her rock hard skin. She gently placed the snake into the cage with their other one.

Ayane quickly plucked a snake off the ground and threw it at the cage. Her aim was perfect, and the snake joined her team's other captures.

"Oh no you don't," said Hit-Girl, grabbing another snake. She then copied Ayane's move, and tied up the score again.

"It must be a rule among people with purple hair that you must be able to do insane stuff like that," said Kim, who was holding a stick with another snake on the end. Carefully, she dropped that snake into the cage.

"As long as they don't turn their insanity on us, who cares?" asked Zidane, who dropped another snake into his team's cage.

"Quick, the scores are even," yelled Carly. "Someone, find the last snake."

"Umm . . . Carly?" started Marty. "Don't wanna freak you out or anything, but, ah . . . the snake is on you."

Carly stared at him, wide-eyed, before slowly turning her head. True to his word, the final viper was staring right back at her. "AHHH!" screamed Carly. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" She flailed wildly, trying to get rid of the snake. The snake attempted to bite her, but narrowly missed her head. As it struck, it lost its grip on her waist, allowing Carly flailing arm to strike the viper's chest. Amazingly, the viper landed right in her team's cage.

"And in a come from behind victory, the Giant Sharks win immunity," said Chris, finally coming out of his hiding spot. "Striking Vipers, since you lost, tonight you'll be sending someone home, and I get to test out my new toy on something other than garbage."

"Don't you mean interns?" asked Chef.

"That's what I said," replied Chris. "See you at the elimination ceremony."

Rachel and Katniss grabbed Carly's legs and raised her up while Murtagh started a cheer for her, though Carly was still freaking out about the snake, which made it difficult to hold her.

The Striking Vipers looked around their team, trying to decide who to get rid of. "Well, since Bart egged our cabin, and me, I say we get rid of him," said Annabeth. "I urge you all to vote with me." At that, she walked away to cast her vote officially. Murmurs of agreement came from the other campers, though none followed Annabeth.

It was about an hour later when Light found Finn. "Hey Finn, what's up?" asked Light, sitting down beside him.

"Not a lot. Just trying to decide who to vote for tonight," said Finn. "I think I might go with Bart, because of the whole egging business."

"I have another idea," said Light. "Haruhi."

"Haruhi?" asked Finn, confused. "But why? He hasn't done anything that bad. Sure, he didn't help out in the last challenge, but neither did Bart."

"_She_ isn't all _she_ appears," said Light. Finn opened his mouth to protest, but Light kept going. "Think about it. Didn't you think it was odd that there are eleven guys and only nine girls? Wouldn't it make more sense to have ten of each?"

"Yeah, but . . ." Finn started, but he was in too much shock to keep going.

Light smiled inwardly. _I've got him now_, he thought. "Haruhi is hiding her own sex from you guys," said Light. "Who knows what other secrets she's hiding from you? Disturbing, diabolical secrets." Light got up from where he was sitting. "I'm only telling you this for your team's sake. She's evil. She'll tear your team apart to take the money." As he finished, Light walked off, satisfied he'd done what he intended.

Finn stared after him, speechless. "YOU'RE WRONG!" yelled Finn when he finally snapped out of it, though he didn't fully believe it. Finn got up, and ran back to the Viper's cabin. There was nobody else there, so Finn quickly looked for Haruhi's stuff. Much to his shock, it wasn't on the boy's side of the cabin. Quickly, he found her stuff on the girl's side, and carefully started to look through it. It wasn't long before his fears were confirmed: he found a bra.

**Confession Cam: Finn**

"Whoa, what the H? Light was right. Haruhi's a girl. Maybe she is evil. I have to get rid of her. I need to tell everyone."

**Confession Cam: Annabeth**

"Bart, you are outta here."

**Confession Cam: Kevin**

"I just about to come in here and vote off Bart when Finn told me that Haruhi is a girl. I couldn't believe it. If she won't even tell people if she's a boy or girl, she must be hiding more than just that."

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"So I was about to start a smear campaign against Annabeth when Finn told me about Haruhi's secret. I don't want to share my cabin with any more girls. The cabin's already infested with too many girl germs. I'm voting for her."

**Confession Cam: Haruhi**

"I have to vote for that immature little Bart kid. Seriously, egging? What is he, ten years old? Oh, wait."

Later, at the elimination ceremony, the Striking Vipers are sitting around a campfire. Light is hiding in the shadows, unnoticeable by anyone. Haruhi is drinking a cup of coffee when Chris comes up and grabs it.

"I shall drink this commoner's coffee," said Chris, finishing Haruhi's coffee and throwing the mug into the fire. Haruhi looked at him with a mixture of shock and hatred. "Vipers, welcome to the first Total Drama All Stars elimination ceremony. Here's how it works: I have nine marshmallows on this plate. Those of you who are safe will receive a marshmallow, meaning you will be safe until the next time you're here. That leaves one of you to take the Blast of Shame. You will be blasted out of that cannon, leaving the island, and you will never, ever ever, be allowed to return." He paused dramatically at this point before continuing. "The following people are safe." The campers were silent as Chris picked up a list of names. As he spoke each name, he threw them a marshmallow. "Kevin, Kim, Ayane, Wallace, Ash, Annabeth, Sabriel, Finn." Chris looked up at the contestants. "Campers, there is only one marshmallow left on this plate," said Chris. "The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." as he spoke these words, Bart looked fearfully that it might be him, while Haruhi just smiled, thinking it was Bart. "Bart," said Chris, throwing him the marshmallow. Light silently fistpumped, but stayed where he was.

A stunned silence followed, before Annabeth stood up. "WHAT?!" she screamed. "How in Hades did Haruhi lose to Bart?"

"Because she's evil," said Finn, facing Annabeth.

"What are you talking about?" asked Haruhi, facing Finn.

"I know your little secret," said Finn. "Hiding the fact you're a girl. What else are you hiding, Haruhi?"

"I wasn't hiding that I'm a girl," said Haruhi. "This is just the way I normally dress. You just assumed I was a boy."

"But . . ." started Finn, but was cut off by Ayane.

"What made you think she was a boy anyway?" she asked.

"Light said that since she was hiding her sex, she must be hiding other secrets," said Finn.

"I told you he was bad news," said Haruhi, as Chris led her away.

"Enough chitchat," said Chris, pushing her into the cannon. "Time for me to play with my new toy."

"Wait Chris," called Finn. "I volunteer for elimination."

Just as Finn finished speaking, the cannon fired, sending Haruhi flying over the horizon. "Too late," said Chris, who laughed at what he'd just done. Light slipped away from the campfire at this point, completely unnoticed by anyone.

**Confession Cam: Finn**

"Light tricked me. Haruhi was right, he is evil. Hopefully, he gets eliminated next."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Finn may be angry at me now, but I reckon I can get him on my side. Bart may also be grateful enough that I saved him I can get him on my side. You know, in case things don't work out with Finn."

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"Light just saved me from elimination. Maybe I can use this to my advantage."

The scene returns to Chris watching these confessions on a computer screen. "Wow, two episodes in and already the teams are tearing each other apart. I love it, especially since I didn't even have to do anything." Turning to the camera, he continued speaking. "Will Light be able to keep Finn on his side? Will Bart use Light, or vice versa? And who will be eliminated next? Find out next time, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	4. Truth or rocket-propelled hockey puck

Episode 3: Truth or Rocket-Propelled Hockey Puck

Scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "The campers were made to catch some extremely venomous vipers, which were also extremely ticked off. Maybe I shouldn't have shaken their box a few times before unleashing them. Anyway, despite having a bit of extra time, the Striking Vipers lost the challenge when Carly accidently won it for the Giant Sharks. Light worked his magic on Finn, and successfully managed to get Haruhi eliminated despite Bart's little prank." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "Will Light be able to convince Finn to trust him? Will Carly accidently save her team again? And will some of the other characters get a bit more airtime? Find out the answers to these questions and more in this episode of Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Murtagh was out doing some early morning training with Thorn when Ash came up. "Hey Murtagh," he said, admiring the Rider's skill with the dragon. "So I, uh, never really got a chance to talk to you about your Charizard . . ."

Murtagh stopped what he was doing and turned to Ash. "My what?" he asked, dumbfounded. "Where do you come from that you don't know what a dragon is?"

"Umm . . . Pallet Town?" said Ash, now confused himself. "Sorry, what did you call that thing? Dragonite?"

Murtagh glared at Ash in anger, but before he could do anything Thorn raised his head. '_Murtagh, stop'_, he said, so that both he and Ash could hear.

"That's another thing I don't get," said Ash. "How do you speak in my head? Are you a Dragon and Psychic type?"

'_Hush child',_ said Thorn. '_I am unlike your little Pokémon friends. I am a dragon. I am a being of immense power. Not even I know the extent of those powers.'_

"Immense power, eh?" said Ash. "Then I challenge you to a battle."

'_A brave challenge'_, said Thorn. '_However, the outcome will not be in your favour. None of your Pokémon could match my strength.'_

"We'll see about that," said Ash. "I choose you, Charizard." Ash threw a Pokéball, and out popped a large dragon-like Pokémon, Charizard.

'_Very well'_, replied Thorn. '_Don't say I didn't warn you'._ Thorn immediately got onto his feet while Charizard sprung into the air. Thorn directed a few jets of flames at Charizard, but Charizard managed to dodge it.

"Charizard, use Mega-Punch," called Ash. Charizard dodged past several more blasts of fire before landing a powerful punch in Thorn's side. Unfortunately for Charizard, Thorn was much larger than him, and the punch was like a mosquito bite to a human. With very little effort, Thorn swatted Charizard out of the air and sent him falling to the ground.

'_You see, Ash'_, said Thorn. '_Your Pokémon was nowhere near my minimum effort. Had I been really trying, I could have incinerated your Charizard, which would have been ironic considering his breath can melt mountains.'_

Ash recoiled in shock, and accidentally backed into Finn. "Hey Ash," said Finn, before noticing Murtagh and Thorn. "Oh, I see you're fraternising with the enemy."

"I can assure you Finn, I had nothing to do with Light's plot," said Murtagh. "What he did was despicable, and I would know. I was made to serve a ruthless dictator who wanted nothing but absolute power."

"Yeah, you expect me to believe that?" spat Finn. "Come on Ash, unless you're going to turn against us too."

**Confession Cam: Ash**

"Ever since Haruhi was eliminated, Finn has been really harsh on all Giant Sharks members. I doubt all of them are like Light . . . although considering how easily he manipulated Finn, maybe they will be soon."

Meanwhile, Bart was sitting on the pier playing with his slingshot when Light came up. "Hey Bart," he said, sitting down beside him. "What's up?"

"Not much," replied Bart. "Trying to think of ways to get rid of that Annabeth chick. She almost got me eliminated last night. Which reminds me, you saved me." Bart looked up at Light curiously.

"Yes, I did," said Light. "I wanted to talk to you about that. I want to make an alliance with you."

Bart continued to stare at him. "But we're on different teams," he said. "We can't be friends without betraying our own teams."

"Then we don't have to let anyone find out about it," said Light. "Think about it: no-one knows we're here, right? We'll always meet here to discuss tactics. We can see if someone is coming, or if someone's already here, so we can avoid this place if we need to. Together, we could be the final two contestants. All you have to do is agree, and I'll take you to the end."

Bart looked at him suspiciously for a minute, then smiled. "Deal, man," he said finally.

"Excellent," said Light, shaking hands with Bart over their new deal.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"With my new alliance with Bart, I might not need that Finn kid anymore. I'll try and fix our so called 'friendship', but he may have outlived his usefulness."

"Campers, assemble at the amphitheatre for today's suici . . . err, challenge," said Chris over the loudspeaker. "And call your lawyers to remind them you agreed to this."

Over in the Giants Sharks cabin . . .

"Am I the only one who thinks that some of us are going to be killed on this show?" asked Rachel, who didn't miss what Chris almost said.

"Pfft, like that *beep* would *beep* dare," replied Hit-Girl as she left.

"I don't think there's soap strong enough to wash out your mouth young lady," sighed Rachel, before following her to certain doom.

At the amphitheatre, the campers were sitting with their teams in two separate stands. Chris and Chef appear onstage. "Hello campers, and welcome to today's challenge. I like to call it 'Truth or Rocket Propelled Hockey Puck'."

Several contestants gasped, before Kim spoke up. "I'm going to regret asking this, but why is it called that?"

"Glad you asked," said Chris, clearly and horrifyingly telling the truth. "Our producers have asked someone close to you to give us an embarrassing fact about you. Confess, and your team earns a point. Failure to do that will cause Chef to fire a hockey puck at you out of this rocket launcher, as he will now demonstrate." As he finished speaking, Chef lifted the rocket launcher and fired it into the Striking Vipers stand. Several members narrowly dodged the projectile, and amazingly no-one was hit. "Any questions?" The contestants were too shocked to speak. "Good, let's get started." Chris picked up a pile of cards and began reading from the first one. "From the Giant Sharks: who once accidentally grabbed a princess's butt?"

"Pfft, you call that embarrassing?" said Zidane. "I am proud to say that Princess Garnet's butt is as soft as a pillow made of marshmallows." As he finished speaking, Zidane noticed that the nine female contestants were glaring at him.

"Somehow, I get the feeling that Haruhi's glaring at you from home," said Chris, picking up the next card. "From the Striking Vipers: who nearly got killed by a flock of sparrows barely a mile from home?" This time, nobody spoke up. After ten seconds, a buzzer sounded. "Ooh, sorry Vipers, but if Ash had just spoken up . . ."

"I didn't get nearly killed by a flock of sparrows, whatever they are," said Ash. "I was nearly killed by a flock of Spearow."

"Either way, I get to do this," said Chef, lifting the rocket launcher. He fired it, and a hockey puck smashed Ash right through the stand, leaving an Ash shaped hole where he was sitting.

"Ooh, he may need medical attention. Oh well, next victim: who, on their birthday, had a goat . . ."

"Stop. It's me," interrupted Carly, holding her head down in shame.

"What did the goat . . ." started Rachel.

"NEVER MIND WHAT THE GOAT DID!" yelled Carly.

"Come on guys," said Kevin. "They're two nil up. We need to just admit to whatever dirt Chris has on us and hope they don't do the same."

"Next on the list, who watches violent movies but freaks out when there's a gun fight?" asked Chris, looking at the Striking Vipers. Kevin sunk down in his seat, but said nothing. The ten seconds quickly expired. "Wow Kevin," said Chris. "I didn't even think this was that embarrassing, especially after the motivating speech. Oh well. Chef?"

"I love my job," said Chef, lifting up the rocket launcher and firing. A hockey puck flew into the stands and collected Kevin. "I love it much more when they scream in terror though."

"You're not alone my friend," said Chris. "Next secret: who manipulated everyone they ever knew to cleanse the world of evil?"

"That would be me," said Light. "And might I add, I am not proud of it." As he said the second part, he looked over at Finn.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Yes I am."

"Alright, three to nothing Giant Sharks lead," said Chris. "Will our next contestant put a score on the board for them? Their secret is: they snuck out of the house to see a rap concert, and to cover it up they framed their best friend's dad for kidnapping?"

"Has Lisa been blabbing about me again?" called Bart, outraged.

"I'll take that as a confession," said Chris. "Three to one, Giant Sharks lead. Next secret: whose father is an accountant but claims to be an ex-cop?"

"Who the *beep* told you that?" demanded Hit-Girl.

"I'm not legally obliged to tell you that," said Chris. "You'll just have to bribe me for that information afterwards like everyone else." Chris picked up the next card. "Okay Vipers: who easily stops criminal masterminds, but practically freezes up around cute boys?"

"Well, what else am I meant to do?" asked Kim. "You can't just talk to a cute guy."

"So you don't find any of the guys here cute?" asked Wallace.

"I didn't say that," said Kim. At this, Light's ears pricked up, a small smile spread across his lips, then it was gone.

"Four to two, Giant Sharks lead. Next secret: who here is a chicken?"

"What?" demanded Marty. "Nobody calls me chicken." At this, Marty started to get up.

"Chef, if you would," said Chris. On his command, Chef picked up the hockey puck launcher and blasted Marty.

"It does seem a little unfair that he gets blasted even though he confessed," said Chef.

"Really Chef?" asked Chris.

"Nah," replied Chef, and the two of them started laughing.

When they finally finished laughing at Marty's misfortune, Chris picked up the next card. "Okay, which member of the Striking Vipers has a crush on a princess made of candy?"

"Hey, come on. Princess Bubblegum is totally human," said Finn. "At least, I think she is."

"Whatever man," said Chris. "Next up, who from the Giant Sharks had their boyfriend try to kill them?" For the first time with the Giant Sharks, no-one spoke. Soon, the buzzer went off. "Ooh, tough luck Sharks," said Chris. "Katniss, if you'd spoken up your team might have got a clean sweep."

"But Peeta never tried to kill me," said Katniss. "In fact, he tried to defend me."

"Yes, I'm sure lots of people try to protect each other in a fight to the death," said Chris. "Chef, puck her. Hmm, wonder if that will have to be censored? Probably not." Chef gladly picked up his new toy and blasted Katniss with it. "She'll be okay," said Chris. "She survived The Hunger Games . . . twice. Now, next secret: who has a crush on their own brother?"

At Chris said this, a collective 'eww' rose from all the contestants . . . except one. "I'll have you know he's only my half-brother," said Ayane.

"He's still related to you. By blood," said Wallace. "What more does he need to do to make you uninterested?"

"Watch your mouth, pretty boy," said Ayane. "I can rearrange your body in any way I please."

"Can we sell the mutant you create to the circus?" asked Chris. Ayane simply nodded, and Chris got a giddy look in his eyes. "On that cheerful note, Giant Sharks lead five to four. Next up, who couldn't see a flying golden ball when it was three inches from his face?" Like before, no-one spoke. When the buzzer sounded, Chris was grinning like a maniac . . . more so. "Don't want to make yourself look bad, Draco?"

"Don't you dare talk about me like that," said Draco. "I'll tell my father about this."

"Pfft, as if he knows anyone who can do something about it," said Chris. "Chef?" Chef aimed the puck launcher and fired at Draco.

"WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA," yelled Draco, pulling out his wand. The puck sailing towards him stopped where it was and simply floated there.

"Chef?" said Chris again, and Chef fired a second puck at Draco. Before Draco could drop the first puck, the second one struck him in the middle of his head.

"I'll . . . tell my . . . father about this," said Draco before passing out.

"Like you're gonna remember it," said Chris. "Next up: who shares a bed with a guy?"

"That'd be me," said Wallace, like it was no big deal.

"And you don't find that weird in any way?" asked Carly, giving him a strange look.

"Should I?" replied Wallace, still like it was no big deal.

"Yeah, you probably should," said Chris.

"Ah, Chris," said Chef, who came up to Chris and whispered something in his ear.

"Really? Hmm, never would have guessed," said Chris. "Moving on: who fell in love with a guy who everyone warned her would horrifically betray her?"

"Oh, you mean Riha . . . started Wallace.

**WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.**

The scene returns, and Wallace has been knocked out by a hockey puck. "I really hope we don't get axed for that," said Chris. "Anyway, time's up . . . Rachel."

"But I never got a chance to respond after the whole Wallace incident," said Rachel. "I would have admitted it, I swear. Give me another . . ." She didn't say anything else after this, because she was knocked out by a hockey puck, much to everyone's relief.

"Okay, score check: Sharks 5, Vipers 5. Quite the comeback there, Vipers. Next secret: who nearly gets killed by their cat whenever they take his collar off?"

"You would too if the thing was an ancient evil spirit," said Sabriel.

"That's a confession," said Chris. "Sharks, you need to answer confess to this in order to stay in the game."

"There's only us left," Murtagh whispered to Alice. "If we both confess, Annabeth will have to confess since she's the last one for the Vipers. That'll bring us to a tie."

As Chris picked up the last card, Alice leaned over to Murtagh. "It's yours," she said. "Quick, confess now."

"Okay, who got forced into slave labour for a delusional, omnipotent king?" asked Chris.

Before Murtagh could speak, Draco stood up in front of him, though he was unsteady on his feet. "But mummy, I swear, the hippogriff ate the chandelier. How else would there be cookies in the basement?" he said, clearly still suffering from a nasty head wound. As he finished speaking, he stumbled out of the stands and knocked himself out again.

Just as Draco hit the ground, the buzzer sounded. "Ooh, tough luck Murtagh," said Chris. "Chef, if you would."

As Chef fired at Murtagh, he began speaking in a language no-one could understand. Suddenly, the hockey puck stopped dead where it was and fell to the ground. "Yeah, I can do that," said Murtagh. "Take your best shot."

Chris picked up a rock and was about to throw it when suddenly, there was a loud thump. Murtagh slumped over where he was standing, to reveal Alice standing there. "Chris, if you had tried that, you were only going to get yourself killed," she said, before taking her seat again.

"Well, that's a time saver," said Chris. "Sadly, doesn't count as a game saver. Vipers, if your final contestant admits to this, you win outright."

"It's me isn't it?" asked Annabeth.

"You don't know that yet," said Chris.

"Considering my teammates have all confessed to something, and you haven't doubled up yet, and you've only got two cards left, and Alice hasn't confessed yet either, I'd say it's me," said Annabeth.

"Fine, it's you," said Chris, slightly annoyed. "It's not much fun when I don't get to tell everyone that you're dating your cousin."

Like before, a collective 'eww' rose from the contestants. "It's not weird," said Annabeth. "Gods don't have DNA, therefore we're not related."

"Your mother is your boyfriend's first cousin," said Chris. "Therefore, you're related. In any case, Striking Vipers win. Alice, you don't have to admit to being in a nuthouse."

"You like spilling our secrets too much," said Alice.

"It's great for ratings," replied Chris. "Actually, that might not be a good thing for this episode, what with Wallace's little outburst."

"Don't worry," said Alice. "The producers just won't pay you for this week, but otherwise you'll be fine."

"FINE!?" yelled Chris. "How is that fine? I need my unnecessarily huge salary for expensive crap that normal people can't afford. I'll see your team at the elimination ceremony for that." At that, Chris stormed off stage.

"I thought he already was going to see us," said Zidane, confused.

Shortly after the challenge, Finn was practicing with his sword on the beach. Light approached him, but stopped a safe distance away. "Hey Finn," he called, watching with caution. Finn ignored him and continued training. Light called his name louder, but still Finn ignored him.

As Light was about to say his name a third time, Finn stopped and finally faced him. "What?!" he demanded angrily. "Are you here to manipulate me again?"

"Finn, please," said Light. "What happened to Haruhi was an honest mistake. Really, I didn't know her that well. I only had your team's best interests at heart."

"Really?" asked Finn, seeming confused.

"How could I have known?" asked Light. "She was only here for one day. What else was I supposed to think?" At this, Light approached and extended his hand to Finn. "Friends?"

Finn hesitated, then took Light's hand. "Friends," said Finn.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Hook, line and sinker. Now, I still have one last victim to exploit. Oh Chris, thank you for coming up with today's challenge. In the meantime, I should try to convince the others to get rid of Katniss. She's pretty smart and tough, a worthy adversary. And if I can get rid of her before the rest of the team realises she's useful, she won't find out I'm playing these people for all they're worth."

**Confession Cam: Finn**

"I'm not really making up with Light. That guy is evil, I can tell. I just need to convince his team to get rid of him."

That night, a long shot of the campfire ceremony is shown. . .

**Confession Cam: Zidane**

"My vote's going to Draco. If he didn't interrupt Murtagh, we could have tied the round up and gone to the tie breaker. Plus, I get the feeling the girls hate me, and voting for one of them won't help me. Seriously, these girls need a bit of the Z-man."

**Confession Cam: Hit-Girl**

"I'm voting for that *beep* Draco. That *beep* cost us the *beep* challenge."

**Confession Cam: Draco**

"Light told me and a few the others that Katniss is to blame for our loss. She was the first to not admit to her secret, and that caused a snowball effect that made us lose. I'm going to tell father about this. You know, after I win the million."

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"If this were The Hunger Games, I'd have killed Draco by now. But it's not, so I'll do the next best thing. So long, daddy's boy."

Chris steps up to the podium. "Okay, Sharks. You've all cast your votes. Nine of the ten of you will receive a marshmallow. That means you're safe . . . for now. The one of you who does not receive a marshmallow will be taking the Blast of Shame from the cannon. And you will never be allowed to return . . . ever. The following campers are safe." Chris picked up a piece of paper and started reading names, tossing a marshmallow to each person as he said their name. "Light. Zidane. Carly. Murtagh. Hit-Girl. Alice. Rachel. Marty." Chris looked intently on Katniss and Draco. "Campers, I have one marshmallow left. That means one of you is going home. The final marshmallow goes to . . ." On these words, the two contestants began to look worried, with the camera switching between them several times. "Katniss." The last marshmallow landed on Katniss's lap, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"What?" demanded Draco. "You're voting me off? I'm going to . . ."

"Tell your father about this," replied the remaining Sharks, Chris and Chef in unison.

"You dare interrupt me?" demanded Draco. "I'll t . . ." At this point, Chef grabbed him and covered his mouth. Several people cheered as Chef loaded him into the cannon and blasted him away.

Meanwhile, from the shadows of the elimination ceremony, Finn sneaks off.

**Confession Cam: Finn**

"I couldn't get rid of Light this time. But at least I saved Katniss. Maybe Murtagh is right, maybe the only evil one is Light. I don't know for sure. But one way or another, Light is going down."

Meanwhile, in a studio, Chris is watching this on one of many screens. "I love this Light kid. He's caused so much chaos, and this is only episode three. Multiple Gemmy award winner, Chris McLean. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Anyway, who is Light's next victim? Will Finn get his revenge? And most importantly, are Draco and Haruhi still alive after taking the Blast of Shame into shark infested waters? Find out the answers to those first two questions right here, next time, on Total Drama All Stars."


	5. Food Fire Fight

Episode 4: Food Fire Fight

The scene opens on Chris standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Light, our little ratings puller, made another alliance with an enemy, this time it was Bart. Then we forced the campers to spill their most embarrassing secrets, some of which were quite disturbing . . . Ayane. Anyway, in the end the Giant Sharks lost, and Light's attempt to vote off Katniss failed, as did Finn's attempt to get rid of Light, with Draco taking a cannon ride home. Also, Light thinks Finn is his friend again, though Finn is hoping to beat Light." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "Who will betray who? Who will manipulate who? And more importantly, who will be eliminated in yet another suspenseful campfire ceremony? Find out right now, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro plays_

Light is waiting on the pier when Bart arrives. "Alright man, what's the deal? Why did you want to meet me here?"

"For a strategy talk, little man," said Light. "I may have found another weakness in your team to exploit, to make them tear each other apart and ignore your, shall we say, hellion antics."

"So . . . you don't need me anymore?" said Bart.

"No, that's not it at all," said Light. "I promised to take you to the final two, and I intend to."

"Then what is it?" asked Bart. "Is it the fact we've got girls on the team?"

"Yes and no," said Light. "It's one girl in particular, Kim."

"Oh yeah, the cheerleader chick," said Bart. "You think we need to get rid of her?"

"Not yet," said Light. "She might be of use to us."

"What use could a girl have to us?" asked Bart, growing impatient.

"You obviously weren't paying attention yesterday," said Light. "During that last challenge, she more or less admitted she had a crush on someone at camp." Light was grinning in a very evil manner at this point. "I need you to find out who that is."

"Me? Why not you?" asked Bart, outraged.

"Think about it: it'd be less suspicious for you to be seen around her a lot because you're on her team," said Light. "Now, this little piece of information will be vital for us, so get going and find it out."

Bart flashed a dirty look at him, but left obediently.

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"The million dollars better be worth the cootie shots I'm gonna need by the end of this. Doesn't Light understand how dangerous something like this is?"

Meanwhile, outside the cabins, Katniss was practicing her bow skills, when Finn approached her.

"Hey, uh, Katniss?" said Finn, trying to get her attention. "Can I talk to you?"

Katniss lowered her bow and turned to face him. "Yes, what is it Finn?" she asked.

"It's about Light," said Finn. "I think he's evil. I think he was why you were nearly eliminated last night." Katniss looked at him, stunned, but Finn continued. "I think he's trying to turn everyone against each other, while making himself look like a good guy. I think you guys need to get rid of him next elimination ceremony."

Katniss stared down at Finn, then nodded. "I agree, he is up to no good. The problem is, there are some people on my team who believe he'll only cause havoc to your team, which might make it difficult to get rid of him. I can probably get Murtagh to help, but after that I'm not sure."

"Thanks Katniss," said Finn, and he turned to leave.

"Attention campers," said Chris over the loudspeaker. "The next challenge will be in the mess hall in twenty minutes. And this time, you're less likely to die . . . we think."

Twenty minutes later, in the mess hall.

"Welcome campers to today's challenge," said Chris. "Today's challenge is . . . a food fight."

"Wow, really? You've run out of suicidal challenges already?" asked Wallace with high levels of sarcasm.

"Not in the slightest," said Chris. "We just had to get rid of some of Chef's expired cooking."

"I thought his food already was expired," said Carly.

"And by expired, we mean the completely rancid stuff that the racoons won't eat out of the dumpster," said Chris. "Try not to swallow it. Before we begin though, we need to do a weigh-in."

"I thought we weren't eating that crap," said Bart.

"We hope you won't, though if you do you'll probably immediately barf it up . . . as well as everything else in your digestive tract . . . and some stuff you haven't even eaten yet. Anyway, the purpose for the weigh-in is to find out the collective weight of your team. At the end, when you're all covered in who-knows-what, we'll weigh you again. The team who has the most of Chef's putrid . . . something . . . on them, loses, and will be sending someone home tonight. Giant Sharks, if you would." The nine members of the Giant Sharks stepped onto a giant pair of scales, and seconds later a reading popped up. "1,159 pounds. Alright. Now, Striking Vipers, if you would." The Striking Vipers did as their opponents had just done. "1,152 pounds. Okay, Chef, bring it out."

On cue, Chef emerged from the kitchen, wheeling a trough of something most vile. "Legally, I have to tell you not to get it on your skin. Now, dig in."

The contestants moved as close to the muck as they dared, which in some cases meant moving away from the horrid sludge. Chris and Chef (who had moved behind a protective screen) watched with disgust. "They're not doing anything," complained Chris.

"I told you they'd need hazmat suits to complete this challenge," said Chef.

"And I told you that I'm not that nice," said Chris. "But I do have a plan B."

Ten minutes later, Chris returned to see several very queasy campers, some of whom had thrown up. "Okay, since this is going nowhere at an increasingly slow pace, time to change the rules," said Chris. "You all get a nose peg."

"That's it?" asked Kim. "I doubt that would be enough to . . ."

"Alright, *beep* this, I'm sick of this *beep*," said Hit-Girl, snatching one of the nose pegs from Chris. As she fitted it over her nose, she grabbed the trough and flung it at the other contestants. Chris managed to dive out the door just in time, but everyone else got splattered.

"AHHH!" screamed Rachel. "It's like a thousand slushies to the face, but with nuclear runoff instead."

"Carrying the weight of the sky was less torturous than this," said Annabeth.

"Pretty sure I had a shoe on my left foot," said Wallace.

"Alright, that takes care of that then," said Chris, carefully wading into the room. "Let's reweigh and see who won . . . before that stuff finishes eating you. Giant Sharks." The Giant Sharks stepped onto the scales. "1,159 pounds," said Chris. "Wait, that's what you went on with."

"That's because this stuff is EATING US!" yelled Murtagh. "It's eating my sword."

"You can always get another one," said Chris.

"This sword is elf-made," said Murtagh. "And indestructible. The elf who made it swore never to make another one. And somehow, this stuff is burning through it."

"I just discovered that fire isn't the only thing to burn through my skin," said Alice.

"Okay, go wash it off then," said Chris. "Not sure if we can get away with nudity at this hour."

"Who's naked?" asked Carly, before looking down to see her pixelated chest. "Oh . . . STOP STARING, PERVERTS!" And with that, she ran out of there.

"Okay, so before we have something that could get us axed for that second week in a row, Striking Vipers step onto the scales," said Chris. Once they were on, he read the scales. "1,143 pounds . . . 9 pounds less than when you started. And the winner is, the Striking Vipers."

"Luckily I think most of that was clothes," said Wallace who, like his teammates, was covering up with the tattered remains of his clothes or (for some) just their hands.

"Yeah, you guys might wanna do something about that . . . quick," said Chris.

"No problem," said Ash. "I choose you, Totodile." On cue, Totodile popped out of its Pokéball. "Totodile, use Water Gun and wash this *beep* off us." Totodile opened its mouth and blasted both teams with a strong jet of water. When it stopped, everyone was free of the gunk.

"And now, on top of everything else, I'm freezing and wet," said Kevin.

"It was either this, or dissolve," said Sabriel.

"Giant Sharks, I'll see you at elimination tonight," said Chris.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"I want to try and get rid of Katniss again, though with Hit-Girl's anger I think I should be more worried about my safety than a good player. Decisions, decisions."

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"You are so outta here Light."

**Confession Cam: Murtagh**

"What Katniss said."

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"How did Murtagh know what I said?"

**Confession Cam: Murtagh**

"How did Katniss know what I said?"

**Confession Cam: Marty**

"Hit-Girl is too dangerous to keep around."

**Confession Cam: Hit-Girl**

"Those *beep* better be voting with me. Get the *beep* ouuta here Light".

At the elimination ceremony, Finn is hiding in the shadows once again while the Giant Sharks wait for Chris to start.

"Campers, there are eight marshmallows on this plate, but nine of you," said Chris. "That means that one of you is going home tonight. And you will never come back. Ever. The following people are safe." As Chris read each name, he threw the contestant a marshmallow. "Carly, Marty, Rachel, Katniss, Alice, Zidane and Murtagh. You are all safe. As for you two," as Chris said this, he faced Light and Hit-Girl. "One of you is taking the blast of shame and leaving here forever. And final marshmallow goes to . . ." The camera shows close-ups of a very nervous Light, an angry looking Hit-Girl, and Finn praying. "Light." The final marshmallow lands perfectly in Light's hand.

"WHAT?!" yells Finn, emerging from the shadows. "You're getting rid of her instead of HIM?! He's EVIL!"

"Honestly Finn, I was tempted to vote for Light," said Zidane. "But Hit-Girl is *beep* dangerous."

"YOU'RE ALL GONNA *beep* DIE FOR THI . . . ssss . . . zzz," screamed, then snored, Hit-Girl. At this point, she slumped over and revealed a tranquiliser dart in her neck.

"Thank you Ayane," called Chris.

"Shut the *beep* up Chris," said Ayane. "I brought those to take down Kasumi, and I only have four left now."

"I thought we established that she wasn't here?" said Chris.

"Oh no? Then what's this?" asked Ayane, producing several strands of red hair.

"Could be Kim's," said Chris.

"I know my own sister's hair," said Ayane. "I will find her." And with that, she left.

"Whatever. In the meantime, the rest of you are safe," said Chris. "For now. Chef, help me drag Hit-Girl's body to the cannon."

Chef appeared and slung Hit-Girl's limp body over his shoulder. "Won't be as much fun without the scream," said Chef.

"If you wanna wake her up, go ahead," said Chris. "I will be nowhere near when it happens though."

"Just sayin'," said Chef. As he said that, Hit-Girl started to move. "Better make this quick." Chef dropped her into the cannon and Chris quickly fired it. Hit-Girl went soaring over the horizon, to many contestants' relief. "Well, that went well," said Chris. "Wanna help me bribe the producers to keep us on air?"

"I'd be jobless if I didn't," said Chef, and the two left the pier.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Finn's trying to get rid of me? I should have suspected as much. Well, if he's gonna play with fire, he better prepare to be burned."

**Confession Cam: Finn**

"Mark my words Light: you're next . . . when your team loses again, that is."

Camera cuts to Chris in a studio. "Well, isn't this interesting," said Chris. "Who will win out of Light and Finn? Who will win out of Annabeth and Bart? And am I really hiding Kasumi on this Island? Find out the answer to all these questions and more sometime before the end of this season of Total Drama All Stars."


	6. Stairway to McLean's Heaven

Episode 5: Stairway to McLean's Heaven

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Light revealed he's planning to exploit Kim's secret crush against her to Bart, and agree to find out who he is. If it was any of the other contestants, I'd think about how nice that is. Meanwhile, Finn decided to ask Katniss to eliminate Light, continuing their intense rivalry. I'm taking bets on who will win out of them. It makes up for not getting paid last week. After a very messy and very naked food fight, the Giant Sharks lost their second challenge in a row and sent home Hit-Girl, much to Finn's disappointment." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "Who will try to get us axed this week? Who will get the axe this week? And . . ." At this point, Chris's phone goes off. He opened up the phone and read the text. "Hey, my new holiday house is ready. Will you get to see it? Find out this week, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays_

At the Striking Vipers cabin, Bart is hiding outside while Kim, Annabeth and Sabriel talk. As far as Bart was concerned, it was all just mindless babble, but he kept his ears open for the one topic Light wanted him to find out about.

"So Annabeth, why did you come here?" asked Sabriel.

"Me? Well, after Percy disappeared . . ."

"Hold up. Disappeared?" asked Kim.

"Blame Hera, she sent him to the other side of the country several months ago with no explanation to anyone," said Annabeth. "Anyway, me and a group of other demigods are soon going over there to collect him and another couple of demigods so we can save the world from Gaia. Lately, I've been getting impatient with Leo, the guy who's building the ship to get us there, so Chiron suggested I take some time off. I don't think either of us realised that this place was actually a reality show."

"So, you've been without Percy for several months now?" questioned Sabriel. Annabeth nodded. "Jeez, that's tough. I don't know what I'd do without Touchstone for that long."

"Touchstone?" asked Annabeth.

"The old prince of the kingdom who was imprisoned as a boat figurehead for several hundred years," said Sabriel. "Together we saved the world from an ancient evil monster sealed in a tomb."

"Me and Percy did that too," said Annabeth. "Kim, you save the world from freaky monsters too?"

"Nothing as powerful as you guys," said Kim. "The worst I've been against is some psycho chick with glowing hands. But Ron and I take her down every other week."

"Ron?" asked Annabeth. "Is he your . . ."

"Boyfriend?" finished Kim. "No. We've been friends like forever. Although . . ." Annabeth and Sabriel leaned in at this. "Don't tell anyone, but I kinda have a crush on someone at camp."

Bart's ears pricked up. This is what he'd been waiting for.

"Ooh, who is it?" asked Annabeth, sounding more like a schoolgirl than a powerful demigod.

"It's . . . Light," said Kim, clearly embarrassed.

Stunned silence followed. Finally, Sabriel broke the silence. "Light?" she asked. "That guy who manipulated Finn and got Haruhi eliminated?"

"I know, he's a bad guy," said Kim. "But he's also kinda cute."

"I agree that he's cute," said Annabeth. "But that's all the more reason that I hate him. The last cute guy I liked became a vessel for the Titan Lord and tried to destroy the world. Be careful of him."

"I agree, I get a bad feeling around that guy," said Sabriel. "He seems to be connected with death. I'm not sure how, but he is."

"I'm not gonna act on it," said Kim. "Just don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

"I promise," said Sabriel.

"Me too," said Annabeth.

"I don't," Bart said to himself. Quietly laughing to himself, he got out of there before they could notice him.

Meanwhile, on the beach . . .

"Alice?" Finn called.

Alice was just staring out at the sea, not moving, not even breathing. Finn moved closer, and suddenly she jumped. "Sorry, just looking into the future," she said. "So Finn, you want me to try and vote out Light?"

"Yeah, how did you . . ." started Finn.

"Know you were going to ask that?" finished Alice. "I see into the future based on the decisions you make. You decided you were going to ask me that, so I already knew you would."

"Oh, cool," said Finn. "So, will you help me?"

"I see you've already got Katniss and Murtagh to help you," continued Alice. "You have made good choices in asking them, and I will gladly help. However, I must warn you that Light is planning your elimination too."

"I'd guessed as much," said Finn. "I swear to you, by the end of the day, one of us will be gone."

In the bushes nearby, Light overheard the entire conversation.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"So, Finn's plotting my downfall huh? Bring it on. I beat L easy enough, I can beat Finn too."

"Campers," came Chris's voice over the loudspeaker. "Meet at the base of the cliff on the beach in an hour for today's challenge.

One hour later, on the beach . . .

"Campers, welcome to today's challenge," said Chris. "Behind me, you can see my new beach house." Sure enough, behind him was an enormous beach house, complete with a diamond banister on the front porch. "It has everything I want in it: an eight person hot tub, a miniature golf course, its own gym, a theatre, and a ten foot gold statue of me."

"And I assume we don't get to go anywhere near those things," said Wallace.

"Doing so will cause instant elimination," said Chris. "Your challenge is this: the contractors who built this place forgot to put in a staircase so I can actually get in there. You guys need to build one."

"Are you sure it's safe for unqualified, untrained kids to do that?" asked Kevin.

"No, it isn't," said Chris. "So that's why the contractors who screwed up will be forced to go up it first to test its stability, then those who aren't dead or comatose will work free of charge to build a good one. The team with the least dangerous death-trap wins. Any questions?" No-one spoke. "Okay, go."

"Alright guys, anyone here have any construction experience?" asked Rachel. No-one spoke. "Okay, anyone good with manual labour?"

"I have extremely high strength and stamina," said Alice.

"Same here," said Murtagh.

"And it takes a great deal of strength to survive multiple Hunger Games," said Katniss.

"Okay, that'll have to do," said Carly.

"Hey, I can do some of the strongman stuff too," said Zidane. "Especially if it keeps such pretty girls from straining themselves."

"Your help is appreciated, but please stop hitting on everything with two legs and a pair of boobs," said Alice. "Need I remind you that I can do worse things to you than Garnet?" Zidane was about to say something, but then Alice continued. "And I'm talking about painful things, not dirty things." Zidane shut up at this point. At this point, Light came walking up from somewhere, but no-one seemed to notice.

Meanwhile, the Striking Vipers were also discussing tactics . . . kinda.

"What do you mean, us girls don't need to do anything?" demanded Annabeth, glaring down at Bart.

"Well, you girls are hardly going to keep up with us strong guys," said Bart dismissively.

"I helped defeat the Titan Lord Kronos," said Annabeth. "Ayane won the third Dead or Alive Fighting Tournament. Kim is a crime fighting cheerleader. And Sabriel is a very accomplished magic user. I think the question is whether you can keep up with us."

"Whatever sister," said Bart. "Wallace, Ash, Finn, Kevin, what do you guys think we do?" Annabeth was fuming.

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"Hey, Light would want me to start the team fighting so that if we lose, I can offer my 'help' to one side. I figure making the most sexist comments possible and getting the guys on my side is the best thing I can do."

"Seriously Bart, we could use their help," said Finn. "Like Annabeth said, they'll probably be more use than you."

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"Okay, I don't want Finn on my side anyway. But the rest I can use."

"These girls aren't your typical teenagers," said Wallace. "They can stomp the crap out of you blindfolded."

"I've seen Rhydon that were less dangerous than these girls," said Ash.

"Ayane is a ninja," said Kevin. "End of discussion."

**Confession Cam: Bart**

*beep*

"Let's see if you still think I'm a poor defenceless girl when I do this," said Ayane as she swung around to smack him. Bart managed to duck, and Ayane's fist slammed into Finn's face. Finn flew through the window of Chris's beach house.

"Guys, we can't fight amongst ourselves," said Sabriel. "Look, the Giant Sharks are already half finished."

Sure enough, the Giant Sharks were working together beautifully despite their differences to co-ordinate a very stable and well-made staircase. The Striking Vipers, realising they were behind, quickly got to work.

About an hour later, both teams were neck and neck and about to finish their work. Annabeth, being an aspiring architect, knew exactly what to do and when, which sped the Striking Vipers progress significantly. Unfortunately, Bart had other plans.

Sneaking up on Ash, Bart grabbed one of Ash's Pokéballs. "Please be something heavy," whispered Bart. Bart threw the Pokéball, and out popped . . . Snorlax. Snorlax landed on the Viper's staircase and it immediately collapsed under its weight.

"SNORLAX?! What are you doing out of your Pokéball?" demanded Ash. "Return now." Snorlax returned to its Pokéball, but the damaged was done.

"AHH!" screamed Annabeth in frustration. "What in Hades was that Ash? Are you trying to sabotage us?"

"It wasn't me," said Ash.

"Didn't you say those Pokéballs don't open unless you throw them?" asked Bart, faking suspicion.

"Yeah, but . . ." started Ash, but then Chris came up.

"Time's up, campers," said Chris. "Let's see what you've got, Giant Sharks." The Giant Shark's staircase was made entirely of mahogany, incredibly sturdy, and to top it off, the banisters were etched with Chris's face. Chris looked at the staircase, and let out a few tears. "It's beautiful," he said, and blew his nose on a handkerchief Chef offered him. "It's not as much as I deserve, but it's close enough." Wiping away another tear, he turned his attention to the Striking Vipers. "Now, where's your staircase?" asked Chris, looking very confused at the pile of rubble.

"Ash wrecked it," said Bart, looking and sounding as disappointed as possible.

"It wasn't me," said Ash.

"Well, if you haven't even got a staircase to show, that means the Giant Sharks win," said Chris. "Striking Vipers, I'll see you at elimination."

Most of the Striking Vipers glared at Ash, with the exception of Ash himself, and Bart. He was quietly laughing to himself.

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"Releasing that tub of lard Ash had with him was just to get the rest of the team on my side again. Now we can get rid of Ash."

**Confession Cam: Ash**

"I know someone's behind Snorlax being released. But who? My gut feeling is that it was Bart, so I'm going with him."

**Confession Cam: Annabeth**

"You are so going down for what you did to my hard work Ash."

**Confession Cam: Wallace**

"I'm voting for Ash, because I don't want to invoke the wrath of Annabeth."

**Confession Cam: Kim**

"Ash, what the hell were you thinking?"

Later that night at the campfire ceremony . . .

"Campers," started Chris. "There are nine of you, but I only have eight marshmallows. Those of you who receive a marshmallow are safe . . . for now. For the one that doesn't, they will be going home via that cannon over there in the Blast of Shame. And you will not be coming back. Ever. The following contestants are safe." As Chris read each name, he threw them a marshmallow. "Kevin. Wallace. Bart. Annabeth. Sabriel. Ayane. Kim." The camera focused on Ash and Finn, the two contestants without a marshmallow. "Ash, Finn. One of you is going home tonight. The final marshmallow goes to . . ." For several seconds, the camera cut between a nervous looking Ash, and a confident looking Finn. "Ash." The marshmallow landed in Ash's hand.

"WHAT?!" was the outraged roar of several campers.

"I ordered that all of you vote for Ash for what he did to us," said Annabeth. "Why is Finn going home?"

"I can explain that," said Chris. "You see, even though Ash got eight votes against him, Finn broke the rules."

"No I didn't," said Finn.

"What did I say before the challenge?" asked Chris.

"That anyone who went near the stuff in your beach house was instant . . . oh," said Finn. "But wait. Ayane smacked me in there."

"Excuses, excuses," said Chris. "Chef, take him away."

Chef grabbed the protesting Finn and shoved him into the cannon. "Any last words?" asked Chef as he lit the fuse.

"Yeah, guys, watch out for . . ." started Finn, but before he could say the last word the cannon fired him over the horizon.

"I love my job," said Chef.

"Me too," said Chris.

Meanwhile, in the shadows of the campfire ceremony, Light was too shocked to move. His greatest nemesis in the show, gone. And he didn't even have to do much. He got up and left before the Striking Vipers noticed he was there.

"Wow, five episodes in and we've already lost a hero," said Chris in the studio. "What will Light do about Kim? What will Annabeth do about Ash? And did Finn do enough to stop Light? Find out in the coming weeks right here on Total Drama . . ."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Marty, barging into the studio. "Why didn't I get to do anything this episode?"

"Because the writer couldn't think of anything for you to do," said Chris. "Plus, Light's way more fun."

"*beep* you," said Marty, who then turned around and left.


	7. Total Drama All Stars Aftermath Part I

Episode 6: Total Drama All Stars Aftermath Part I

_Aftermath intro plays, with scenes featuring the eliminated contestants sliced in_

**Haruhi**

"Look, I'm not saying Light's a bad guy, but be careful. He might be trying to manipulate you".

**Draco**

"But mummy, I swear, the hippogriff ate the chandelier. How else would there be cookies in the basement?"

**Hit-Girl**

"Alright, *beep* this, I'm sick of this *beep*".

**Finn**

"I swear to you, by the end of the day, one of us will be gone".

_Intro finishes, and cuts to a stage with Geoff and Bridgette._

"What's up dudes?" said Geoff to the audience. "Welcome to the first episode of Total Drama Aftermath for this season, Total Drama All Stars. I'm Geoff."

"And I'm Bridgette," said Bridgette. "And we have got an awesome show lined up for you guys tonight. Not only have we got the four eliminated contestants, but we also have your favourite segments like That's Gonna Leave a Mark, and some never before seen footage."

"But first, we have to introduce you to our rotating Peanut Gallery, featuring contestants from the first four seasons of Total Drama," said Geoff.

"That's right Geoff. Each Aftermath episode this season will have nine of your favourite, and not so favourite, contestants from Total Drama Island, Action, World Tour, and Revenge of the Island," said Bridgette. "Let's bring them out shall we? Tonight's Peanut Gallery includes: Alejerkdro". People began cheering as Alejandro, still in the Drama Machine, walks onstage, shoots the robot equivalent of a glare at Bridgette, and sits down.

"Anne Maria," said Geoff. Anne Maria walks onstage, spraying a lot of hairspray into her hair, before realising the bottle she's using has run out. Immediately she tosses the old one away and grabs a new bottle from . . . somewhere, and continues spraying as she sits down.

"Dakotazoid," said Bridgette. A large orange monster walks onstage and takes her seat in the Peanut Gallery.

"Eva," said Geoff. Eva walks onstage with a dumbbell in each hand. Before sitting down, she throws both at an intern, who is promptly knocked over.

"Harold," said Bridgette. Harold walks onstage while picking his nose, and takes his seat next to Anne Maria. She immediately moves away.

"Heather," said Geoff. Heather walks onstage and takes her seat next to Alejandro, who she immediately gets cosy with.

"Izzy, or E-Scope, or Explosivo, or Brainzilla, or whatever she's calling herself now," said Bridgette. Izzy swings in from a cord above the stage, and lands on the intern Eva just hit, who was starting to get up. She then takes her seat, ignoring the injured intern.

"Lightning," said Geoff. Lightning runs out onstage with a football under his arm, which he tosses to Geoff. Geoff catches it, and throws it back to him.

"And finally, Mike," said Bridgette. Mike walks onstage and takes his seat. Anne Maria immediately tries to get his shirt off.

"Whoa, whoa, hey, Anne Maria, settle down," said Geoff. "Vito's gone now. Leave poor Mike alone."

"I know he's in there somewhere," said Anne Maria. "Vito baby, can you hear me?"

"Hey, c'mon Anne Maria," said Mike. "This is getting kind of . . ." At this point, Mike took a deep breath, and suddenly wasn't Mike anymore.

"Darn it woman," said Chester. "Back in my day, we didn't try to strip the elderly, especially not on national TV."

"Actually, Mi . . . err, Chester," said Harold. "Total Drama is played around the world."

"Did they even have TV in your day?" asked Heather.

"Damn it Chester," said Anne Maria, frustrated. "Bring out Vito."

Just then, Chester breathed in deeply, and Mike came back. "What the heck? Where was I?"

"You did that thing that makes me look sane," said Izzy. "E-Scope and Brainzilla don't like that, and Explosivo is indifferent about it. You're lucky Izzy's out right now."

"Err, thanks?" said Mike, not sure what to make of that.

"If you guys are done there," said Geoff. "It's time to bring out our first guest."

"That's right Geoff," said Bridgette. "She was eliminated third for being 'too freaking dangerous', and frequently said several words that no eleven year old should know. Please welcome, Hit-Girl."

Hit-Girl walked onto the stage. The intern who earlier was injured by Eva and Izzy saw her, and immediately started running away. Hit-Girl picked up a nearby sandbag, and threw it at him. Offstage, a soft thud is heard.

"Ooh, I think his earlier concussion has just turned into permanent brain damage," said Geoff.

"Who *beep* cares?" said Hit-Girl. "Aren't you meant to be asking me some *beep* questions?"

"Err, yeah," said Bridgette. "Could you try to tone down the swearing a little? We're a family show."

"What *beep* swearing?" demanded Hit-Girl. "And what sort of *beep* question was that?"

"We're just asking you to stop swearing," said Geoff. "You know, that list of words our producer gave you before the show?"

"You think I really give a *beep*?" demanded Hit-Girl.

"Okay," said Bridgette, trying to keep it professional. "How did it feel to be kicked out so early?"

"What the *beep* do you think?" said Hit-Girl. "No, seriously, were you kicked out early in season two AND three weren't you *beep*?"

"HEY! No-one talks to my girlfriend like that," said Geoff, standing up and striding towards Hit-Girl.

"Oh yeah? Whatcha gonna do about it *beep*?" demanded Hit-Girl, who didn't even get up.

"Geoff," whispered Bridgette. "As much as I appreciate you standing up for me, I would rather you not get decapitated by a little girl in the process."

Geoff glared at Hit-Girl in rage, but suppressed it as best he could. "Well . . ." said Geoff, at a loss for words for a moment. "I guess we should go to Truth or Izzy."

_An animation of the words Truth or Izzy plays, with an animated Izzy kicking the letters and scattering them._

"Okay, here's how it works," said Geoff. "Our resident psychopath Izzy is going to watch your reaction to our questions, and if she judges that you're lying, she'll attack."

"Watch out, I like aiming for the face," said Izzy.

"I'm not sure this is a much better idea," whispered Bridgette to Geoff.

"For who?" asked Geoff.

"I'm not sure yet," said Bridgette.

"Quit your *beep* whispering," said Hit-Girl.

"Okay, so Hit-Girl," began Geoff. "How did it feel to be eliminated?"

"How do you think it felt to get *beep* eliminated?" demanded Hit-Girl. "It was *beep* annoying, especially since I was better than all of them combined."

"Amen sister," said Eva.

"Thank you Eva," said Hit-Girl. This gained a gasp from everyone. "What?"

"You just spoke without swearing," said Geoff.

"So *beep* what?" asked Hit-Girl.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," said Geoff.

"Aren't you *beep* meant to be asking me some *beep* questions?" demanded Hit-Girl.

"Okay, okay," said Bridgette. "So, who do you think is gonna win?"

"Light, since he actually seems to know what he's *beep* doing," said Hit-Girl.

"And finally, did you think any of the boys on the show were cute?" asked Geoff.

For once, Hit-Girl looked taken back, before she glared at Geoff with even more hatred. "No, you stupid . . ." Before she could finish the sentence, Izzy suddenly appeared from out of nowhere, kicking Hit-Girl in the face. Hit-Girl went flying through the air and off the stage.

"Woo, that was fun," said Izzy. "She was all like 'I'm gonna rip your organs out', and I was all like 'HIYA', and she was all like . . ."

"Izzy, your missing something very important here," said Geoff. "Hit-Girl has a crush on someone on the competition." A resounding 'aww' rose from the audience.

"Really?" asked Izzy, sounding genuinely surprised.

"That is why you attacked right?" asked Bridgette.

"Nah, I was just bored," said Izzy. "Plus I didn't think she'd expect it while she was embarrassed."

"Wait, but that must mean . . ." started Bridgette.

"Well, we probably aren't gonna get a clear answer outta her right now," said Geoff. "Actually, we probably wouldn't get one while she's conscience either."

"Well, now she won't get to hear from home with a question from Dave," said Bridgette. As she said this, the camera zoomed out from Geoff and Bridgette, revealing that Dave, in Kick-Ass costume, was on a giant screen above the stage.

Dave stared down at the sight before him in complete shock before replying. "I have seen Hit-Girl brutally slaughter a dozen and more gang members in ways that Chris couldn't imagine," said Dave. "But I have never seen Hit-Girl brought down in a single blow. Izzy, if I were you, I'd run. Now. Get the *beep* out of there."

"Puh-lease," said Izzy. "If the RCMP can't catch me, what chance does an eleven year old girl have?"

"Well, you've been warned," said Dave, and the video disconnected.

"And, with Hit-Girl's blow to the head fresh in our minds, it's time for That's Gonna Leave a Mark," said Geoff.

_An animation plays for That's Gonna Leave a Mark, then some clips start playing._

A clip of Ayane struggling against the intern from episode 1 starts playing. Suddenly, she flips him over her shoulder and kicks him down the pier. He slides straight into Chris, and they both fall off the pier.

A viper from episode 2 (evidentially male) sees Zidane's tail, and mistakes it for a female. Immediately, it bites him, causing Zidane to jump in surprise and pain.

Footage of Wallace in episode 3 getting hit after his little comment is shown. As he tries to get up, Rachel lands on top of him.

A shot from episode 4 of Hit-Girl flipping the trough of Chef's . . . stuff. The contents hit the contestants, and the trough itself hits an intern.

And in the final scene, a shot of Finn flying through Chris's window, crashing into the giant statue, and landing in the hot tub. The statue started wobbling, and when Finn resurfaced, the statue fell on top of him.

The scene returns to the studio. Over in the Peanut Gallery, Anne Maria was once again trying to grab Mike's shirt. "Come on Vito baby," said Anne Maria. "Mama needs some sugar."

"Seriously Anne Maria, knock it off," said Mike. He managed to escape her hands, and started running off stage. Soon, he notices the cord Izzy swung in from. "I wish I were more athletic, then I could easily climb this thing."

"Come back Vito," said Anne Maria, chasing after Mike.

Mike took a deep breath, and once again Mike was gone. "It's time for Svetlana to start training for Rio," said Svetlana, who grabbed the cord and started climbing before Anne Maria could catch up. Anne Maria watched him climb away, gave up the chase, and took her seat again.

Meanwhile, Geoff and Bridgette watched the chaos speechlessly. "Well, that explains why Finn was eliminated," said Bridgette, keeping it professional by pretending that didn't just happen. "What do you guys think, should we bring him out now?" The audience started cheering.

"He is the latest elimination from Total Drama this season, and also the cause of the first elimination for the season," said Geoff. "All the way from the Land of Ooo, please welcome Finn."

Finn walked on stage while many people cheered. Izzy took her seat again, and stared intently at Finn as he sat down.

"So Finn, how's it feel to be eliminated so early in the season?" asked Bridgette.

"It stinks," said Finn. "It was Ayane's fault I was eliminated. If she hadn't tried to hit Bart, I might have been able to stop Light for good."

"Yes, Light has certainly shown to be quite the villain," said Alejandro. "He seems to be playing the game the same way I did. I reckon he's got this show in the bag."

"WHAT?!" demanded Finn. "You're supporting the jerk after what he made me do? I met Haruhi backstage before. Do you know what that was like? Really awkward . . . even though she didn't seem to care about being eliminated."

"With all due respect, he didn't make you do anything," said Heather. "In fact, Haruhi, your teammate I might add, warned you he was evil. You just didn't listen."

Finn glared at her for a moment. "Whatever. At least I wasn't eliminated by Light."

"Ooh, funny you should mention that," said Geoff. "Because we have some never before seen footage that will shock and disturb you."

A TV screen drops down from the roof, and a video starts playing. It shows the contestants on the beach, with the teams trying to build their staircases. Light and Bart are seen hiding in a nearby dune. The camera zooms in on the two as Light starts talking to Bart.

"Hey Bart," said Light. "You hear that bit about instant elimination if you go near Chris's possessions?"

"Yeah?" inquired Bart.

"Do you think you can get Finn to fall for that?" asked Light.

"Can't we get rid of Annabeth?" asked Bart. "She's had it out for me since day one."

"If you can get rid of Finn, I'll help get rid of Annabeth," said Light. "Finn's trying to turn my team against me, so right now he's the biggest threat to us."

"What, and Annabeth getting rid of me isn't?" asked Bart.

"It is a problem, but she's not campaigning as actively for your elimination," said Light. "Now, are you with me or not?"

"Fine, why not?" said Bart. "And, in case we have to vote off someone else, I think I'll get rid of that Ash kid."

"Good thinking," said Light. "Maybe try and sabotage him in some way to make sure you can get rid of him." Bart flashed Light a thumbs up before they returned to their respective teams.

"WHAT?!" yelled Finn again. "Light's manipulating Bart now?"

"Dude, did you miss the part about him telling Bart to get you eliminated?" asked Geoff. "Bart went all sexist on the girls of your team, enraging Ayane to try and hit him, he stood near you expecting the punch, which he dodged, and ended up knocking you into the beach house. Don't you think it's because Light told him to do that?"

"When I get my hands on him . . ." growled Finn.

"Well, before that, let's hear from home shall we?" said Bridgette. The TV cut to a live connection with Jake.

"Yo dude, what's up?" said Finn and Jake at the same time to each other.

"Yo man, sucks what happened there," said Jake.

"Yeah, well, somehow I'll stop him," said Finn. "Hopefully Katniss, Murtagh and Alice can do something. But enough about me. What's happening at home?"

"Same old, same old," said Jake. "Ice King tried to kidnap Princess Bubblegum a few times, but he's lame so it wasn't really a challenge to stop him. The thing is, he kept saying something about 'practice makes perfect' or something whenever he did it."

"Weird," said Finn. "Well, I'll be home soon Jake. See you then."

"Seeya," said Jake, and the video disconnected.

"What with talking dog?" said Dakotazoid. "This not Family Dad."

"Umm, I think you mean . . ." started Geoff.

Before he could finish that, Svetlana fell from the roof, landed heavily on the stage. Svetlana took a deep breath, and went back to Mike. "Oh god, my chest is killing me," said Mike. "What just happened?"

"You fell from the roof," said Anne Maria. "You may have some broken ribs or something. Let me take a look Vi . . . err, Mike."

"Umm, no thanks Anne Maria," said Mike, again backing away. He continued to back away into the audience, where he accidentally collided with a man. A man wearing a fedora hat, I might add. The hat fell from the man's head, and landed on Mike's. For the third time that night, Mike was gone.

"Aww, crikey, what we got here," said Manitoba Smith. "Appears I'm being chased by that monster from Jersey Shore, except this thing's clearly female."

"Damn it Mike, give me Vito," said Anne Maria, chasing Manitoba out of the studio.

"O-kay" said Bridgette, again trying to pretend this isn't happening. "Time for our next guest. Eliminated second after he interrupted Murtagh, and always threatening to tell his father on you, please welcome Draco."

Draco walked onstage and took a seat next to Finn. "Why do all of you keep making me out to be a whiny daddy's boy?" demanded Draco. "Be warned: my father will hear about this."

"Whatever, daddy's boy," said Geoff. Draco glared at him. "So, voted off second. How does it feel?"

"How do you think?" demanded Draco. "Beaten by filthy bloody muggles. I doubt any of them could equal my greatness."

"Geoff, what's a muggle?" whispered Bridgette to Geoff.

"I don't know. Maybe we should beep it out before this goes to air," replied Geoff. "So Draco, you're a wizard. Can you show us a magic trick?"

"These spells are more than mere magic tricks," said Draco. "I can do anything from make an object levitate to kill someone."

"Okay . . ." said Bridgette. "Well, since we can't allow someone to die in this timeslot, I guess we'll have to settle for something levitating."

"Okay," said Draco, smirk on his face since he gets to show off his abilities. "WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!"

Lightning, who had until this moment been paying no attention to the show, started to float. "What is this?" said Lightning, clearly startled. "Lightning ain't flapping his arms. Why is Lightning flying?"

"Better question," said Alejandro. "Why do you refer to yourself in the third person?"

"Because Lightning is so great, Lightning gets to be three people," replied Lightning.

"That doesn't make any sense," said Harold.

"Who cares? Put Lightning down," demanded Lightning. Draco shrugged his shoulders and ended the spell. Lightning came down to earth with a crash.

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt," said Geoff. "While our medical staff check on Lightning, here's a call from home for Draco." The TV screen flickered to life, and on the screen was Draco's father Lucius.

"Father," cried Draco. "You wouldn't believe what these filthy . . ."

"Stop Draco," said Lucius. "I can't believe you just let a bunch of muggles beat you."

"There's that word again," said Bridgette. "What is it?"

"But father," said Draco, ignoring her. "If I admitted to what I did . . ."

"You might still be in the game," said Lucius. "What you had to admit to was shameful, yes, but you were taunting Potter at the time. That makes it worth it. Now, get home as soon as you can. The Dark Lord wants a word with you."

"You mean . . ." started Draco.

"Yes," said Lucius. "He's already angry about your failure to kill Dumbledore. He's absolutely livid about this." The video then disconnected.

Draco gulped, then pulled a vial of green powder out of his robes. "Where's the nearest fireplace?" he asked, visibly shaken.

"Green room," said Bridgette. Draco left the stage. "Well, there's clearly some terrible family trouble there that we shouldn't have witnessed."

"Definitely," said Geoff. "Do you think we'll get the same thing from our final guest?"

"Let's find out," said Bridgette. "She was eliminated first for hiding her femininity, and the cause of this is sitting right . . . hey, where'd Finn go?" Sure enough, the couch was empty.

"Someone, go find him," said Geoff. "In the meantime, here's Haruhi."

Haruhi walked onstage and sat down on the couch. "Hey guys, great to be here," she said.

"Really? Even though you were eliminated first?" asked Bridgette.

"Weren't you and Geoff eliminated first in season 2?" asked Haruhi right back. A collective 'ooh' came from the audience. "Besides, I'd rather be out here than that green room right now. A couple of people ran in there, a guy and a girl, and the girl ripped the guy's shirt off and suddenly he became some kind of gangster or something. Then they just started making out, completely ignoring me. They didn't even notice Draco run in and disappear in green smoke."

Bridgette and Geoff looked at each other, knowing what was happening. "Harold, Dakotazoid, get Mike's shirt back on," said Bridgette. The two of them immediately ran backstage.

"Now, in answer to your question Haruhi, yeah, but then we got a sweet TV gig out of it," said Geoff. "But Haruhi, when we were talking to Finn, he said you didn't care you were eliminated first. Is that true?"

"Honestly, yeah," said Haruhi. "I mean, it would have been good to pay off that vase, but I'm not exactly unhappy with being a host either."

"C'mon, it was one million dollars," said Geoff. "That's like . . . a huge amount of yen."

"Well, I don't blame Finn for what happened," said Haruhi. "Light is a manipulative jerk. And hopefully the Giant Sharks realise this soon, and vote him off."

"Well, funny you should mention Light," said Bridgette. "Because our guest from home has a little something to say about him."

The TV screen flickered to life again, and finally Tamaki appeared. "My precious little Haruhi," he called down to her. "Don't worry, daddy's taken care of everything."

"Tamaki sempai, what the hell have you done?" said Haruhi, already on edge about whatever Tamaki had planned.

"I have organised Kyoya's family's secret police force to take down that Light guy," said Tamaki. "They will soon be arriving at Camp Wawanakwa and will beat him into submission."

"That's great sempai, but how will that help me now? I'm already eliminated," asked Haruhi.

"It will teach him to not mess with the Ouran Host Club," said Tamaki. "I'll see you back at the host club soon dear." The video disconnected.

"Ooh, sounds like someone has a crush on you," said Bridgette.

"Good grief," sighed Haruhi.

"Ooh, before we go, someone's caught Finn," said Geoff. "Bring him out boys."

Two large interns walked onstage, dragging a protesting Finn behind them. "Let me go," yelled Finn. "I can't face her again. Especially not onstage."

"For the last time Finn, I'm not angry with you," said Haruhi.

Finn suddenly seemed to notice that Haruhi was right behind him. "Oh, err, hi Haruhi," said Finn. "You, ahh, you good?"

"Good grief," sighed Haruhi again, before walking offstage. Geoff and Bridgette were visibly disappointed by the climax of this encounter.

"Well, that's all we have time for today," said Geoff. "Stay tuned for next time, when we'll have the next batch of eliminated contestants from this season."

"And we'll have a new batch of your old favourites in the Peanut Gallery," said Bridgette. "We'll see you next time on Total Drama All Stars Aftermath."


	8. Eight Legged Freak

Episode 7: Eight Legged Freak (And This Time, It's Not Izzy)

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time, on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Bart discovered Kim has a crush on Light, because the series wasn't dramatic enough already. Finn recruited Alice to help remove Light from the show, a plan that doesn't seem to be working for him. The contestants competed to create a staircase into my new beach house, and after a little sabotage from Bart, Finn was sent home for breaking and entering, though Ash nearly took the fall." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "Will Light's reign of terror continue now that Finn's gone? Will Light make good on his promise to Bart? And . . ." At this point, a large helicopter flew fairly low overhead, landing in the middle of the camp. "What the hell is with the chopper? Find out, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays_

The scene returns with the helicopter landing near the cabins, and members of Kyoya's family's secret police force jump out. Kim comes out of one of the cabins yawning. "What's going on?" she asked. "Is Chris getting arrested for recklessly endangering lives?"

"Not yet," said one of them, clearly their leader. "We have been instructed to, and I quote, 'beat the living crap out of one Light Yagami, then beat the living crap out of the living crap previously beaten out of him.'"

"Is that so?" said Light, calmly approaching the dozen or so men secret police officers. "While I respect that you have your orders to follow, I feel we should discuss this matter in a more peaceful manner, don't you?"

"Our orders are quite clear," said the leader.

"But surely I can't be blamed for my lack of knowledge about Haruhi's habits," said Light. "I only knew her for a few hours. Besides, how did she feel about her elimination?"

"I . . . guess she wasn't disappointed by it," said the leader.

"How about when I'm done on this show, I call you and we can sit down and talk about our problems," said Light, pulling out a black notebook. "May I ask your name?"

"Err, okay . . ." said the leader. "My name is Samuel Maxwell, and my number is . . ." Samuel gave Light his number, which he wrote in the notebook.

"Okay, with that sorted, I guess I'll be seeing you gentlemen in the near future," said Light. "Until we meet again, farewell."

"Farewell, Mr Yagami," said Samuel, leading his men back into the helicopter, looking somewhat confused. As they took off, Kim looked admiringly at Light, before leaving.

**Confession Cam: Kim**

"Wow. I mean, even faced with a beat down from a dozen large men, Light is such a gentleman. He's so civilised. That just made him totally hotter."

**Confession Cam: Light**

Light holds up the page of the notebook he just wrote in. It reads 'Samuel Maxwell orders his men to get back in the helicopter, and on their way back home the helicopter has engine troubles and crashes into the ocean. No survivors.' "What was that? Yes Ryuk, I know it's cheating, but since when have I been playing this game fairly?"

**Confession Cam: Sabriel**

"I felt a great disturbance in Death, as if a dozen voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

Meanwhile, near the woods . . .

"Guys, what are we going to do about Light?" asked Katniss.

"Simple. We eliminate him at the next opportunity," said Alice.

"Do we have the support to do that?" asked Murtagh.

"We should," said Alice. "There's eight members left on our team. We have agreed to work together, so that's three votes right there. Light won't vote for himself, so that's four members accounted for."

"Do you know how the rest of them will vote?" asked Katniss.

"If Katniss or I ask Zidane, he'll join without question," said Alice. "He'll join if Murtagh asks, but he'll want an explanation. I know he's a bit of a creep, but he's a good guy at heart. Marty and Carly will only help if Light moves against them, and Rachel will only help if there's something in it for her."

"So, as far as numbers go, we should be able to remove him," said Murtagh. "I hesitate to bring this up, but would either of you consider losing the next challenge on purpose to get rid of him?"

"WHAT?! NO!" yelled Katniss. She moved to attack Murtagh, but Alice held her back.

"Katniss is right," said Alice. "Light needs to go, but if we deliberately lose a challenge, Light is likely to pick up on it. He's a very smart guy, as much as I hate to admit it. He'll use that as a reason to remove one of us, something we can't afford if we are to get rid of him."

"Yes, I guess you're right," said Murtagh. "Sorry I brought it up Katniss. I just thought it might be a viable option."

"It's okay Murtagh," said Katniss. "I just don't want to risk saying something that can be used against us. I wouldn't rule out that Light has some way of learning this sort of information."

As luck would have it, Bart was listened eagerly in the bushes as the three Sharks disbanded.

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"Now this is a scoop. Murtagh is considering tanking so his team can get rid of Light. Light will know how to use that against him. And even better, I don't think Alice suspects that I was spying on them because she doesn't know about our alliance. I think we're in the clear."

"Campers, meet me outside the cabins for today's challenge," said Chris. "And you may want to arm yourself for this one."

"What fresh hell is this?" said Wallace, rolling out of bed to assemble with the other campers.

A few minutes later, outside the cabins . . .

"Campers, today's challenge is going to be a dangerous one," said Chris.

"So, it's an average day then?" asked Marty.

"Pretty much," said Chris. "Anyway, your challenge today is to kill a giant spider that's been running around camp."

"Are you sure?" asked Rachel. "Because, in preparation for this show, I watched every episode of the first four seasons, and the giant spider turned out to be Izzy."

"Yeah, that's what we thought too," said Chris. "But, the spider was last sighted last night, which is also the night that Total Drama All Stars Aftermath went to air live. Since Izzy was there, that means we must have an actual giant spider running around camp. And it's probably poisonous, so, yeah, you'll have to deal with that too."

Unnoticed to everyone, from the moment Chris said 'spider', Annabeth had practically frozen up with fear.

"Okay, so by 'giant'," started Carly. "Do you mean large by spider standards and would still be killed by a shoe, or really freaking huge?"

"I mean really freaking huge," confirmed Chris. "I think it might have eaten a few interns. So, if you guys find them while it's digesting you, tell them they're fired. We believe it might be hiding somewhere in the scary looking woods, so it really does know how to freak you out. Well, good luck!"

The two teams immediately scrambled into the woods, though Annabeth was well behind the others.

"Okay guys, a giant spider will likely have a giant web, so if you become entangled in something, scream," said Zidane. "I'll be there as soon as possible ladies. No need to worry about a thing."

"Great to know," said Rachel. "Except we've already lost Carly." Sure enough, the entire team minus Carly was there.

"Maybe she got lost?" said Marty, but no-one from the group seemed confident about this.

Meanwhile, with the Striking Vipers, Annabeth was at the back of the group, holding her knife as tightly as possible. Despite the warm day, she was shaking like a leaf. Kim noticed this and slowed her pace a bit. "Hey, Annabeth," said Kim, putting one hand comfortingly on her shoulder. Annabeth, who wasn't looking at Kim at the time, and hadn't actually heard her speak, spun around swinging the bronze blade quite fast. "Whoa, easy there, it's just me," said Kim.

"Oh, sorry Kim," said Annabeth. "I'm just really on edge for this challenge."

"Why?" asked Kim. "You're not afraid of spiders are you?" Annabeth didn't reply, but the look on her face said everything. "Oh my God, you ARE afraid of spiders."

"Shh, not so loud," said Annabeth. "Yes, I'm afraid of spiders. It's a fear all children of Athena share. But please, for the love of the gods, do NOT tell anyone, or I'll tell everyone about your little crush on Light."

"Kim has a crush on Light?" said Kevin, who had also hung back and overheard their conversation without their knowledge.

The entire team looked at Kim in shock, except Sabriel and Bart (though Bart was faking astonishment).

"How could you Kim," demanded Ayane. "That *beep* is a sly, manipulative, arrogant . . ."

"Easy there Ayane," said Wallace. "As long as Kim doesn't act on it, and as long as Light doesn't find out about it to exploit it, there shouldn't be a problem. And can you really blame her? I mean, he is pretty cute."

The entire team gave Wallace a strange look at this point. "Umm, you ARE a guy right?" asked Kevin.

"Yeah, so?" asked Wallace.

"Alright, well, I'm not one to judge," said Sabriel. "Also, I think I should point out that Ash and Bart have disappeared." Sure enough, the Vipers suddenly noticed they were missing two of their players.

"*beep*, the spider got them," said Annabeth.

"You can't possibly know that," said Wallace.

"Actually, she can," said Kim, pointing up. The team looked up, and above them was a giant spider with three bodies wrapped up in its web.

"Apparently it got one of the Giant Sharks too," said Ayane, drawing Genra's sword. Beside her, Kim and Sabriel also prepared to take on the spider.

Sabriel drew Saraneth the Binder, but before she could sound it, the spider shot a web and bound her hand up, silencing any sound the bell could make. Kim drew her grappling-hook-hairdryer, and fired it at a branch behind the spider. As she was pulling herself up, Ayane quickly climbed the tree and swung her blade at the spider. The spider managed to dodge, and in the same movement sunk its poisonous fangs into her. Ayane, being a strong ninja, knew she'd survive the poison easily, but that didn't stop her falling from the tree, knocking her out. The spider turned on Kim, who was trying to free Ash. By the time she realised what had happened to Ayane, she was bound in web herself. Seeing no more threats in the tree, the spider dropped to the ground.

Sabriel had just managed to free her hand when the spider landed on top of her. It quickly bound her entirely before she could do anything, and then shot its web and Kevin and Wallace, binding them to a tree. There was only one member of the Striking Vipers still standing: Annabeth, the only one with arachnophobia. Ironic, no?

"Quick Annabeth, kill it," called Kevin. "It's only a foot in front of you. Kill it. NOW!"

But Annabeth was frozen in fear. Well, frozen until she curled up in the foetal position and cried.

"Don't worry Vipers, help has arrived," called a voice. Everyone who could still move turned around, and saw Zidane, Alice, Katniss and Murtagh emerge from the woods. "Don't worry Annabeth, the Z-man has arrived."

"She's already got a boyfriend, Zidane," said Alice. "Even if he has been M. I. A. for months, they're still together." Turning back to the spider, she continued. "I'll free the hostages. You guys think you can take this thing?"

Murtagh drew his sword, Katniss her bow, and Zidane his daggers. "No problem," said Katniss. As she said this, the screen suddenly blurred. This was followed by several scenic shots of the landscape. The scene returned with the spider making a sort of growling sound, and the three fighters standing in a horizontal line in front of it, though Katniss was slightly further back than the other two. All three were sort of swaying on the spot.

"What the hell is this?" asked Murtagh. "I can't move forward and attack this thing."

"That's because your ATB gauge hasn't charged yet," said Zidane.

"My what?" asked Murtagh.

"Ooh, my turn," said Zidane, ignoring Murtagh's question. Zidane jumped forward and swung his hand out. As he jumped back, a text box popped up saying 'Stole Antidote'.

"Seriously, what the *beep* is going on here?" demanded Katniss. "Why am I further back than you guys?"

"You're in the back row," said Zidane like it was no big deal. "That's where archers normally go. Speaking of go, you can attack now."

Katniss stared at him like he was insane, but then just shrugged and fired an arrow at the spider. The thing recoiled in pain, but was still standing. The number 363 appeared above its head. "Zidane, would you care to explain any of this?" asked Katniss.

"You did 363 damage to it," said Zidane. Katniss and Murtagh wanted to stop asking questions for the rest of the battle, but the obscurity of the situation prevented that.

The spider suddenly leapt forward and bit Murtagh. He recoiled, but didn't seem particularly injured. The number 153 appeared above his head. Murtagh then jumped up and slashed the spider. Like with Katniss, it recoiled but stayed up, and the number 858 appeared above its head.

It was Zidane's turn again, and again he swung he hand forward. This time, the box said 'Couldn't steal anything'.

"Dammit Zidane, stop trying to rob it and start trying to kill it," said Murtagh.

"But something this strong must have some really good items," said Zidane.

"Can't you steal from it once we've killed it?" asked Katniss, firing an arrow and dealing another 253 damage to it.

"It hasn't worked before," said Zidane. "Normally the enemy disappears once it's dead." As he said this, the spider bit him, dealing 98 to him. Zidane suddenly started to glow pink.

"Should we even ask?" Murtagh asked Katniss as he attacked the spider, dealing 747 damage to it.

"Nah, I've kinda tuned out of what's going on," said Katniss.

"Alright, Trance mode," said Zidane, ignoring them. "Let's end this. TIDAL FLAME!" Suddenly, a tidal wave made of fire rose from Zidane, engulfing the spider and causing 1958 damage to it. The spider shrieked, then fell over dead before disappearing. A blast of cheery music seemed to play from somewhere as the trio celebrated their victory.

"What was that sound?" asked Katniss.

"I don't know," said Zidane. "It always seems to play whenever I win a fight."

"Congratulation Giant Sharks," said Chris, seeming to come out of nowhere the second the challenge finished. "You've beaten the spider, and will not be sending someone home. Vipers, you are today's losers. You must decide who to get rid of. See you at elimination." As he left, the Striking Vipers looked around themselves (if they were conscious), deciding who to get rid of.

**Confession Cam: Ayane**

"I'm voting for Kim. Seriously, of all the guys in this contest to get a crush on, why Light? He's a proven villain, and she's meant to be a crime fighter. I am not cool with people selling out their morals."

**Confession Cam: Annabeth**

"I still want Bart gone."

**Confession Cam: Kevin**

"Annabeth could have stuck her knife into that spider's brain and killed it. Instead, she curls up and cries like a little girl. I'm voting for her."

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"After what Annabeth did, I like my odds of getting rid of her. Seeya."

At the elimination ceremony that evening. . .

"Okay campers," said Chris. "There are eight of you here, but only seven marshmallows. Those of you who receive a marshmallow will be safe . . . for now. That leaves one of you a loser, who will take the Blast of Shame and will never be allowed to return. Ever. The following campers are safe." As Chris read each of these names, he threw them a marshmallow. "Kevin. Wallace. Bart. Ash. Sabriel. Ayane." Chris looked at Kim and Annabeth, the two remaining campers. "Campers, there is only one marshmallow left on this plate. One of the two of you is going home. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera jumped between the two nervous looking girls for several seconds. "Kim." The final marshmallow landed softly in Kim's hand. Bart fist-pumped the air.

"Are you *beep* me?" demanded Annabeth. "Bart's a freaking nuisance, and you're getting rid of me?"

"You should have thought about that before you basically threw the challenge for us," said Wallace.

"Guys, please, you have to get rid of Bart next. I think he's . . ." But before Annabeth could finish what she was saying, Chef had covered her mouth, dragged her to the cannon, and fired her out.

"I need to have a word to Chris about getting a bigger role this season," he said, before strolling off-screen.

Meanwhile in a studio, Chris was watching several monitors. "Hmm, I'll think about it.," said Chris. "Will the Striking Vipers heed Annabeth's warning? Will Light and Kim get together? And what's this I hear about a helicopter crash near the Island? Find out the answers to all these questions next time or soon, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	9. Capture The Rag

Episode 8: Capture the Rag

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Light condemned a dozen innocent people to their deaths, and still managed to make Kim like him more. Alice, Katniss and Murtagh conspired to get rid of Light, while Bart eavesdropped and got a juicy piece of gossip out of it. Then it was challenge time: killing a giant spider that's been taking our interns. I know they're worthless, but it's still a pain to replace them. Kim looked like being eliminated when it came out that she was crushing on Light, but when Annabeth refused to win the challenge, she took the Blast of Shame home." The scene cuts back to Chris on the pier. "Will the Striking Vipers break their losing streak? If so, will the Giant Sharks get rid of Light? And if so, will our ratings plummet? Find out the answer to these questions all at the same time, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays_

Sabriel crept up to the Giant Sharks cabin, and peered into the window. Seeing it was empty, she snuck in.

**Confession Cam: Sabriel**

"Okay, so whenever I'm around Light, I get this feeling I only really get when I'm around Dead things, except it's a thousand times stronger. I don't know what he's hiding, but I know it's something sinister, and I'm sure as hell going to find out what it is."

Guided by her sixth sense, Sabriel made her way to Light's bunk. She began rummaging through Light's stuff, the feeling constantly getting stronger. Finally, she found a black notebook, and the feeling was so strong that strong was too mild a word for it. Picking up the notebook, she saw the words "Death Note" on the front. "That's odd," said Sabriel. "Just because it has the word Death on the cover, that shouldn't be attracting me to it."

"Did you consider that this might not be a normal notebook?" said a voice right behind her. Sabriel turned instantly to see a hideous looking monster floating right behind her.

"Who, or what, the *beep* are you?" asked Sabriel, somewhat calmed down by the fact that it wasn't Light.

"Nice to meet you too little Abhorsen," said the monster. "I'm Ryuk, a Shinigami, a God of Death. And by touching that notebook, you can now see me. Which is fine by me, because Light has pretty much ignored me the whole time we've been here. I finally have someone else I can talk to."

"God of Death?" queried Sabriel. "I didn't know such a thing existed."

"If you must know, I live beyond the Ninth Precinct," said Ryuk. "At least, that's what you'd call it. And because I'm a god, I can travel between the living and dead worlds. I'm also unaffected by the bells." This last part was added as Sabriel was reaching for Ranna, the Sleeper.

"Oh, I see, well that's HA!" yelled Sabriel as she drew her sword and slashed at Ryuk. She rarely used her sword, so she didn't know much about swordsmanship. However, she was pretty sure that when you hit something (which she knew she did), they were meant to get sliced in half. Ryuk just kept floating there, unfazed.

"What part of 'god' don't you understand?" asked Ryuk. "Let me put your mind at ease: I have no intention to harm you or any of the other contestants. My presence here is just because of that Death Note. I also find Light's strategies entertaining. I especially want to see what happens now." Ryuk then moved out of Sabriel's way, revealing Light in the doorway.

"So, is rummaging through your opponent's stuff normal for you?" asked Light.

"Can the chit-chat, murderer," said Sabriel. "I know what you did to those guys in the helicopter."

"What's your point?" asked Light, moving over to the end of his bunk. He reached under the bed and pulled out a video camera that Sabriel hadn't noticed. "I have you going through my stuff on tape. I guessed that sooner or later you would, since you have a strong sense of Death. Since we're the only two people on the Island who can see Ryuk, when your team see you 'stealing' my stuff, before you start talking to yourself like you were busted . . . well, let's just say Alice might be able to recommend a good mental institute for you."

Sabriel hesitated before speaking again. "Are you blackmailing me?" she asked.

"Well, I wouldn't put it that bluntly, but yes," said Light. "I prefer to think of it as 'I didn't see anything if you didn't'. The fact is if you say a word about this, I leak the video. Deal?" Light held out his hand to shake with Sabriel.

Sabriel hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Okay," she said, though her instincts told her this was a huge mistake.

"Campers, your next challenge begins in two hours," said Chris over the PA system. "We're just trying to think of ways to make it more dangerous. Meet outside the mess hall then."

"Let's hope they can't think of anything," said Rachel.

"Or if they do, they don't, or better yet can't, implement them," said Carly.

Two hours later, outside the mess hall . . .

"Welcome campers to today's challenge," said Chris. "Sadly, though we did think of ways to make the challenge more dangerous, we couldn't implement them in time."

"Good call," whispered Rachel to Carly.

"Today's challenge is called 'Capture the Rag'," said Chris, holding two coloured rags.

"So this show is now so poor we can't afford actual flags?" asked Wallace.

"Hey, my salary takes up 98% of the show's budget," said Chris. "I don't know how anyone can live on less than that. Anyway, each of you takes your rag and hangs it somewhere in your designated area of the forest. Sharks, you get this side of the forest, Vipers the far side. You have fifteen minutes to . . . hey, where'd the Vipers' rag go?" Chris looked around confused, trying to find the red rag he'd been holding just moments ago.

"We won, we won," said Zidane, dancing around with the red rag over his head.

"Nice Zidane," said Marty, fist bumping him.

"Yeah, game hasn't started yet," said Chris, snatching it back. "As I was saying, you have fifteen minutes to set up and talk strategy. Time starts now." Chris handed the rags to members of each team before leaving. The Vipers immediately set off to the other side of the forest, while the Sharks walked the three yards to the edge of the forest.

"Okay guys, let's talk strategy," said Light. "I propose that . . ."

". . . Zidane leads an offense team since he's a thief and has the best chance of stealing the flag," said Alice. "Yeah, I was thinking that too."

"Umm, okay," said Light, at a loss for words for once. "Meanwhile, I think . . ."

". . . that I lead a defensive team because my future predicting abilities will let us know if someone's coming," said Alice. "Another good idea."

"I thought. . ." started Carly.

". . . Chris told me to stop finishing people's sentences?" finished Alice. "No, just his. Besides, it's so much fun."

"Well anyway," said Zidane. "Since I'm gonna be on offense, I've got a plan for it, but to pull it off I'm gonna need Murtagh, Carly and Rachel. Any objections?"

"Let's hear it first," said Katniss. "Though since you requested Murtagh instead of me, I'm somewhat inclined to believe this is an actual plan and not a flirting attempt."

"Okay, here it is," said Zidane.

Meanwhile, with the Striking Vipers . . .

"I choose you, Pikachu, Staraptor, Bayleef, Pignite, Squirtle and Glalie," called Ash, throwing the five Pokéballs to call forth his current team. "Staraptor, Bayleef, Squirtle, you guys go with Ayane, Kim and Kevin and attempt to distract the other team while they get the rag. Pikachu, Pignite and Glalie, you guys stay here with the rest of us to defend the rag. We should keep someone actually with the flag as well as a last line of defence."

"I volunteer for that," said Wallace. "I don't really move around a lot anyway, so a position where I don't move unless necessary is perfect."

"Alright, everyone clear on what their job is?" asked Kim, to which no-one spoke up. The bell signalling the start of the challenge sounded. "Good. Let's go." Kim and Ayane quickly climbed up a couple of trees, with Staraptor soaring above them. On the ground, Kevin, Bayleef and Squirtle spread out and headed for the border. Ash and his remaining team, Sabriel and Bart also spread out, but stayed fairly deep in their territory. Wallace tied the rag to a branch, and sat down under it.

Meanwhile, just across the border on the Shark's side . . .

"Okay, let's see if everyone is in position," said Zidane to himself. He was well concealed in a high tree at this time, and shook and branch roughly, but hardly enough to damage the tree. A few seconds later, a bush on the ground shook also. That meant Carly was in position at least. He waited about a minute, and the bush shook again. That meant everyone was in position. Zidane shook his branch again, and the bush shook again. Another minute passed, and Zidane heard what he was waiting for: singing. Loud enough to draw attention, but quiet enough to be mistaken as singing to oneself.

Rachel was just barely in sight, but Zidane followed her progress carefully, moving from tree to tree with practised ease. Somewhere in the distance, Murtagh would be doing something similar on the ground if all was going well. Occasionally, Zidane stopped to listen to the song Rachel was singing. He didn't know the song, but he did hear something about a 'midnight train going anywhere', whatever that meant.

Finally, Rachel stopped singing. She'd been spotted! Zidane glanced over, and saw Sabriel. Sabriel grabbed Rachel and started dragging her back to the border. As much as Zidane would have loved to interfere, the plan relied on him moving forward.

Back on the Sharks side . . .

"You sure they'll be here?" asked Katniss, nocking an arrow.

"In approximately thirty seconds," said Alice.

Katniss was worried. They'd left Marty and Light to guard the rag, so Light could get Marty onside for their next vote. On the other hand, Katniss and Alice were the two most experienced fighters, and Kim and Ayane were coming up fast. Marty and Light would be practically useless here, and they needed someone to guard the rag.

"Incoming," called Alice, and Katniss narrowly ducked under a ninja star. Within a heartbeat, Katniss loosed her arrow and managed to pierce Kim's pants, pinning her to a tree. Knowing it wouldn't hold her for long, Katniss dropped her bow and charged at her. Kim removed the arrow and engaged Katniss in hand to hand combat. A short distance away, Alice was doing the same with Ayane. They had to stop them quickly, since Alice had seen Ash send his Pokémon as well. Kevin wouldn't be much of a problem since he's just a kid, but the Pokémon would be problematic. Speaking of which . . .

"Heads up Marty," called Light as Staraptor swooped in low over them. The two of them found the greenest part of the forest possible, hoping to hide the rag as much as possible. It seemed to have worked, because Staraptor hadn't found the rag yet. Kevin, Bayleef and Squirtle would be a fair way back, since they were travelling by land, but Staraptor was more than capable of keeping them both busy . . .

Keeping them both busy! That was their plan. Light glanced over to where the rag was hidden, and found Kevin already there grabbing it. "I got it! I got it!" he yelled, distracting Marty as Staraptor rammed into him. Kevin shot off towards his territory while Light dragged Marty up. Meanwhile, Staraptor was gaining altitude, preparing to swoop again.

"Marty, when Staraptor gets close, you run and try to catch Kevin," said Light. "You're faster than I am, and someone needs to keep this thing busy." Marty nodded, and the two waited for the giant bird to attack.

Staraptor swooped, and barely a second before impact Marty ran, leaving Light to take the full force of the blow. Marty kept running, hoping he could catch that kid before he crossed the border.

Meanwhile, back on the Viper's side . . .

"I got it! I got the rag," yelled Zidane, running through Viper territory holding a red piece of cloth. Murtagh ran behind him, ready for any kind of attack. Bart was on them quick, firing stones from his slingshot, but he couldn't fire and chase at the same time. Sabriel was the next to respond, sword drawn to strike, but Murtagh readily engaged her, and Zidane left the two duelling. That just left . . .

"Pikachu, Pignite, Glalie, combine your Thunderbolt, Flamethrower and Ice Beam attacks," yelled Ash. The three Pokémon obeyed, and the Tri-Attack hit Zidane hard, knocking him over. Ash ran up and grabbed what Zidane was holding, and gasped. "This isn't the rag," he said. Ash looked around, and saw how close they were to the border. A short way off, he could see Kevin charging towards the line. Maybe this won't matter, he thought.

Kevin kept running, his eyes on where the line was. Big mistake. If he'd been looking up, he might have noticed Carly charging straight at him. And worse still, she had their flag. However, Carly was making the same mistake as Kevin, so neither of them saw the other until they collided with each other. Right on the line. Luckily for Carly, she was bigger than Kevin, and so the force of the impact meant they fell over onto the Sharks side.

"The Giant Sharks win again," said Chris, who seemed to just materialise out of thin air. "Nice try Striking Vipers, but it looks like you'll be losing another member."

Now, some good news for Kevin:

"Hey, uh, Carly, you can remove your lips now," said Kevin, who indeed had Carly's lips against his. "You know, if you want to."

Carly suddenly realised what she'd being doing and quickly got up. "Oh God, sorry, didn't mean to do that," she said, moving over to join her team.

**Confession Cam: Kevin**

Kevin didn't say anything. He just gave two thumbs up.

"That was amazing Carly," said Alice. "How'd you manage to get it without Wallace noticing?"

"He did notice," said Carly. "But he just sat there and said a few sarcastic lines about how he couldn't stop me unless he tried, and since that's not his thing, he didn't."

"Oh really?" said Ayane. "Well, I know who I'm voting for."

About an hour later, in the Vipers cabin . . .

Sabriel walks in, and sees all the boys on the team crowding around Bart, who was showing them something on his phone. "Hey guys, what's up?" she asked, walking over to them.

They all suddenly noticed her, and each looked nervous. "Erm . . . nothing," said Kevin, looking as innocent as possible.

Obviously, this got Sabriel's attention. "Okay, what's going on here," she said, grabbing the phone out of Bart's hand. The most shocking thing here to Sabriel wasn't that Bart had a phone, when the rules said they weren't allowed. It was that Bart was showing them the footage of her rummaging through Light's stuff.

"That son of a . . ."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"The thing is, I never said I wouldn't leak the video if she didn't tell anyone, so technically I'm not lying."

Later, at the campfire ceremony . . .

**Confession Cam: Wallace**

"So, with the whole 'breaking into someone's room and stealing their stuff' thing that Sabriel's done, I'm voting for her. Too bad, I thought she was kinda cool."

**Confession Cam: Sabriel**

"Oh, how I wish Light was on this team. He'd be gone tonight. Guess I'll have to settle for Bart, who seems to be in league with him."

**Confession Cam: Ayane**

"Wallace is a *beep*, that's why I'm voting for him."

"Okay campers, I think you know the drill by now," said Chris. "I have six marshmallows, but there are seven of you. So, one of you will be taking the Blast of Shame, leaving the Island. And you will never, ever be allowed to return. Ever. The following campers are safe." As Chris said each name, he gave them a marshmallow. "Kim. Kevin. Bart. Ayane. Ash. You guys are all safe." The camera focused on Wallace and Sabriel. "Campers, there is only one marshmallow left. That means one of you is going home tonight. Or, you know, wherever the people who get fired out of the cannon go. Anyway, the final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera cuts between Sabriel and Wallace several times, Sabriel looking worried, Wallace looking indifferent. "Wallace."

The final marshmallow landed on Wallace's lap. "Damn you Yagami," muttered Sabriel as Chef dragged her to the cannon.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Nothing personal, you were just in my way. Now, I just have to remove one of Alice, Murtagh and Katniss before they turn the team against me. Luckily, I think I can use Marty."

Back in the studio, Chris is watching the events on several different screens. "Wow, that kid just radiates evil," said Chris. "Will the Sharks keep up their winning streak? Can Light destroy half the members of his team's reputations? And what horrors do I still have in store for our contestants? Find the answers to all these questions, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	10. Sharks and Sasquatches and Chef Oh

Episode 9: Sharks and Sasquatches and Chef . . . Oh My!

The scene opened on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Sabriel raided Light's stuff, found out Light's little secret, and still ended up as the one getting blackmailed. Then made our contestants play a poor people's version of Capture the Flag, which we would have made more dangerous if the network raised our budget. The challenge was won by the Giant Sharks after Carly decided to pursue a younger boy . . ."

Carly's voice is heard yelling "That was an accident."

"Whatever. Anyway, the Striking Vipers eliminated Sabriel, even though Wallace was useless to the point of hindrance." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "Will the Vipers finally end their losing cycle? Will Kim lose interest in Light before it's too late? And what sort of hell have I got planned for the contestants this week? Find out the answers to these questions right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays_

Kim was sitting on the steps of the mess hall when Light came up. "Why hello Kim," he said, sitting down beside her.

"Oh, umm, err, hi," stammered Kim. "See to nice you, I mean, nice you see to, I mean . . ."

Light chuckled. "There's no need to be nervous," said Light. "I don't bite . . . unless you want me to."

Kim blushed. "Oh, well, ahh . . ." As hard as she tried, she couldn't form a coherent sentence.

"Well now, you seem to get cuter when you're nervous," said Light. Kim (somehow) blushed even more at this. "If we weren't on opposite teams, I'd love to get to know you better. What do you say to meeting up when we're off the show?"

Kim looked at him, stunned. "Oh, uh, yes. Yes, that'd be cool. I mean, if you're not trying to play your mind games on me."

"Please Kim," said Light. "For one thing, anything you've heard about my 'mind games', as you call them, is exaggerated. What happened with Haruhi was an unfortunate accident. Also, do you really think I'm so heartless that I'd play with a girl's heart?"

"Well, I guess not," said Kim.

"See?" said Light. "Well, I'd better get going. See you around." Light got up and left Kim, still in shock about what just happened.

Meanwhile, inside the mess hall, sitting at one of the benches and not even attempting to hide his presence, was Wallace.

**Confession Cam: Wallace**

"No good can become of that. I should do something about it. I should, but I won't . . . yet."

**Confession Cam: Kim**

"Oh. My. God. Light totally just asked me out."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Another one bites the dust. Now to bring Marty to my side before Katniss's team claim him. I've focused so hard on the other team that my own team has got me in a precarious position."

Meanwhile, at the Giant Sharks cabin . . .

"Come on Carly, why won't you go out with me?" whined Zidane.

"Because I'm sure I can do better than a monkey boy," said Carly.

"Fine, I'll take my business elsewhere," said Zidane. "Rachel?"

"No thanks Zidane," said Rachel. "My heart bellows to Finn."

"WHOA! You were with Finn?" asked Zidane. "He seemed so against inter-team alliances, and yet . . ."

"Different Finn," replied Rachel.

"Just saying, the name 'Finn' isn't exactly common," said Zidane.

"Well, I'd never even heard the name Zidane before I got here, and I'm over a hundred years old," said Alice.

"A HUNDRED?!" exclaimed Katniss. "You look like two years older than me."

"It's part of the whole vampire thing," said Alice. "No aging, so I'll look nineteen forever."

"Wait a minute, isn't another part of the vampire thing that you're meant to drink blood?" asked Rachel. "I haven't seen you feeding since Day 1."

"Oh, yeah. I've been doing that when you've been asleep," said Alice. "To spare you guys the horror of it." The others accepted this response and nodded in agreement.

**Confession Cam: Alice**

"*beep*, I haven't fed since Day 1. I've been so focused on Light's elimination I completely forgot about it. I can probably hold out on feeding on the humans, but it's going to be difficult. Hopefully Chris doesn't have a challenge involving animals, I might not be able to control myself."

"Well, if you ladies aren't interested, I'll just have to be content with Dagger," said Zidane as he started to leave.

"Most men would be content with a princess," said Alice as he passed by. "And give Carly her bra back."

Carly immediately started checking her chest area. "How the hell did you do that?" demanded Carly, snatching her bra back.

"I've got magic fingers," said Zidane, chuckling as he left. "If you'd agreed to go out with me, you might have seen how magical." He didn't see it, but all of them glared as he left.

"Campers," said Chris's voice over the loudspeakers. "Today's challenge starts in ten minutes. Our lawyers are currently on standby."

Ten minutes later, outside the mess hall . . .

"Campers, today's challenge is . . ." started Chris.

"A really freaking dangerous one," said Kevin. "Can't you give us one challenge that doesn't endanger everyone's lives?"

"I'll think about it," said Chris. "In the meantime, your challenge today is to capture a dangerous animal."

"So, you've run out of ideas and now we're repeating one of Day 1's challenges?" asked Murtagh. "I guess we'll repeat all our other challenges after this then. Hey Wallace, do you have another domestic abuse joke in you for our next challenge?"

Wallace opened his mouth to speak.

**WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.**

The scene returns with Chef holding his hockey puck launcher, and Wallace unconscious on the ground.

"Not this time, my friend," said Chris. "We may need to take him to the infirmary though. Anyway, you will be competing against each other to catch the most dangerous animal you can manage. The team who catches the most dangerous creature wins. Any questions?" As Chris explained the challenge, Alice shuddered at the thought that she might be unable to control herself.

"Yeah, I do," said Bart. "Shouldn't we wait 'til Wallace wakes up? Right now, it's five against eight."

"Forget him," said Ayane. "He's dead weight anyway. We'll be better off without him."

"There we go, problem solved," said Chris. "Okay, anymore questions?" The contestants remained silent. "Alright then, GO!"

Both teams set off to the woods in different directions, where Chris kept most of his dangerous 'toys' hidden from the contestants.

"Alright team, any idea what we should catch?" asked Light when they were far enough into the woods.

"Well, there's a cave over there," said Marty. "Maybe there's a bear in there?"

"Alright then," said Light. "Alice, since any animal that attacks you won't hurt you, would you do the honour?"

Alice hesitated a moment. "O . . . okay," she said, striding up to the cave entrance.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"I've been wondering what Alice has been eating, since human food doesn't appeal to her. She's a vampire, so she must drink blood, but I haven't noticed bites marks on anyone. That leaves animals as her only food source. I haven't seen any suspiciously dead animals, so either she's good at disposing of them, or she's not feeding. For my purposes, let's hope it's the latter."

Alice entered the cave, more afraid of what she'd do the any animal she found than what they'd do to her. Within minutes, she had found the sole inhabitant of the cave: Sasquatchanakwa. The large animal was facing away from her, so he never saw her sneak up on him. In fact, he didn't know she was there until she sunk her teeth into him. Alice couldn't help it: she needed blood, now!

"Hey Alice," called Marty after a few minutes of waiting. "What's taking so HOLY CRAP!" Obviously, that last part was said when he saw the dead Sasquatch. "What the hell happened?"

"Umm . . . I had no other choice," said Alice. "Everyone knows that Sasquatches are one of the only creatures that can kill a vampire."

Marty looked at her doubtfully. "Alright," he said, pretending to believe her. "Let's tell the others it was empty, and we'll try somewhere else."

Meanwhile, with the Striking Vipers . . .

"I choose you, Infernape," said Ash, sending out a flaming monkey. "Infernape, we need to find something dangerous in order to win this challenge. You think you can help with that?" Infernape grunted in agreement.

"That's adorable," said Ayane. "But I doubt that giant ape has half the tracking and fighting ability I have."

"You know, you could always work together rather than fighting each other," suggested Kim.

Ayane glared at her, but conceded without a word.

Meanwhile, with the Giant Sharks . . .

"So basically, we're catching a mascot now?" asked Rachel.

After the 'empty' cave, the team 'borrowed' a piece of raw meat from Chef's kitchen and headed down to the dock.

"If you have a better idea, I'd like to hear it," said Murtagh, who was doing the fishing.

"Tank's ready," called Zidane, who was carrying a washed up bathtub with Katniss, which they'd patched up enough to hold water for the shark.

"Alright, now we just wait for a shark to take the bait," said Carly, staying well away from where the shark would be. "Hey Alice, what are you doing all the way over there?" Alice wasn't even on the pier. "Come on, you might need to give Murtagh a hand."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine," said Murtagh, flashing a knowing smile at Alice. Alice was shocked. How did he know she hadn't fed? Not that it mattered; he wasn't going to say anything. They were allies.

A few minutes later, Murtagh felt a tug on the line. "I've got something," he called. Pulling hard, he hauled a large shark out of the water. Between himself and Zidane, they managed to lift the thing into the bathtub.

"Wow, that's huge," said Light. "Alice, you should check this thing out."

Alice, whose thirst hadn't quite been quenched by the Sasquatch, hesitated before approaching. Unfortunately, animals that eat other animals are too tempting for a hungry vampire. Her team watched in horror as she killed her second animal for the day.

Meanwhile, with the Striking Vipers . . .

Infernape suddenly heard a noise in the bushes nearby. Before anyone could stop him, he'd rushed in, and the sounds of a struggle were heard.

"Ayane, do something," called Ash. "It sounds like Infernape's in trouble."

"Told you he'd need my help," said Ayane, springing after him. Within seconds, the fight was over, and Ayane and Infernape were dragging their catch out of the bushes. "Hope you're happy, I had to use another one of my tranquilisers."

"Wait a sec," said Kim. "Is that . . ."

"Yep," said Kevin.

"Well, it is a horrible, bloodthirsty monster," said Bart. "That should count for something."

"Good enough for me," said Ash. "Go Pokéball." The Pokéball hit the target on the chest, and it went in without a protest.

"Odd," said Kevin. "On day one you couldn't catch a seagull you fried, but you just caught . . ."

"Yeah, I think the guy writing this did that for comedic effect," said Infernape.

"Like you talking in actual English just now?" asked Ash.

"Exactly," said Infernape, before Ash recalled it to its Pokéball and the team returned to the meeting area.

Later, back at the meeting area . . .

"Okay campers, it's time to see what you caught," said Chris. "We'll start with the Giant Sharks. What have you got?"

Rachel looked slightly embarrassed, then walked up to Chris and presented a jar to him. "That," said Chris. "Is a fly. Hardly dangerous to anyone who isn't already horribly diseased."

At this point, Alice (who was still hungry) succumbed to her thirst once more, and snatched the jar out of Chris's hand. She grabbed the fly out of the jar, and drained it of its minute amount of blood. "And now you've got nothing. Okay, Striking Vipers, let's see what you got, although at this point, you'll probably win by presenting something."

Ash stepped forward, and threw one of his Pokéballs. Out from it popped . . . Chef. "You caught Chef," said Chris. "Well, while not technically an animal, he is incredibly dangerous. Congratulations Striking Vipers, you win today's challenge. Giant Sharks, see you at elimination."

Chef got up at this point, and pulled out a meat cleaver. "Have you any idea how cramped it is in that ball?" demanded Chef. "You're gonna pay for that."

"Return Chef," said Ash, holding out the Pokéball. However, as the Pokéball attempted to recall Chef, he swatted it away.

"I ain't going in there again," said Chef, and he charged at Ash, who immediately started running.

While the remainder of the Striking Vipers celebrated their first victory in a while, the Giant Sharks looked around to decide who to get rid of.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Well, I have a perfectly good opportunity to get rid of Alice now, one of the conspirators against me. Why waste it?"

**Confession Cam: Alice**

She doesn't say anything at first, but then she snaps out of it. "Oh dear, lots of people out to get me right now. Well, hopefully they realise that Light is the true evil on this team."

**Confession Cam: Carly**

"No-one steals my bra and gets away with it. So long Zidane."

**Confession Cam: Zidane**

"Sorry Alice, but I've gotta vote for you. And I was so close to joining your cause too."

Later, at the campfire ceremony . . .

"Alright Sharks," said Chris. "There are seven marshmallows on this plate, but there are eight of you. Those of you who receive a marshmallow are safe . . . for now. The one who does not receive a marshmallow will be forced to take the Blast of Shame, and will never, ever ever, be allowed to return. Ever. The following contestants are safe." As he read each name, he threw a marshmallow to them. "Murtagh. Marty. Katniss. Rachel. Light. Carly." The camera cuts to Zidane and Alice, the last two contestants. "Campers, there is only one marshmallow left. That means one of you is going home tonight. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera starting cutting between a nervous looking Zidane, and a blank looking Alice. "Zidane." The final marshmallow landed safely on his lap.

"WHAT?! No," yelled Katniss. "We can't lose Alice . . . hey, where is she?"

Sure enough, where she'd been sitting before was no-one, just a piece of paper. Chris picked it up and read it. "'Dear everyone, sorry about my abrupt departure, but I already knew the outcome of the votes, and I also knew Chris was planning to use extra gunpowder this week to get an extra big ka-boom, which would have ignited and killed me.' Damn, I was hoping she wouldn't see that. 'Sorry I ruined this challenge and foiled a chance to get rid of Light. But please guys, remove Light from competition next Signed, Alice.' So, I guess that means we don't use the cannon this week?"

"We can fire a few interns out of it," suggested Chef.

"Sounds like a plan," said Chris. "But first, will Wallace recover from his head wound? Will Katniss and Murtagh be able to beat Light by themselves? And what are we going to do with the corpse of Sasquatchanaqua? Find out the answers to all these questions sometime in the coming weeks, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	11. Chrisaoke

**Author note: The songs parodied in this chapter (Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know" and LMFAO's "Sexy and I Know It") belong to their respective owners. Same goes to Bart Simpson's "Do the Bartman".**

Episode 10: Chrisaoke

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Light managed to get Kim eating out of the palm of his hand, and Wallace is doing nothing to stop it. And while Light was playing the ladies, Zidane is failing miserably. Alice realised she hasn't fed for a while, which was very bad in a challenge where the contestants have to capture bloodthirsty animals. This naturally led to her elimination. Now with one less member, the 'Sharks against Light' campaign is on shaky grounds, especially with Light scoping out Marty as a potential ally." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "How will Light persuade Marty to join him? Will Marty join Light? And will I join him? Well, the rules forbid that last one, but find out the answers to the other two questions right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Marty is playing guitar on the pier when Light approaches. "Hey Marty," said Light sitting down nearby. "I wasn't aware you played guitar."

"Yeah, I'm in a band back home," said Marty. "But anyway, what's up?"

"Straight to the point, eh?" asked Light. "Very well: I wanted to ask whether you are one of the people against me."

Marty looked at him for a moment before replying. "No," he said. "I'm not against you, but I'm not with you either. I don't know whether what you did to Haruhi was intentional or not, but since you haven't done anything to eliminate any of our teammates, I think it was an accident."

Light smiled at this. "I hope I'm not being too forward when I say this," said Light. "But I want you to join me."

Marty looked at him stunned. "What?"

"I'm not saying you have to join me," said Light. "And I will not act against you if you refuse. I simply need some support within my own team, since Katniss and Murtagh are working non-stop for my elimination. I swear, Haruhi's elimination was not my intention. I feel I have much to contribute to this team, and do not wish for the team to fall into disrepute as a result of unjust revenge."

Marty looked at him for a moment. "Well, you did take that blow from Ash's Pokémon for me," he said.

"And I've still got bruises from it," said Light.

"Whoa, really?" asked Marty. "I didn't think it hit you that hard. Do you mind if . . ."

"Trying to get my shirt off are you?" asked Light. Marty looked embarrassed at this. "I'm kidding. Wallace is the only one here I suspect wants that. Here, take a look." Light lifted up his shirt, revealing dark purple marks all across his chest.

"Wow, I guess I owe you then," said Marty. "Count me in."

"Excellent," said Light, shaking Marty's hand.

**Confession Cam: Marty**

"I had my doubts about Light at first, but he really doesn't seem like a bad guy. He sounded sincere, and anyone willing to take a Staraptor to the chest like that must be trustworthy."

**Confession Cam: Light**

Light holds up a bunch of dark coloured berries to the camera, then crushes them in his hand. A dark purple paste is seen dripping in his hand. "I didn't think he'd actually fall for these bruises, but they are a pretty convincing colour. I'm lucky that idiot believed that crap. Now, to subdue Katniss and Maurtagh."

Meanwhile, in the Giant Sharks cabin . . .

"Hey Zidane, can I ask you something?" asked Katniss.

"Yes, I will go out with you," said Zidane, not even looking up at her.

"Not that, but you will see more of me if you say yes," said Katniss.

"Answer's still yes," said Zidane, still not looking up.

"So you will join me and Murtagh in getting rid of Light?" asked Katniss.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" said Zidane, not even realising what he agreed to.

"Oh, okay, thanks," said Katniss, before leaving.

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"I know Alice said Zidane would join without hesitation, but that seemed too easy."

**Confession Cam: Zidane**

"I wonder what Katniss asked. I should find a way to ask without telling her I didn't listen."

"Campers, your next challenge starts in seventeen minutes and fifty three seconds," said Chris voice over the loudspeakers. "Not that we're counting."

Seventeen minutes and fifty four seconds later . . .

"Campers, you can breathe easy for now," said Chris. "Today's challenge is not dangerous in the slightest . . . unless you get eliminated." A loud cheer erupted from the contestants at this. "Today's challenge is called 'Chrisaoke'."

"So, have you become so vain you make up words about yourself now?" asked Carly.

"The word isn't about me," said Chris. "It's named after me. Chrisaoke is derived from the Ancient Egyptian word 'karaoke', which means to sing your favourite songs with the aid of a CD and enough alcohol to make you think you're actually good."

"You made all that up didn't you?" said Murtagh.

"What surprises you about that?" asked Chris. "Your challenge is to write and perform a song entirely dedicated to the greatest person on the island: me."

"Debatable," muttered Kevin.

"You have eight hours to prepare. Go."

Later, with the Giant Sharks . . .

"I should spearhead this challenge," said Rachel. "I have years of singing experience, and I've actually written songs before."

"Yes, I'm sure your little show tune ballads were great," said Marty. "But I play an actual instrument, and Chris strikes me as the kinda guy who wants to rock out more than sing in chorus."

"I'll have you know my glee club won Regionals with songs I wrote," answered Rachel.

"And then they lost at Nationals with songs you wrote," replied Light. Rachel glared at him as he continued. "Look, we can't afford to fight amongst ourselves. If we do, we'll never get this done. We're lucky that our team has an actual musician and an actual singer, so we need you two to work together."

Rachel continued to glare at Light, but eventually saw the logic in his words. "Fine," she said. "But I want full creative control over everything, and none of you can interfere."

The rest of the team protested this, but Rachel stood firm. "Alright, fine," Katniss eventually said. "We need her too much for this to refuse. I say we give her what she wants, and if we lose we boot her." The entire team agreed to this, though Rachel was suddenly quite apprehensive.

Meanwhile, with the Striking Vipers . . .

"We are NOT doing a rap song," said Ayane, anger in her voice.

"Why do you care? You've already said you don't have any musical talents," said Bart. Ayane glared at him. "I'm the only one here who has musical experience, and I say rap."

"I didn't realise covering your ears when your sister played saxophone counted as musical experience," said Ash.

"No, not that," said Bart. "I'm talking about this." Bart climbed up on a rock and began singing. "_Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman/Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man/Move your butt to the side yes you can can/Everybody in the house do the Bartman_".

Everyone stared at Bart, unsure of what to say. Luckily, Wallace fixed this somewhat. "That is so 1991."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" asked Bart. "Well, do I have moves or what?"

"Not really," said Kim. "But whatever, we've got nothing better."

Bart laughed at this. "Perfect."

"Hey Bart," called Kevin. "Look what I found." Bart approached him, and saw Kevin standing over a tree with a vine trapped under a rock. "So, when I pluck this thing like a guitar string . . ." He did so, and it made a sort of twanging noise. "I thought we could use it for the beat."

Bart plucked the vine a few times, and then started to do it in a sort of rhythm. "It's good," said Bart. "But we can't move it to the stage."

"No, but we can record it," said Kevin, pulling out a tape recorder.

"What the hell is this, the 80's?" asked Bart. "Whatever. Doesn't matter, we need it." Bart started plucking the vine while Kevin recorded it.

That evening, at the amphitheatre . . .

"Welcome campers, to the first, and probably only, Total Drama Chrisaoke competition," said Chris. "Two teams, two songs, one winner, one person fired from a cannon. I cannot tell you how excited I am for that last part. First up, we have Marty and Rachel from the Giant Sharks, with a song called 'You're Not Just Somebody Who Has Got a Show'."

Behind the curtain, Marty looked over at Rachel. "Are you sure about this? I mean, the lyrics are kinda lame, the tune is kinda slow, and don't even get me started about the body paint."

"Don't worry, we'll be fine," said Rachel. "I doubt they even have a songwriter, so I didn't have to try that hard."

"You didn't put in any effort?" demanded Marty. "Well, too late now, we're on." The curtain lifted, revealing Marty and Rachel, barely dressed, covered in paint of various shades of green and brown. Marty started playing a slow, steady rhythm on his guitar, and soon began singing. "_Now and then I think of when Chris dragged me out here/Like when he said you could win a lot of cash/Told myself this was a good idea/But didn't know of his lunacy/But I still love this, so don't shoot me off the pier_."

Then Rachel took over. "_Now and then I think of all the times you've tried to kill us/And you had me thinking what I did to deserve this?/But I don't always think that way/Really Chris, you are just quite okay/And since you rake in the dough/It proves you're not just somebody who has got a show_."

As the chorus began, the two began singing in unison. "_But you didn't have to drop us down/Into the shark infested water to be ate or drowned/And we don't really like that you/Left us to a spider the size of a car or two/And you didn't have to stoop so low/As to make us use the slop that Chef calls his food, though/I guess that despite all of this/You're not just somebody that has his own show_." The song faded out with the two of them occasionally repeating that last line.

Chris came up on stage as they finished. "Well, certainly not a bad effort," said Chris. "Six out of ten. Personally, I would have preferred something a little more upbeat." The members of the Giant Sharks glared at Rachel, who giggled nervously. "Well, let's keep this train wreck moving with the Striking Vipers."

As Chris got off stage, Kevin came on holding his tape recorder. He pressed play, and the beat that Bart made that afternoon started playing. Shortly after, Bart came onstage, dressed as a miniature Chris. Then he began the song:

"_Yeah, yeah/When I walk the streets, girls be looking like damn he Chris/I'm on TV, and the winner of several Gemmies, yeah/This is how I roll, private island, where I host the show/It's Bart Simpson with the pointy hair/Telling you 'bout the host who's got the most, yeah/Chicks check out that body, chicks check out that body, chicks check out that body/I work out/Chicks check out that body, chicks check out that body, chicks check out that body/I work out/When I walk on the pier, this is what I say/This is the show, who's gone is anybody's guess/I got Chef as my wingman and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, show it/I'm McLean and I know it_."

As Bart finished the chorus, Wallace came out onstage only in his underpants. He then continued the song. "_Check it out/Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah/Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle yeah, yeah/Do the wiggle man/I do the wiggle man/Yeah/I'm McLean and I know it_." As the song finished, Wallace made the 'call me' sign to Chris.

Chris frowned at Wallace's gesture, but soon got over it. "Well, I think we've got a clear winner," said Chris. "Striking Vipers, that was exactly the sort of song I wanted. You guys are tonight's winners. Giant Sharks, see you at elimination." As she heard those words, Rachel gulped.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Well, I was gonna try and get Rachel to help me, but I realise now she won't be much use. She'll have too much of a crowd against her."

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"Well, I guess I should keep my promise. Sorry Rachel."

**Confession Cam: Rachel**

"I'll vote for Marty. Maybe some of them will blame him equally . . . Maybe."

Later at the elimination ceremony . . .

"Campers, someone is going home tonight," said Chris. "Who it is will be determined by these marshmallows. There are six of them here, but seven of you. The one of you who doesn't receive a marshmallow will be taking the Blast of Shame, and will never be allowed to return. Ever. The following campers are safe." As he said each camper's name, he threw them a marshmallow. "Carly. Murtagh. Light. Zidane. Katniss." Marty smirked at Rachel, who looked extremely nervous. "Campers, there is one marsh . . ."

"We already know Rachel's gone," said Zidane. "Just give Marty the marshmallow already."

Chris glared at him. "Fine, okay, Marty gets the marshmallow. But Zidane, you really should learn about suspense. Especially if you're in a theatre troupe." Chris threw the final marshmallow to Marty.

Rachel, realising she couldn't do anything to prevent what would happen, just held her head down as Chef loaded her into the cannon. "I was hoping for a little more fight out of her than this," said Chef as he fired the cannon.

"You can't always get what you want," said Chris. "Who will Light screw with next? How will I screw with the contestants next? And am I allowed to say screw this many times on TV? Find next the answers to all these questions next time, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	12. Total Treasure Island

Episode 11: Total Treasure Island

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Light recruited Marty to his slowly growing army to keep him in the game, while Zidane 'joined' Katniss's slowing shrinking army to get Light out of the game. The contestants were given their first non-dangerous challenge of the series: writing and performing a song dedicated to me. The Giant Sharks had a beautiful ballad, but the Striking Vipers managed to win the challenge. I just wish Wallace was actually wearing clothes. Because she lost the challenge for them, Rachel was sent home, and sadly didn't protest it to amuse us. Oh well, maybe this time." The scene cuts back to Chris standing on the pier. "What horrors have we got in store for our contestants this time? Do we have any horrors in store for our contestants? And can the Giant Sharks end this horrific losing streak? Find out the answers to these questions and more, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Ayane was out in the forest, searching for Kasumi again, when she heard something in a nearby bush. As quick as she could, Ayane grabbed out one of her tranquiliser darts and fired it in the direction of the sound. A male's voice cried out, and Ayane went to check it out. She found an intern lying on the ground, while an older man knelt beside him. "What the hell's going on here?" demanded Ayane.

The older man looked up. "I'm guessing you did this, Ayane," said the older man.

"How do you know my name?" asked Ayane, preparing for a fight.

"Relax girl, I'm just one of the producers," said the man. "We were ordered to take Sasquatchanakwa's body somewhere else."

"For what?" asked Ayane.

"How should I know what the higher-ups are scheming?" replied the producer. "I just do what I'm paid for."

"I swear to God, if this is for genetic research, then someone's gonna die," said Ayane, all too aware of what horrors genetic research could do.

"I'm hoping it's just to bury her," said the producer. "Though I can never be sure with them." The man then turned back to the intern. "Now, about him . . ."

"He'll be fine in a couple of hours," said Ayane, not even slightly concerned. "Or he's dead. Either way I don't care." And with that, she left, disappearing in a flurry of flower petals in her wake.

"Campers, meet me on the beach for today's challenge," said Chris's voice over the loudspeaker.

"You think this is a water challenge?" asked Kevin.

"After what happened on day one, I'd hope not," said Ash. "Just in case, I've got Pikachu and Torterra with me. I also got Corphish, in case we have to go underwater."

"I have no idea what any of those are apart from Pikachu," said Kevin, heading down to the beach.

Later, on the beach . . .

"Alright campers, time for today's challenge," said Chris. "Behind me, you may have noticed these two submarines." Sure enough, there were two decrepit submarines sitting behind him. "Your challenge is to use them to find some valuable treasure under the ocean."

"Seriously?" said Marty. "Those things look like they'll hardly survive above the surface."

"All the more reason to finish the challenge quickly," said Chris.

"Is there even any treasure down there?" asked Light.

"Actually, there is," said Chris. "You see, after season one, the suitcase containing the money was eaten by a shark."

"Didn't you recover it for season two?" asked Bart.

"You believed that?" asked Chris. "Every intern we sent it to retrieve it just became shark food. Anyway, that's what you're looking for. And we know it's down there, because when you eat something, sooner or later it has to . . ."

"Say no more," said Kim, and several contestants agreed.

"Alright, well, that's your challenge," said Chris. "First team to find and retrieve it wins the challenge."

"Do we get to keep the money?" asked Bart.

"Sure," said Chris. "But just so you know, that case wasn't waterproof." A collective moan came from the contestants.

"Guys, leave this to me," said Ash. "I choose you Corphish." Corphish emerged on the beach from its Pokéball on demand. "Corphish, we need you to find a suitcase somewhere under the water so we can win this challenge. Can you do that?" Corphish nodded, and scuttled into the water.

"All right campers. Enter your submarines and begin the challenge," said Chris.

The teams entered their vessels, which were much smaller on the inside. "Kinda cramped in here," said Carly. "We don't all have to go, do we?"

"Actually, you do," said Chris, closing the Giant Sharks hatch. "Don't worry, there's a button in there that will send you straight back to the surface if necessary. We don't know if it works, but it's there."

The teams launched their submarines into the water, and the search began. "Okay, sharks tend to like deeper water, so that's where we need to start," said Light.

"Aye aye, cap'n," said Zidane, who was driving.

"You sure you know who to drive this?" asked Katniss.

"It's actually not that different from one of Cid's airships back home," said Zidane.

The whole time, Carly looked around nervous.

Meanwhile, with the Striking Vipers . . .

"You sure that puny lobster of yours can carry the case?" asked Bart.

"Corphish is stronger than he looks," said Ash.

"But couldn't you have picked something bigger and/or stronger?" asked Kim.

"Well . . . I suppose Kingler would have been better," said Ash.

"Well, we're stuck with the lobster now," said Ayane. "Assuming it survives this run-in."

Ash ran to the front of the submarine, and out the front window saw Corphish facing up against a shark. But there was something off about this shark . . .

"Why has it got feet?" asked Wallace. Sure enough, this shark had feet.

"That would be Fang," came Chris's voice over the radio. "He's quite harmless if you're nowhere near him. And since we hired him to guard the case, he'll be very harmful."

Ash quickly grabbed a microphone that would project his voice out to Corphish. "Corphish, Bubblebeam attack."

Corphish unleashed a huge blast of bubbles at Fang, forcing him back. Sure enough, behind where Fang had been was the case, and several intern corpses. Kim (who was driving the submarine) drove forward quickly to retrieve it.

As they were about to grab it, they heard a crash and were pushed sideways. One look out the window showed Fang holding Corphish in his jaws, before Corphish was swallowed whole. Everyone gasped as Fang started charging again.

Meanwhile, on land . . .

"Hey Chef, you did remember to fuel up the submarines right?" asked Chris.

"I thought that was your job," said Chef.

"Oh well, I'm sure they'll be fine," said Chris.

Meanwhile, the Giant Sharks submarine suddenly shuddered then stopped.

"What's happening?" demanded Murtagh, rushing up to Zidane.

"We're out of fuel," said Light. "What's worse is that the case is just over there." Light indicated out the window to where the case was. Also in view was the Striking Vipers getting attacked by Fang. "We'll have to resurface if we want to live, though that will mean forfeiting the challenge."

"Not necessarily," said Murtagh. "I'm stronger than the rest of you, I can swim, and I can hold my breath longer than the rest of you. Not to boast or anything. Once we resurface, I'll go on, and hopefully the Vipers won't be able to get it first."

"Well whatever you do, do it quick," said Marty. "We're sinking."

"Sinking?" said Carly. "That's it, get us outta here. Claustrophobia is bad enough as it is without adding sinking death-trap to it." Carly immediately started smashing the control panel, looking for the resurface button. Unfortunately, she used a little too much force, and broke most of the controls. Katniss and Zidane grabbed her and dragged her away before she could do any more damage.

"I sure hope none of those were the button that saves us," said Light. "Murtagh, where's your dragon? Can't he swim down and save us?"

"Thorn's several miles out to sea hunting," said Murtagh. "I might be able to let myself out to win us the challenge by using the Ancient Language to keep the water out as I leave."

"Go for it," said Light. "I'll try and fix the controls."

Murtagh walked up to the door and began speaking. "Adurna, letta." As Murtagh opened the door, everyone was shocked to see the water not enter the submarine. Just as Murtagh was about to exit, the submarine suddenly lurched sideways. Murtagh stumbled out the door as the submarine started rising rapidly to the surface. It broke the surface at a breakneck speed, and launched into the sky.

Meanwhile, the Striking Vipers were in trouble. "The submarine has sprung several leeks," said Bart. "Most of them I can plug with something small, but I doubt the submarine can take much more."

"Well, this is it," said Wallace. "My only regret is not getting Lucas Lee's autograph."

Fang started charging at the submarine, about to deliver the final blow, when suddenly it lurched to the left and crashed into a wall of rocks.

"What the?" asked Kim as Fang turned his attention back to them. Before he started moving though, his jaws seemed to be forced open from the inside. And inside Fang's mouth was . . .

"Corphish," yelled Kevin. "Though he looks a little different from before."

"That's not Corphish," said Ash. "That's Crawdaunt. Corphish must have evolved inside Fang's stomach."

Crawdaunt burst from Fang's mouth, before turning to face it. Without a word from Ash, it delivered a powerful Iron Claw into Fang's nose, and then followed it up with a Hydro Pump. Fang was blasted from the water and disappeared over the horizon.

"Good work Crawdaunt," said Ash. "Now, grab the case and get us outta here."

Crawdaunt dived down to the seafloor and grabbed the case. Coincidentally, that was the moment Murtagh also grabbed the case. Crawdaunt used Iron Claw again, forcing the breath out of Murtagh's lungs. Crawdaunt grabbed the case in one claw, and swam up to grab the submarine in the other (though this was significantly more difficult to grab). Crawdaunt managed to slowly drag the submarine to the shore, where the Striking Vipers piled out to the safety of the land.

"Striking Vipers win again," said Chris as he picked up the suitcase. "Now, if the Giant Sharks make it back to land, they'll have to vote someone off." As he said this, a large shadow appeared over him. Stepping slightly to the right, he managed to avoid being crushed by the falling submarine. The Giant Sharks piled out, more thankful to be alive than disappointed at losing the challenge.

As Chris and the Striking Vipers left, Murtagh returned to shore. "Sorry about that," he said, ringing out his shirt.

"Sorry is right," said Light. "I know that Pokémon of Ash's was in its natural element, but you could have at least tried to act like you weren't throwing the challenge for us."

"WHAT?!" yelled Murtagh, drawing his sword. "Even I need air in my lungs underwater, even if I am immortal."

"Don't play dumb with me," said Light. "You and Katniss have been trying to get rid of me for weeks. I just didn't realise you were so desperate to do so you'd throw a challenge just to get rid of me."

Murtagh flinched, knowing that he'd suggested doing this several weeks ago. But he couldn't know about that . . . could he? "You have no proof," said Murtagh, trying to make Light back down. Sadly, Light just smiled at this.

"I observed your fight with the lobster, whatever it's called, while we were falling back to earth" said Light. "I'm not sure what it was about that blow, but I don't believe it really winded you that badly. I'm aware that you're not much better than most of us underwater when it comes to air, but I would think you'd be tougher than that."

"That thing really did wind me," growled Murtagh defensively, but Light wasn't done yet.

"And then there's the matter of Thorn," said Light. "You said he's several miles out to sea to feed. Why did he have to be that far out? We all know from experience that sharks come right in here, and this was demonstrated by that one with feet we just saw. Why couldn't Thorn be in here to feed and maybe, just maybe, have saved our lives when we were about to drown, and won us the challenge?"

Murtagh stared at him in shock. He hadn't said anything untrue, but he phrased it in an untruthful way. "Light, I will swear to you in the Ancient Language I didn't lose this challenge intentionally," said Murtagh. "No-one can lie when speaking the Ancient Language, so anything I say will be true."

"Ah, yes, the Ancient Language," said Light. "A language that only YOU know, so you could say anything, and no-one would know. In fact, since the Ancient Language is also the Language of your magic, you could trick everyone here to vote me off."

Murtagh became visibly frustrated at this. "Garjzla, ono eru aí orúm."

Once Murtagh spoke the words, Light raised his fist and punched himself in the stomach. He let out a groan of pain and fell to the ground. "Why would you make me do that?" wheezed Light, clutching his stomach.

Meanwhile, the rest of the team watched in horror at what was unfolding.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"I have no idea what Murtagh said. I just knew no-one else did either, so I punched myself in the stomach. I think I might now have one less problem. Bye-bye Murtagh."

**Confession Cam: Murtagh**

"That *beep* Light is too freaking good at lying. He has to go."

**Confession Cam: Zidane**

"So now I know what Katniss needed me for. But I can't support intentional losses just to get rid of someone, so I'm voting for Murtagh."

Later at the campfire ceremony . . .

"Alright campers, time for someone to go," said Chris. "There are six of you, but only five marshmallows. Marshmallows are symbols of safety, at least for this week. That will leave one of you without a marshmallow, and that person will take a one way trip off the Island via the Blast of Shame. And you will never be allowed to return. Ever. The following contestants are safe." As Chris said each name, he threw them a marshmallow. "Katniss. Marty. Zidane. Light. You guys are all safe." The camera focused on Carly and Murtagh at this point. "Carly, Murtagh. I have only one marshmallow left. That means one of you is going home. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera rapidly switched between Carly and Murtagh, showing fear in both their faces. "Carly." The final marshmallow landed in her lap.

"Damn it," said Murtagh as he was dragged away to the cannon. "Guys, I swear, Light is the bad guy, not me. He's playing you all for fools. He must be stopped." Chef crammed him into the cannon and fired it. As he flew through the air, Thorn came out of nowhere and caught him on his back. "Exactly as planned Thorn," said Murtagh. "I trust you did this for the other contestants too?"

"_Of course,"_ replied Thorn. _"Though I'm not sure Chris will appreciate us staying around here to continue saving the contestants."_

"Like he can do anything about it," said Murtagh.

Meanwhile, back on the Island . . .

"Oh, so that's what happens to the eliminated contestants," said Chris. "Guess Fang has been starving these last few weeks. Anyway, will the Giant Sharks finally heed Murtagh's warning? How much longer can the Giant Sharks keep losing? And will we do anything about Thorn saving the contestants? The answer is no for that last one, but the answers to the other two questions can be found out next time, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	13. Total Drama All Stars Aftermath Part II

**Episode 12: Total Drama All Stars Aftermath Part II**

_Aftermath intro plays, with scenes featuring the eliminated contestants sliced in._

**Annabeth**

"Yes, I'm afraid of spiders. It's a fear all children of Athena share."

**Sabriel**

"Are you blackmailing me?"

**Alice**

"*beep*, I haven't fed since Day 1."

**Rachel**

"I should spearhead this challenge. I have years of singing experience, and I've actually written songs before."

**Murtagh**

"Thorn's several miles out to sea hunting. I might be able to let myself out to win us the challenge by using the Ancient Language to keep the water out as I leave."

_Intro finishes, and cuts to a stage with Geoff and Bridgette._

"What's up, dudes?" said Geoff. "Welcome to another totally awesome episode of Total Drama All Stars Aftermath. I'm Geoff."

"And I'm Bridgette," said Bridgette. "And we have a lot of awesome stuff crammed into this episode. We've got all five contestants eliminated since last time, as well as That's Gonna Leave a Mark, some never before seen footage, and Truth or Whatever-Horrifically-Dangerous-Creature-Geoff-Has -Managed-To-Get-His-Hands-On."

"Ha, pretty sure we have Izzy for that," said Geoff.

"Actually, we don't," said Bridgette. "Once Hit-Girl regained consciousness after our last episode, she started hunting Izzy, so she's gone into hiding."

"Whoa, I didn't know there was anything that could force Izzy into hiding," said Geoff. "Well, other than the RCMP. Guess I'll have to make other arrangements."

"Well, how about you do that while I introduce this week's Peanut Gallery," said Bridgette.

"Okay, thanks Bridge," said Geoff, grabbing his phone out as he left the stage.

"Okay then," said Bridgette. "Well, joining us this week in our rotating peanut gallery, we have Blamely." An intern rolled a still heavily bandaged Blaineley onto the stage. It was hard to tell, but she seemed to be glaring at Bridgette for that remark. "Cameron." Cameron walked onstage waving, before struggling to pull himself up onto one of the raised chairs of the Peanut Gallery. "Cody." Cody walked onstage, and gave two thumbs up to the crowd as he sat down. "Courtney." Courtney came onstage talking on the phone, in a heated argument with someone. "Dawn." Dawn seemed to float onstage, before taking her seat. "Jo." Jo walked onstage carrying a pair of dumbbells. The intern that got a concussion from Eva last time saw them, and immediately ran away. "Owen." Owen blasted himself onstage with a powerful fart, before walking the rest of the way to the seats. Unfortunately for the intern, Owen's gas was aimed directly at him, knocking him out. Coincidentally, Jo chose that moment to discard her dumbbells, which landed on the intern's head. "Sam." Sam came onstage playing his PlayStation Vita before taking his seat. "And Trent." Trent came out onstage holding his guitar, before taking his seat. "So hey guys, what do you think of the show so far?"

"Oh, man, that Bart kid is awesome," said Owen. "He's one seriously cool party dude."

"Are you serious man?" asked Sam. "He's working for Light. He doesn't deserve to win. Now, Zidane, he should win. He reminds me of someone, but I can't think who." At this, Sam returned to his PS Vita, where he was playing Dissidia.

"I personally believe Katniss will win," said Dawn. "She's fighting a losing battle to get rid of Light, and holding her own well. She deserves it."

"As a fellow guitarist, I have to support Marty," said Trent. "Unless Light completely corrupts him."

"I'm supporting Kim," said Cody. "She's hot."

"Okay, that's sorted," said Geoff, walking back onstage.

"You've found something dangerous to make our guests tell the truth?" said Bridgette. "How'd you do that on such short notice?"

"All will be explained soon," said Geoff. "For now, let's bring out our first guest."

"Okay," said Bridgette. "Our first guest was eliminated after finding out about Light's mysterious notebook. She's the world's best anti-necromancer, please welcome Sabriel." Sabriel walked out onstage and sat down. "So Sabriel, what's up?"

"What's up is that Light is a freaking murderer, and I'm the one who gets eliminated," said Sabriel bitterly.

"Yeah, that's tough. I had the same thing happen in season three with Alejandro," said Bridgette.

"Mmrr, rrm mr," said Blaineley under her bandages. Realising she couldn't be understood, she ripped the ones over her mouth off. "No you didn't. You fell for his charming good looks and personality. Sabriel was just blackmailed."

"Shut up Blaineley," said Geoff. "So, who do you think will win?"

"Light," said Blaineley.

"I was talking to Sabriel," said Geoff. "Why would I want to talk to you?"

"You invited me on the show," replied Blaineley.

"You were contractually obliged to do this," said Bridgette.

The audience laughed as Blaineley backed down. "My manager is so fired," she said.

"Well anyway, I'm putting my support behind Ayane," said Sabriel. "She's one of the only girls left, and I want to support my own team."

"Hold on a sec," said Geoff, holding the earpiece he was wearing. "Awesome. My dangerous surprise is here. So Sabriel, how would you like to play a game of Truth or Chef?"

_An animation featuring the words Truth or Chef appears, followed by Chef cutting through the words._

"Really Geoff? You got Chef?" asked Bridgette. "And how'd you get that animation made so quick?"

"First, you try getting something dangerous at such short notice," said Geoff. "And second, I don't know, but someone's getting a pay rise." Geoff then turned back to Sabriel. "Okay Sabriel, here's how it works. Bridge and I will ask a series of questions, and you have to tell the truth, or Chef gets a free shot at you with whatever he's got."

At this point, Chef was pushed onstage. "Why do I agree to do this stuff?" muttered Chef as he took his position across from Sabriel.

"So, Sabriel, what was the deal with the whole stealing from Light thing?" asked Bridgette.

"Light has a dangerous object with him," said Sabriel. "His notebook can kill you."

Geoff and Bridgette looked at each other, stunned. "Riiiight," said Geoff. "Chef, if you would."

"I thought I was only meant to attack her if she lied," said Chef.

"Wait, then that means . . ." said Geoff.

"Yes, Light has an evil notebook that can kill people," said Sabriel. "I met his Shinigami."

Geoff and Bridgette exchanged confused looks, and then decided not to question this. "Well, I know you and Kim are friends," said Bridgette. "So I wanted to ask: what do you really think of Kim's crush on Light?"

"It's harmless if she doesn't do anything," said Sabriel. "Unfortunately, Light knows, so I'm worried she'll be brought over to his army of darkness."

"Yeah, that's going to be a problem," said Bridgette. "Now, I think we have someone from home who wants to talk to you."

A giant TV screen dropped down from the roof, which soon showed King Touchstone on it. "Hello? Sabriel? Are you there? I don't know if this thing's doing anything."

"Yes, it's on Touchstone," said Sabriel.

"Oh good. I never know if any of this technological sorcery is working," said Touchstone.

"I told you before, it's not sorcery," said Sabriel. "And anyway, I have some big news for you."

"I already know you lost Sabriel," said Touchstone. "Mr Producer told me that when he got here."

"Umm, actually, it's something else," said Sabriel. "You see . . . I'm pregnant."

A collective gasp rose from the entire studio, and then shocked silence. Finally, Blaineley broke the silence. "Who's the father?"

Sabriel glared at her. "The guy on the screen, a.k.a. my husband," she said.

"Pfft, that's not scandalous," said Blaineley. "Where's the juicy gossip in that?"

"Life isn't all about scandals Blamely," said Geoff. "Sabriel, Touchstone, let me be the first to say congratulations guys. That's awesome."

"Yeah, that's really cool," said Bridgette. "Though I'm not sure it's good for the baby's health to be dropped in shark infested waters, attacked by giant spiders and fired out of cannons."

"You people are hopeless," said Blaineley. "You there, wheel me outta here. These people know nothing about entertainment." These words were directed at the unconscious intern, who nobody had bothered to move. When he didn't move, Blaineley groaned with frustration, but otherwise did nothing.

"Speaking of things that are bad for babies," said Geoff, ignoring Blaineley. "It's time for That's Gonna Leave a Mark."

_An animation plays for That's Gonna Leave a Mark._

An intern is seen walking in the woods when he comes across a hanging thread. He pulls it once gently, then several more times fairly hard. Suddenly, the giant spider falls out of a tree and crushes him.

Zidane is seen expertly swinging from tree to tree, when he accidentally missteps and falls down the tree, hitting every branch on the way down, including several times between the legs.

Infernape is seen walking through the woods when a rustling is heard from a nearby bush. He jumps in and immediately starts attacking, only to realise that it was just Kevin taking a leak.

Marty and Rachel had just finished their performance, when Marty accidentally lifts the guitar up and hits Rachel under the chin.

And finally, as the Giant Shark's submarine crashed to the ground, a piece of metal from the back broke off and struck Chef, knocking him out.

The TV showing the clips rose back up to the roof. Geoff was laughing at the footage they'd just seen. "Aww, man, Chef," he said. "One little piece of submarine and you drop like a stone."

"Oh yeah?" said Chef. "How about I hit you with a large piece of metal and see if you stay conscious."

"Umm, no, I'm good," said Geoff, regretting laughing at a man who was twice his size.

"Well, how about we move on to our next guest shall we?" said Bridgette.

"Yeah, okay," said Geoff. "She aspires to be a Broadway star, yet lost a singing contest to a ten year old boy. Please welcome Rachel." Rachel walked onstage and sat down. "So Rachel, how are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you," she said. "Though I'd be better if I didn't make that stupid wager that I should have won."

"Yeah, not a smart move that," said Geoff. "Neither was only putting in a minimal effort. You should never do that with your elimination on the line."

"It doesn't matter," said Rachel. "Soon I'll be a superstar, and they'll realise my greatness."

"You go sister," said Courtney. "This world needs more women who don't need a man."

"Says the girl who pines over Duncan AND Alejandro," said Jo. "Seriously, when are you going to realise they're not interested." Courtney glared at her, but didn't say anything.

"So Rachel," said Geoff. "Sadly, you didn't get much airtime during your run . . . "

"What?" demanded Rachel. "I did lots of stuff. I rehearsed daily with Carly outside the cabin, I figured out where the giant spider was, I caught the fly Alice killed . . ."

"None of which was interesting enough to make the final cut of any episode," said Geoff. Rachel glared at him.

"Well, I think we should go on to your message from home," said Bridgette. Once again, the large TV dropped down from the ceiling, and soon the face of Kurt appeared on the screen.

"Hey Rachel," said Kurt. "Is TV stardom working out for you?"

"Sadly, no, but at least I tried," said Rachel.

"No you didn't," said Kurt. "You even admitted you didn't because you thought you had it in the bag. Maybe this is why we can't beat Vocal Adrenaline."

"Kurt, we both know that's not true," said Rachel. "We just need to get better."

"Yeah, I guess," said Kurt. "Well, I gotta go. Before I do though, that Wallace guy. Was he . . ."

"Pretty sure he was," said Rachel.

"Thought so," said Kurt, before calling to someone off-screen. "Hey Blaine, I told you he was . . ." The video cut off here, and the TV rose back up.

"Before you guys go to another interview, I wanted to tell everyone about my new restaurant," said Chef.

"You can legally sell people food?" asked Sabriel.

"I made you the best stuff I could on the miserable food budget Chris gave me," said Chef.

"Really?" said Rachel. "I could have sworn most of it was found on the bathroom floor."

"You still ate it didn't you?" said Chef. Rachel and Sabriel looked at each other, shock and disgust clear on their faces.

"We'll get to that later," said Geoff. "Right now, it's time for our next guest."

"Yes it is Geoff," said Bridgette. "She joined the competition to distract herself from her missing boyfriend, and somehow has a belly button despite being 'a child of the mind', whatever that means. Please welcome Annabeth." Annabeth walked onstage and took a seat.

"Annabeth, what's up?" said Geoff. "Welcome to the show."

"I'm fine, thank you Geoff," said Annabeth. "Although technically, I think you should have said those two sentences the other way around."

"Well, anyway, tough break about being eliminated," said Bridgette. "I mean, a giant spider? Who wouldn't freak out over that?"

"It's worse when you're biological designed to be scared of spiders," said Annabeth.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask about that," said Geoff. "What sort of mother intentionally makes her children scared of spiders?"

"It's because of what mother did to Arachne," said Annabeth. "Arachne claimed to be a better weaver than Mother, so Mother challenged to a weaving contest. Mother won, and turned her into a spider as punishment. Arachne swore she'd get revenge, and, well, there you have it. Hopefully I never have to meet her."

"Excuse me, but since when is arachnophobia genetic?" asked Cameron. "I had arachnophobia, but I got that from being bitten as a child. Surely yours is similar, possibly as a suppressed memory?"

"Did you take into account that my mother is a goddess, not a human?" asked Annabeth.

"Well anyway, Annabeth, we have a call from home for you," said Geoff. As he said this, the giant TV lowered from the roof. Shortly afterwards, Leo's face appeared on the screen.

"What's up Annbeth," said Leo.

"Hey Leo, how's it going?" said Annabeth.

"Me, I'm fine," said Leo. "As for the Argo II, well . . ."

"What? What's happened?" asked Annabeth.

"It's . . . kinda sorta finished," said Leo with a huge grin on his face.

"Damn it Leo, don't scare me like that," said Annabeth. "So we can finally go get Percy?"

"Yep, as soon as you get back," said Leo.

"Awesome," said Annabeth. "Hey, are Jason and Piper around? Can I speak to them?"

"Sure," said Leo, walking just off camera. "They're just over . . . WHOA! Jeez, sorry guys." Leo turned back to the camera. "Umm, sorry Annabeth. They're a little busy DOING something with EACH OTHER, if you catch my drift."

"Oh," said Annabeth, clearly understanding. "Well, good to speak to you anyway. I'll be back soon."

"Seeya Annabeth," said Leo, then the TV disconnected.

"Okay, I've waited long enough," said Chef. "If all goes well, my new restaurant will be opening after next week's show. It'll be called 'KFC'." Everyone gave him a confused stare.

"Umm, Chef, there's already a restaurant chain called KFC," said Trent.

"Yeah, but they only serve chicken," said Chef. "My restaurant is called Kentucky Fried Contestant."

"Oh, I get it," said Owen. "You're going to open a fired food restaurant with all the dishes named after Total Drama contestants."

"Err, yeah, of course," said Chef. "Come on down next week for a little piece of loser."

"Wow, that sounds really cool," Geoff said. "But now, we have to move on to our next guest."

"That's right Geoff," said Bridgette. "She's psychic vampire who was kicked out of the contest because she forgot to feed herself. How did she not see that coming? Please welcome Alice." Alice walked out on stage and took a seat.

"Now Alice, before we begin," said Geoff. "Have you eaten since your elimination?"

"Yeah, I drained a mountain lion before I came here," said Alice. A shocked gasp came from the audience. "Hey, it was attacking a hiker." The crowd settled down when they heard this.

"I have to ask: how can you forget to eat?" asked Bridgette.

"I was focusing all my energy on what Light was doing, and how to stop him," said Alice. "As a result, I forgot pretty much everything else, including when I last ate, which I don't do as frequently as you humans."

"I understand completely," said Dawn. "Once when I was trying to connect with Mother Nature, I was focused so hard that after I finished talking to her, three days had passed."

"Exactly," said Alice. "Psychic powers are a blessing and a curse. They help you a lot once they work, but the cost can be extreme."

"Yeah," said Dawn. "Except my powers are more general psychic, as opposed to those of an oracle."

"True, though I've got more speed and strength than I know what to do with," said Alice.

"Are you challenging me?" asked Dawn.

"Whoa, that would be awesome," said Geoff. "But first, Alice has to receive a call from home." The giant TV once again dropped down from the roof, and Jasper appeared on the screen.

"Hello Alice," said Jasper. "How are you?"

"Hi Jasper," said Alice. "I'm fine. How's everything at . . ."

"Come on Alice, right here, right now," said Dawn.

"Settle down," said Jasper, looking down at Dawn.

Dawn, who was about to strike Alice, suddenly stopped where she was standing. "Huh. I suddenly lost my will to fight," said Dawn.

"Yeah, Jasper has that effect on people," said Alice. "Now, like I was saying, how's everything at home?"

"Everything's fine," said Jasper. "Except . . ." Suddenly, Jasper was pushed out of the way, and Caius was on the screen.

"Alice dear, what the hell were you thinking?" demanded Caius. "You know full well that we don't appreciate vampires being revealed to the humans in such a public forum."

"And you went on international TV to tell me this?" asked Alice.

Caius sat in silence for a minute. "Shut up," said Caius. "We're going to come over there and . . . hey, where'd she go?" Sure enough, Alice had disappeared.

"Guess we don't get to see the psychic battle then," said Geoff. "But we still have something you guys will want to see."

"That's right Geoff," said Bridgette. "You guys like never before seen footage? Well, we managed to find something Ayane might find interesting."

"That's right folks," said Geoff. "Ayane was originally coaxed into competing in Total Drama because Chris told her that her sister Kasumi was hiding at Camp Wawanakwa. This was a complete lie."

"Or was it?" asked Bridgette. "We keep seeing strange things on the forest cams, and we don't know what to make of it. Is it possible that Ayane's claim from episode 4 was right? Check out this montage."

The giant TV drops down from the roof, and starts playing clips from around the forest. First, there was a shot of a squirrel eating an acorn. Suddenly, there was a ninja star in its back, and a hand quickly snatched it up. However, the rest of the body couldn't be seen. Next, there was a shot of someone jumping between trees, but nothing could be seen of them except a trail of red hair. Finally, there was a shot of Ayane walking through the forest. She turned her head to the sound of some rustling in the trees, and fired a tranquiliser where it was. Within seconds, the tranquiliser was flung back at Ayane, hitting her in the neck. As the tranquiliser took effect, a shadowy figure with red hair fled the area.

"What do you think guys?" asked Bridgette. "Real or fake?"

"Totally real," said Geoff. "The only other person who could do that is Kim, and why would she hide from Ayane like that?"

"Well, I don't think it's real," said Sabriel. "Chris said she wasn't there, and of all the places in the world she could hide, why there? It doesn't make sense."

"Maybe she's trying to hide in plain sight," said Sam. "You know, throw off the scent by getting as close to the enemy as possible, where they wouldn't think to look."

"Well, whatever it is, you can rest assured that we'll find out what it is," said Geoff. "We'll hopefully have more in the next episode of Aftermath."

"Now, before we go Geoff, we have one final guest," said Bridgette. "Should we bring him out?"

"Yes we should," said Geoff. "The most recent elimination from Total Drama, he was part of Team Anti-Light, he has his own dragon, and our only male guest tonight. Please welcome Murtagh." A couple of loud booms are heard, accompanied by a couple of crashes. Suddenly, Thorn's head appears from the side of stage, and Murtagh appeared next to him before taking his seat.

"So, Murtagh, Thorn, what's up?" asked Geoff.

"My answer is pretty much the same as Sabirel's," said Murtagh. "Light. That cunning *beep* is taking down contestants left and right, and gaining powerful allies just as easily. It's Galbatorix's rise all over again."

"_Except this time we weren't forced to cooperate with the villain_," said Thorn in everyone's mind. Everyone looked at each other in surprise for a moment.

"So, what's the deal with you and Thorn?" asked Bridgette. "I mean, I sorta get that he talks telepathically to everyone, but is he, like, your pet or something?"

Murtagh looked horrified at the thought. "Foolish woman," said Murtagh. "Do you really expect a powerful dragon to simply bow down to me like a common dog? Thorn and I are equal. Seriously, Thorn is as intelligent, if not more so, than any human."

"Okay, well, I have a question," said Cody. "How many chicks do you get with a dragon? I might get myself one."

"You do not choose your dragon," said Murtagh. "The dragon chooses you." Murtagh paused for a moment before continuing. "In answer to your question, more than I can handle." Cody looked impressed.

"Well, let's hope you've been keeping your hands off them," said Bridgette. "Because we have a call from home for you, and I don't think she'd appreciate that." The giant TV screen once again descended from the roof, and once again a person appeared on the screen. This time, it was Nasuada.

"Hello Murtagh," said Nasuada. "So, this is what your self-imposed exile is then?"

"Queen Nasuada," said Murtagh, somewhat surprised. "To what do I owe this unexpected call?"

"The producers wanted to make you talk to someone from home," said Nasuada. "Not sure why they picked me. I'm also not sure how they're sending this. Some kind of new scrying technology I assume."

"They're called cameras," said Murtagh. "I don't get it either. So, what's happening in Alegaesia?"

"Well, we're trying to repopulate the dragons," said Nasuada. "And since you and Thorn are . . . somewhere, and Eragon and Saphira have decided to leave Alegaesia, that means Arya and Firnen have left the kingdom, so our main weapons of defence are gone."

"You've got alliances with humans, elves, dwarves, Urgals, and werecats," said Murtagh. "Any one of those in large enough numbers would be enough to defeat any opponent. Besides, who'd want to challenge someone who helped bring down Galbatorix?"

"True," said Nasuada. "Though I'd prefer we had at least one dragon here."

"Don't worry, we'll come back someday," said Murtagh. "Assuming Chris doesn't have any more nasty surprises for us."

"Come home soon," said Nasuada. "I . . ." She looked like she was about to say more, something important, but the screen cut out.

"Ohh, tough break, we're out of time," said Geoff. "Guess we'll never know what Nasuada was going to say."

"You could call her back," said Murtagh.

"We could," said Geoff. "But instead, let me just say that you guys better stayed tuned for next time, when we'll have more eliminated contestants, more exclusive footage, and more mayhem, right here, on Total Drama All Stars Aftermath." The screen cuts to black, and Murtagh's enraged yell is heard.


	14. Fire in the Hole

Episode 13: Fire in the Hole

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "We finally disposed of the corpse of Sasquatchanakwa. Rest In Peace, you huggably violent beast. Our teams competed against each other to find submerged treasure, guarded by our resident walking shark, Fang. In the end, despite the fact Fang should have favoured them because of their name, the Giant Sharks lost, and Light worked his magic to make it seem as though Murtagh threw the challenge. Crafty as ever." The scene cuts back to Chris on the pier. "Who will smoke on the water? Who will be shot down in a blaze of glory? And who will let the mother*beep* burn? Find out the answers to all these right here, in this sizzling episode of Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Carly was sitting in the mess hall when Katniss approached her. "Hey Carly, can I talk to you?" asked Katniss.

"Yeah sure," said Carly.

"Okay, good," said Katniss. "Let me cut to the chase: I need an ally to get rid of Light. I asked Zidane, but I don't think he actually listened. And since I'm pretty sure that Marty is helping Light, that leaves you."

"That guy is a jerk," agreed Carly. "But I'm not sure I want to get mixed up in all this, in case it doesn't work and it comes back to eliminate me."

"Please Carly, I need you," said Katniss. "Light needs to go down, and I can't do it alone."

Carly was silent for a moment. "I'll think about it," she said. "But I assure you, I will not help Light. That I will guarantee you."

"I guess that's as good as I can hope for," said Katniss. As Katniss went to leave, she didn't notice the movement from just outside the door. Light made sure to be well gone before Katniss saw him.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Okay, so I can't get Carly onside too. And I'm not sure Zidane will be loyal to me. Oh well, me and Marty outnumber Katniss anyway. Guess that'll have to do."

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"Please Carly, I need you. For Haruhi. And Finn. And Murtagh. And a few other contestants I wouldn't be surprised he had a hand in eliminating."

Meanwhile, in the Striking Vipers cabin . . .

"Hey Bart," said Kevin. "I've been meaning to ask you: how'd you get that video of Sabriel raiding Light's bag?"

Bart looked up from watching that video for the umpteenth time. Even after watching the video so many times, it was still enjoyable watching Sabriel suddenly freak out. "Oh, ah, Light gave it to me," said Bart.

"Really? Why would he do that?" asked Kevin. "I mean, I never see you guys talking."

"Oh . . . ah . . ." Bart was at a loss for words. Light was insistent that no-one would ever find out about the alliance. He had to say something, before . . .

"Oh my god," said Kevin. "You're in an alliance with Light." That happened.

"What about it?" asked Bart. "He said he'd take me to the final two, and in this game I'll take whatever advantage I can."

"Even one where you get rid of useful teammates?" demanded Kevin.

"Oh yeah? Like who?" asked Bart.

"Haruhi, Annabeth, Sabriel . . ." started Kevin.

"Hey, I had no part in Haruhi's elimination," said Bart. "Apart from voting for him/her."

"Well, don't expect to get rid of anyone else," said Kevin. "I'm telling everyone to get rid of you next."

"Bring it on," called Bart as Kevin left.

"Campers, meet at the far side of the beach for today's smoking hot challenge," came Chris's voice over the loudspeaker.

"Jeez, is he gonna spend all day telling us about the fact we're doing something with fire?" asked Wallace.

Twenty minutes later . . .

"Campers," started Chris. "Welcome to . . ."

". . . today's burning challenge?" asked Ayane. "We get it. There's something to do with fire."

Chris glared at her. "You know, just because I forbid Alice from doing that, doesn't mean I approve of someone else doing it," said Chris. "I think you should just let it burn."

"Alright, what's the challenge then?" asked Marty.

"Straight to the point eh?" asked Chris. "Like a moth to a flame. Chef, fire it up."

"Please stop doing fire puns," said Zidane. As he finished talking, the forest in front of them suddenly erupted into flames. Several contestants who were standing too close lost eyebrows.

"Your challenge today is to make it through that inferno," said Chris. "Yep, you've gotta make it through the fire and the flames to carry on."

"You're just doing that to tick us off aren't you?" asked Kim.

"What surprises you about this?" asked Chris. "Now, I'd like to assure you all there is a safe path. Emphasis on the 'a'. The team with the most members to get through without getting sent to a burn ward wins."

"Wait a minute," said Light. "The other team have six members, and we only have five. Even if all of us make it through the challenge, and I'm not sure we will, the other team could send all their members through and win."

"Hmm, good point," said Chris. "Let's do it by percentages then. Whichever team gets the highest percentage of members through the blaze wins."

"Hey," said Ayane. "That means that if they get all their members through, and I'm not sure they will, and we only get five people through, they win despite only putting the same number through."

"I could just sit this one out," said Wallace.

"Really?" demanded Ayane. "You didn't do anything in Capture the Rag, and you were unconscious for the capture a dangerous animal challenge, now you're sitting this one out?"

"Come to think of it, have you ever actually done anything to help us win?" asked Kim.

"I provide moral support," said Wallace. "From a distance."

"So you can't even provide moral support well," said Ayane. "How have we not eliminated you yet?"

"In any case," interrupted Chris. "Wallace sits this one out, leaving the teams at five each, and therefore fair? Okay? Okay. Go."

Both teams approached the blaze cautiously, amazingly contained despite the immense size. "Maybe it's synthetic?" suggested Katniss.

"Synthetic fire?" queried Marty.

"Yeah, it looks real but emits absolutely no heat," said Katniss.

"Well, let's see then," said Carly. Before anyone could stop her, she had entered the fire. Within seconds, everyone heard her screaming as she ran out. "Nope, real," she said between screams.

"Go, Buizel," yelled Ash. The orange ferret-like Pokémon popped out of its Pokéball. "Water Gun on Carly, now," he called. Buizel quickly fired a steady stream of water onto Carly, extinguishing the flames.

"Are you okay?" asked Zidane, helping her to the ground.

"I was just on fire. Of course I'll be fine," said Carly sarcastically. "Sorry guys, but there is no way I'm going back in there. And get your hands off those." Zidane immediately removed his hands. "On another note though, I did see what looked like a path completely unaffected by the fire."

"Well, I think that about settles it then," said Light. "We carefully find the path, and hope Chris hasn't planned any more nasty surprises."

"Don't count on it," said Marty. "Also, where are the Striking Vipers?" Sure enough, the Vipers had already disappeared into the blaze, except Buizel who was tending to Carly.

Inside the inferno . . .

"I choose you, Oshawatt and Kingler," said Ash, bringing out two of his Pokémon. "Guys, we need you get rid of some of these flames so it's safer for us to get through." The two Pokémon focused their attention on the fire. However, instead of dousing the flames, they seemed to grow taller. "What the . . ."

"Oh, forgot to mention," called Chris, talking to them from the safety of a helicopter through a megaphone. "This fire grows stronger whenever you pour water on it. Good luck."

The Striking Vipers stared up at him in disbelief. "Wait," said Ash. "That means Carly . . ."

"AHHH!" screamed Carly.

"I'm so glad I'm not you right now," said Wallace.

"Are you just gonna stand there and watch me burn?" demanded Carly.

"It just makes you so hot," said Wallace. Carly glared at him, before again screaming in agony.

Meanwhile, the Giant Sharks had just entered the inferno.

"Oh God, my lungs are burning," said Marty.

"Suck it up, we need you," said Katniss. "Unless Carly changes her mind, we all have to get through here in order to hopefully win."

"Don't worry guys, I got Body Temp on," said Zidane, strutting through the flames easily.

"I have no idea what he means by that," said Light, holding part of his shirt up to his mouth to filter the air.

"Everyone, since smoke rises, it would be better if we stay low," said Katniss, crouching low. "Take this from someone who already escaped an inferno made by a psychopath."

"Can't argue with that logic," said Light, following suit.

"Hey guys, I can see the other team," said Zidane. Sure enough, just ahead of them was the other team. Kevin looked like he was going to pass out from exhaustion soon, but the others were holding strong. "Come on, if Kevin goes down we can at least tie this up this." The four Sharks made the charge, though Marty tagged behind, unable to keep up.

Up ahead, the Striking Vipers noticed the other team approaching. They also noticed something else.

"Look guys, the exit," called Bart. Dead ahead of the contestants was a section of forest not in flames, with a finish line clearly marked out.

"I don't think I'm gonna make it guys," said Kevin, as he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Weakling," said Ayane, slinging him over her shoulder. Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her side. Looking down, she noticed that Kevin's hand was on fire. Quickly smothering the fire, she assessed the damage. "Well, he's got third degree burns," said Ayane. "Luckily it didn't get through my clothes."

"That's great and all," said Kim. "Except for the fact that the Giant Sharks are winning now." And they were, though Marty was getting slower and slower.

"Can't . . . keep . . . going," gasped Marty, falling over.

Katniss saw him fall, and immediately turned around. "Zidane, help me get Marty outta here. Light, you go finish before you pass out too." Light was only too happy to oblige.

Zidane turned around, and together with Katniss the two of them dragged Marty out of the fire. Almost at the same time that the Sharks crossed the finish line, the Vipers emerged and quickly crossed the line too.

"Congratulations campers," said Chris. "I was convinced that at least some of you were goners. Anyway, let's see who won." Chris looked the Striking Vipers over carefully. "Okay, five of you made it out, but one of you has burns. That means you've ended up with four points." Next Chris inspected the Giant Sharks. "Okay, there are four of you, but again, one of you has burns . . ."

"What? No we don't," said Zidane.

"What's that on Marty's back?" asked Chris.

The Giant Sharks looked at Marty's back, and there they saw a small fire. Quickly, his team went about putting it out.

"Okay, so, with a score of four to three, the Striking Vipers win again," said Chris. "Giant Sharks, looks like you'll be joining me at the elimination ceremony. Again."

The Striking Vipers cheered at their unexpected victory, while the Giant Sharks started thinking about who they were going to vote for.

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"I'm voting for Marty. I know Light's a bigger threat, but seriously, we were ten feet from the end. Surely he could have collapsed there."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"I guess Carly will have to go. Partly because she will never side with me, partly because she has burns on 94% of her body."

Later, at the elimination ceremony . . .

"Campers," started Chris. "Since this is your fourth week in a row here, I'm sure you have a very good idea of how this works. I have four marshmallows, there are five of you. That means four of you are safe. For now. The person who does not receive a marshmallow will be forced to take the Blast of Shame and will never, ever ever, be allowed to return. Ever. Now, Katniss, Zidane and Light, you guys are all safe." As he said each of their names, they each received a marshmallow. "That leaves Marty and Carly without a marshmallow. One of you is going home tonight. The other gets fired from cannon. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera switched between a nervous looking Marty, and Carly with her fingers crossed. "Marty." Marty sighed in relief as he received his marshmallow. Then, to everyone's surprise, Carly cheered.

"Umm, Carly, you lost," said Marty.

"I know," said Carly. "But in case you haven't noticed, I'm a little crispy right now. I decided to quit by voting for myself."

"She's right," said Chris. "According to the rules of this season, voting for oneself means you quit. That and she also got the most votes."

"Okay, so, since I'm in bad condition, does that mean I take a safer method out of here?" asked Carly.

"Nope," said Chris. "I can't be seen to have favourites. Everyone leaves the same way."

"Surely they'd make an exception for this," said Carly as Chef dragged her to the cannon.

"You'd think that," said Chris. "But no. Chef?"

Chef fired the cannon, and Carly was heard screaming over the horizon. "Now that was a good one," said Chef.

"Yeah, haven't had a good screamer for a while," said Chris. "But now, will the Giant Sharks still exist next week? Will Carly survive the Blast of Shame? And will we be renewed for a second season? Find out the answers to the first and last of those questions next time, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

**Author's note: That last question was directed at you, the audience. I'm seriously considering doing another season of this FanFic, and even have some awesome ideas for it, so if you guys want it, I'll do it. Just let me know.**


	15. If You Can't Say Something Nice

Episode 14: If You Can't Say Something Nice . . .

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Katniss tried to recruit Carly to help get rid of Light, but couldn't get far. Kevin discovered Bart is working with Light, and was about to tell everyone when I gathered them for the day's challenge: a literal Highway to Hell. I couldn't wait to burn them to the ground. Anyway, after Marty, Kevin, and Carly all suffered burns, the latter of which was to over 90% of her body, the Giant Sharks lost yet another challenge, and for the first time this season, a contestant, namely Carly, quit. Didn't stop her getting fired from a cannon though." The scene cuts back to Chris on the pier. "Who will choke on their words? Who will watch what they say? And . . ." Chris held his hand up to his earpiece, trying to hear what was being said. "What did you say? Really? You've gotta be kidding me. Okay, whatever." Chris turned back to the camera. "What was that about? Find out right here in Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Light and Bart are seen sitting on the pier. "So Bart," said Light. "You're telling me that Kevin knows of our alliance?"

"Is it a bad thing?" asked Bart.

"It depends," said Light. "If your team keeps winning, then you'll be safe for a while. If, however, my team wins the next challenge, Kevin has a very good excuse to get rid of you, and enough evidence to back his claim. He may have to be the next target."

"Done," said Bart. "Now, what's the deal with you and Kim?"

"I've told her I'm interested in dating her," said Light. "Sadly, because we're on different teams, we can't do it. Hopefully something will happen soon that'll help remove this obstacle. We could use another ally."

"Okay," said Bart. "And Marty?"

"I've got him onside," said Light. "However, he does not know about you, since I can't risk him seeing my, shall we say, shady side. Like Kim, once I find a way around this, we will be the final four."

"Excellent," said Bart, with his palms together and his fingers tapping against each other.

Meanwhile, in the Giant Sharks cabin . . .

"Zidane, we need to talk," said Katniss.

"Katniss, I swear I can change," said Zidane.

"Not that," said Katniss. "I need an alliance, and you're now the only one I can turn to."

"Oh, right," said Zidane. "Yeah, sure, I'm in."

"You're sure?" said Katniss. "Because last time I asked you, I'm pretty sure you weren't listening."

"I'm sure Katniss," said Zidane. "You want my help getting rid of Light and possibly Marty."

"Only Light," said Katniss. "I'm pretty sure Marty's just under Light's spell. We get rid of Light, we get Marty back."

"We should still get rid of Marty after Light though," said Zidane. "Then it'll just be the two of us, alone in the cabin . . ."

"In your dreams Zidane," said Katniss, leaving the cabin.

**Confession Cam: Zidane**

"She's totally into me."

"Campers, your next challenge starts just as soon as I'm off the phone with the network," said Chris's voice over the loudspeaker.

"Network? I thought we were just some nerd's fan fiction," said Ayane.

"Shh, he can hear you," said Marty.

Twenty minutes later, at the amphitheatre . . .

"What do you mean, you're waiting for the people to decide if they want a second season?" demanded Chris to someone on the phone. "You asked them last week. Surely they've responded by now. Yes, I know you write these a month in advance, but can't you just edit something into this episode? I don't want to wait until episode 17 to find out about the future of the show. Yes, I know you control what I say. Yes, I know I'm a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater. HEY! Okay, I'll get on with the episode, but this isn't over." Chris hung up the phone and faced the contestants.

"Who was that?" asked Kim.

"The producer," said Chris. "But anyway, time to tell you about today's challenge."

"Don't you mean today's suicide?" asked Wallace.

"Don't worry," said Chris. "Today's challenge isn't that dangerous if you do it right. Speaking of which, I have some good news and some bad news."

"Is the bad news that this challenge is more dangerous than suicide?" asked Ash.

"Nope. It's worse than that," said Chris. "Originally, this was going to be a non-elimination challenge, but . . ."

"Yo, yo, yo, this year's winner is in the house," said some kid who suddenly appeared next to Chris.

"Ezekiel, I told you to wait until I called you," said Chris.

"Oh, come on eh," said Ezekiel. "They can't be deprived of me forever."

"Hold on, let me get this straight," said Light. "To make this season more interesting, you decided to bring back one of the old contestants?"

"Not my idea," said Chris. "Allow me to explain. Shortly after Total Drama Action, Ezekiel got a record deal, and released a rap album. We didn't pay any attention to it because, let's face it, it's Ezekiel. Anyway, the album went triple diamond, and he made gazillions of dollars out of it. And before you say 'gazillion' isn't a number, they actually invented it for him. Anyway, Ezekiel had so much money, he didn't need to compete in World Tour. He just got greedy. After Revenge of the Island, Ezekiel used some of that money on plastic surgery and rehab so he could look human again. Now, because he wants to get that money back, he hired a high price lawyer who found some minute loophole in the rules that allowed him to join this season. A loophole that is now closed, thank you."

"What was the loophole?" asked Kevin.

"Never mind," said Chris.

"So, I assume Ezekiel is on our team," said Katniss.

"Nope," said Chris.

"What? He's on the Vipers? That gives them seven members to our four," said Zidane.

"Wrong again," said Chris. "Time for the good news. As of this moment, the two teams are officially dissolved. From this point on, it's every camper for themself. Katniss, you can move your stuff into the Striking Vipers cabin. Ash, Bart, Ezekiel, Kevin, and Wallace, you'll all be moving to the Giant Sharks cabin."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Perfect. Now no-one will care if I've got a few alliances."

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"I don't like the idea of Light having such access to most of the guys, particularly the ones I'm sure aren't on his side . . . yet."

**Confession Cam: Ezekiel**

"Finally, eh. I finally won't come last in the season eh. Maybe that's the only reason I can't win: it's because I can't make it past the first episode."

"Now, time to tell you about today's challenge," said Chris. "Like I said, not that dangerous . . . unless you make it dangerous. All you have to do is tell the truth."

"Is that it?" asked Bart. "That's WAY too easy."

"Not quite," said Chris. "You have to say what you really think about all your fellow contestants. You get one point for every time you tell the truth. The one who gets the most points gains invincibility from tonight's vote. Any questions?" No-one spoke. "Okay, let's start. Let's see the first one alphabetically is . . . Ash."

"Wait a sec," said Light. "When sorting names, normally you start with last names, which would be . . . actually, what are Ayane and Ezekiel's last names?"

"Non-existent," said Chris. "So, we're going by first names."

"But normally . . ." started Light.

"Shut up," said Chris. "It's challenge time. Oh, and by the way, to make you tell the truth, I'll let Chef show you what we've got in store for you."

Chef walked up on stage, wheeling out with him some kind of machine. "This here machine is a lie detector," said Chef. "But not just any lie detector. This is has been specially customised by me to electrocute you with twenty thousand volts at the slightest hint of dishonesty. So, even if you can't say something nice, you'd better say something, or fry. I'm kinda hoping for the fry though. My restaurant opening flopped with no food to serve."

Ash gulped nervously, and several others looked worried. Ash stepped up to the stage, allowed himself to be strapped into the machine, and began speaking. "Ayane, you are the strongest woman I know, because I've never seen a person do better in a fight than Infernape. Katniss, I've seen you with a bow, and you're an impressive archer. Kim, you're a beautiful girl who can do better than Light. Zidane, I believe you've stolen the Pokéball with Primeape in it. Give it back before I unleash his full fury on you. Ezekiel, you are a smart AHHHH!" This last part was spoken as twenty thousand volts suddenly charged through Ash's body.

"Ooh, so close," said Chris. "Four points. Next up, Ayane." Ayane jumped up on stage as Chef unstrapped Ash and flung his body offstage. She got strapped in and began speaking. "Bart, you're an annoying pipsqueak. Kevin, you're not entirely useless. Light, you are a conniving, manipulative *beep*. Wallace, you are a lazy little *beep*. Ash, you I kind of respect. Kim, you I actually do respect, apart from your relationship with Light. Zidane, I will break you if you don't give me back my last tranquiliser. Marty, I have no strong feelings for you one way or the other. And Katniss, you're a good fighter." Ayane then began undoing the straps on the machine.

"Hey, whoa," said Chris. "What about Ezekiel?"

"What about Ezekiel?" demanded Ayane as she undid the last strap.

"Good point," said Chris. "That's nine points to Ayane. Not bad. Bart, you're up."

Bart stepped up onstage, and Chef strapped him into the machine. "Now, feel free to lie while you're up here, kid," said Chef. "I don't think I'm gonna get much outta that Ash kid."

"Huh?" asked Bart

"Nothing," said Chef, walking offstage.

Bart hesitated a minute, unsure what to make of Chef's comment, but then started speaking. "Light, as far as I'm concerned, you're the only smart guy here. Ezekiel, you can *beep* off. You don't need the money. Wallace, you're cool. You seem to pay more attention to dudes than chicks. Kevin, get with the times. No-one uses tape recorders these days. Marty, same deal. Ayane, for a chick, you're coo . . ." Bart was suddenly cut off by the machine electrocuting him.

Chris and Chef came onstage. "Not gonna get much outta him either," said Chef, unstrapping Bart.

"I really don't think you should be saying that on national TV," said Chris. "Anyway, five points. Next up we have Ezekiel."

Ezekiel stepped onstage and got strapped into the machine by Chef. "I think . . ." started Ezekiel, but was cut off by the machine electrocuting him.

"Surprised he lasted that long," said Chris as Chef removed Ezekiel. "Zero points. Katniss, you're up."

Katniss walked onstage and allowed herself to be strapped into the machine. "Kim, you were fun to fight. Please never get reaped in the same Hunger Games as me. This applies to you too Ayane. Zidane, you come across as a creepy monkey, but you're a good guy at heart. Please give me my bow back. Wallace, do you . . . umm, 'prefer Adam and Steve', if you get my meaning. Ash, I honestly don't think you should be storing animals in those tiny balls. Ezekiel, you're an idiot. Bart, you're a sexist pig. Marty, you need to stop hanging out with Light. He's a bad influence. Kevin, Carly's not interested in . . . AHH!" In case you haven't guessed, Katniss was electrocuted. "Hey, that was true." Again, she got shocked. This time though, she passed out.

"Ooh, so close to full points," said Chris. "Still, eight is pretty good. Kevin, if you would."

Kevin got up onstage as Chef removed Katniss's still smouldering body. As he got strapped in, he began talking. "Ezekiel, you suck. Wallace, you're not so bad . . ." At this point, Kevin got electrocuted, obviously not learning from his opponents that lying doesn't help.

"I love this game," said Chris. "One point. Okay, our next victim is Kim."

Kevin's body was removed from the machine, and Kim replaced him. "Ash, your Pikachu's the only cute thing about you. Bart, I could kick your butt if I wanted, and trust me, I'm very tempted to. Zidane, where is my bra you sick *beep*? Ayane, you're awesome. Can you teach me some of those moves? Same with you, Katniss. Marty, I know you and Light are friends, so if you could get him to talk to me, we'll be BFFs. Ezekiel, I guess you're sorta cute . . ." Liar.

"So, even though Light is sitting in the audience that she's talking to, she still feels the need to ask one of his friends to ask him to ask her out," said Chris. "Typical cheerleaders. Six points. Speaking of Light, he's up. This should be good."

Light walked onstage, and sat down as Kim's body was removed. As soon as Light was strapped in, the machine seemed to start electrocuting Light. However, Light still made a start. "Kevin, I respect your intelligence, and would like to say that your concerns are unfounded. Wallace, you really should make more of an effort to be competitive. I never saw you actually help your team at any point. Marty, I . . ." Finally, the machine could take no more, and let off a powerful discharge.

"Pretty sure that was more than twenty thousand," said Chris. "Two points. Marty, you're up."

Marty took the seat once Light was cleared from it, and started speaking the second he was strapped in. "I have the greatest respect for all my fellow contestants." The machine did nothing, and Marty said nothing more.

"Well, I guess that counts," said Chris, disappointed with the lack of injury. "I guess that means you get a full score, and have immunity from tonight's vote. Wallace, you're up."

Wallace sat in the chair and got strapped in like everyone else, and started speaking. "Ash, just an FYI, I have informed PETA of your storing of large animals in tiny balls. They said they made a video game based on it to raise awareness. Light, you are a despicable yet sexy *beep*. Bart, you're a brat, and since your name is an anagram of it, I think your parents knew this from the start. Katniss, your attempts to get rid of Light are futile . . ." Wallace's body suddenly started convulsing as the electrocution took effect.

"I'm not sure why he would lie about that," said Chris. "Well, he gets three points. Zidane, you've seen everyone but Ayane and Marty electrocuted for lying. Surely you won't make the same mistake."

"Everyone else did," said Chef. "I wager he will."

"You're on," said Chris as Zidane was strapped into the chair.

"Kevin, you make things tricky to steal. Ezekiel, I've known you half an hour and can already tell you're an idiot. Katniss, please go out with me. Marty, I refuse to believe a nice guy like you would help Light. Kim, please go out with me. Light, you're a good for nothing, dirty rotten piece of *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeep*. Ayane, please go out with me. Wallace, you seem like a lively kinda guy . . ." Apparently, Zidane didn't learn from his fellow contestants, and was electrocuted like most of them.

Chris scowled, then paid Chef. "Well, there we have it. Marty wins, so he has immunity from tonight's vote. Everyone else, decide who you want gone."

"Err, Chris?" asked Chef. "Wouldn't that just be Ayane?"

"Come on Chef," said Chris. "We still have eleven episodes, including two Aftermath specials this season. We can't do that with only two contestants."

Chef sighed. "Okay, I'll take them to the infirmary," said Chef. "I guess I'll have to find a different business venture."

Three hours later, when everyone had recovered somewhat . . .

"So, who are you losers voting for?" asked Ezekiel.

"You know, you shouldn't call your competition losers," said Light.

"But I've got a feeling I'm going to win this season," said Ezekiel. "By the way, I'm voting for Kevin."

"Why?" asked Kevin. "For telling the truth?"

"I'm starting to understand why you never make it past the first episode," said Ayane.

"Who cares what you think? You're just a dumb girl," said Ezekiel.

The shocked silence that followed was broken at about the same time as Ezekiel's arm.

**Confession Cam: Marty**

"Look, Light wants me to get rid of Katniss, but honestly, that Ezekiel guy is just horrible. I'm voting for Ezekiel."

**Confession Cam: Kim**

"Ezekiel."

**Confession Cam: Wallace**

"Ezekiel."

**Confession Cam: Ash**

"Ezekiel."

**Confession Cam: Ezekiel**

"Kevin."

Later, at the elimination ceremony . . .

"Alright campers," said Chris. "There are eleven of you left, but there are ten marshmallows on this plate. That means that one of you is going home via the Blast of Shame, and you will never, ever ever, be allowed to return. Ever. The following campers are safe." As Chris spoke each name, he threw a marshmallow to them. "Marty, Ayane, Katniss, Zidane, Kim, Bart, Ash, Wallace, and Light. You're all safe." The camera turned to a nervous looking Ezekiel (with his arm in a sling) and a confident looking Kevin. "Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night. One of you will get it. The other will be blasted off this island from that cannon. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera started quickly jumping between Kevin and Ezekiel. "Kevin." The final marshmallow landed on Kevin's lap.

"What? That's not fair eh," said Ezekiel. "I'm meant to win this season."

"And you might have," said Chris. "If you weren't so universally hated, and if you were actually a good competitor. Chef, if you would."

Chef grabbed Ezekiel and dragged him to the cannon. "Hey Chris," said Chef. "Since Ezekiel got eliminated in the only episode he competed in, does this make this episode . . ."

"Yep," said Chris, firing the cannon. "Pointless filler." He then turned to the camera. "Have we seen the last of Ezekiel? Will we bring back any other classic Total Drama characters before the end of the season? And what havoc can we cause between now and the season finale? The answer is no for the first two, but find out the answer to that last question over the next eleven weeks, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	16. The Rollerchriser

Episode 15: The Rollerchriser

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Since half the original cast was gone, we decided to dissolve the teams, so each camper would have to fend for themself. So how did we end up with eleven contestants? Because Ezekiel is a greedy little *beep*. The contestants were made to tell us what they think of each other, or be electrocuted to within an inch of their life. Because Ezekiel couldn't keep his mouth shut, he got booted, keeping up his record of being eliminated at the first opportunity." The scene cuts back to Chris on the pier. "Who will survive on their own? Who will need others to survive? And who will simply not survive? Assuming our lawyers will allow that last one, find out the answers right here on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Light and Marty walked out onto the pier, where Bart and Kim were already waiting. "Okay, looks like everyone's here," said Light. "Let's get down to business."

"Before that, I have a question," said Bart. "I thought this alliance would be dudes only. Why is Kim here?"

"I never made such a rule," said Light. "Seriously Bart, there's a reason Kim made it this far, and it's not just her looks." This got an approving glance from Kim.

"So, what's the plan?" asked Marty. "Do we just work together until we're the final four, then it's every man and Kim for themselves?"

"I'd like to think of it as friendly competition as the final four," said Light.

"So, who do we go for first?" asked Kim.

"Katniss has been after me for longer than anyone else," said Light. "And I fear she's starting an alliance like ours to overthrow me. She's a strong competitor, so she'll be tough to beat, but if she goes, the rest will follow."

"I don't know," said Kim. "I mean, I think she's kinda cool. Do you really think she's that bad?"

"For us, yes," said Light. "We need to remove her soon. She has Zidane helping her already, and Kevin would probably be willing to help her. If we can crush them while we outnumber them, we will win."

"And how do you know all this?" asked Marty.

"I have my sources," said Light. Marty and Kim glanced at each other, unsure what to think of this.

Meanwhile, up in the trees, Ayane heard the whole thing.

**Confession Cam: Ayane**

As she is speaking, she is seen scribbling on a piece of paper. "I'm not really on anyone's side here, but honestly, I just can't allow Light to win. Anyone else would be fine . . . except Wallace. Which reminds me: how the hell did he get this far?"

"Attention campers," said Chris. "Your next challenge will be in ten minutes. Meet at the giant sheet covering something huge at the edge of the forest."

As Ayane left the Confession Cam, she folded the paper into a ninja star and threw it into the girl's cabin. She then turned left and noticed the giant sheet covering something. "How did I not notice that?" she asked herself. She looked closer and saw what looked like a red-haired girl in blue on top of the sheet. Ayane rubbed her eyes to check again, but she was gone.

Ten minutes later, at the giant sheet . . .

"Campers, I'm sure you're wondering what's under this sheet," said Chris.

"Not really," said Bart. "We peeked under while we were waiting for you."

Chris glared at him. "Well, okay, here it is again, today's challenge." Chris pulled the cover back, revealing a giant rollercoaster. How he managed to remove a cover that large by himself is anyone's guess. "Introducing, the Rollerchriser." In front of them sat the rollercoaster cart, with Chris head on the front.

"Please stop naming things after yourself," said Katniss.

"No deal," said Chris. "Now, this beautiful machine has one purpose in life: eliminate the weak. More specifically, the weak stomached. The Rollerchriser is designed to make you throw up, and as soon as you do, it will eject you from the cart. If you're lucky, you will land on one of these carefully placed mattresses." Chris indicated a nearby mattress, which had a spring clearly sticking out of it.

"Ha, piece of cake," said Kevin. "I've been on plenty of rollercoasters back home. This'll be easy."

"Or will it," said Chris. "Enter Chef." Chef came up, dressed like he worked at a carnival, and pushing a cart carrying hotdogs and milkshakes. "After each ride, you will be required to eat one hotdog and drink one milkshake. Otherwise we could be here for days."

"You magnificent *beep*," said Wallace.

"I know," said Chris. "Last one to spew wins invincibility from tonight's vote. Now, because I'm kind, you don't have to have anything before you get on the Rollerchriser, but you can if you wish." Surprisingly, no-one took him up on this offer, and just took their seats. "Oh well, your loss. Happy spewings."

"Hey Chris, just a quick question," said Ash. "How fast does this thing gWHOA!" Ash was cut off as the Rollerchriser suddenly took off at an extremely high speed.

The Rollerchriser swerved around corners, several loop-the-loops, tunnels, and almost vertical drops (almost because they were at such an angle, they actually went back inwards). On top of the ferocity of the Rollerchriser's speed, when the ride ended it was a very suddenly stop, which would have thrown everyone forward if not for the protective bar. Despite the ride only lasting a minute, the campers actually travelled a full mile.

"In answer to your question Ash," said Chris. "That fast. Now, hotdogs and milkshakes for all."

The contestants all looked woozy, but none threw up. Each managed to keep down their food, though some didn't look like they'd make it back the Rollerchriser. They did, but it didn't look good. Obviously, they didn't make it around the Rollerchriser a second time.

Despite his tough guy speech earlier, Kevin was the first to go. Hardly five seconds after the ride started, he spewed, and was immediately ejected from the ride. Kim was the next to go, though she at least made it halfway around. Light was the third and final contestant to throw up on this trip. Unfortunately for him, he did it in one of the tunnels, so when he was ejected, he slammed into the roof. His unconscious body then rolled out of the tunnel and fell to the ground, narrowly missing a mattress.

"Okay campers, seven of you left," said Chris as the remaining contestants got off the ride. "Anyone hungry? Thirsty? Well, you're gonna have to be, because you've gotta down another hotdog and milkshake."

The contestants reluctantly started eating their food, though it was clear none of them really wanted to eat it. In fact, Zidane actually threw up while eating. He was promptly ejected from the spot he was standing.

"Don't remember setting that one up," said Chris.

"Me either," said Chef. The two of them gave each other a confused look, then shrugged it off.

"Okay, that leaves six of you," said Chris. "Off you go." The contestants groaned, but they still piled into the ride. This time around however, no-one threw up. "Well done," said Chris. "You're all still in. Eat up, because we need to get rid of another five of you."

Each contestant continued feasting on the puke-inducing food, but somehow after another three runs, no-one else had dropped from the competition.

"Okay, this is getting ridiculous," said Chris. "How are you people still standing?" Several contestants looked like they were going to answer, but could only talk in sick groaning sounds rather than actual words. "It can't be much longer. Chef, feed them."

"I'm all out of hotdogs," said Chef. "And these milkshakes have almost dried up."

"What? Where'd all our milkshakes go?" asked Chris.

"Well, they did bring a lot of boys to the yard," said Chef.

"Oh yeah," said Chris. "Well, go make some more. Yours would be better than mine."

"Damn right they're better than yours," said Chef, leaving to restock. Meanwhile, as the remaining contestants got back on the ride, they breathed a sigh of relief that they didn't have to eat anything this time around.

The contestants got back into the ride, and it started its wild trip again. As the cart ascended one of the hills, Ayane happened to look over into the trees. There she saw her, a red-haired girl in blue, hiding in one of the trees. Kasumi, she was sure it was. Ayane opened her mouth to yell out.

Big mistake. That was the only thing holding back a long wave of vomit. This got her ejected immediately. What was worse was that she was sitting near the front of the ride, so gravity took hold and brought it back to earth. And anything in between, like, say, four other contestants. Unfortunately for Ash, Bart, Katniss and Wallace, the ride was designed to eject anyone with vomit on them, so this ended the ride for them.

Marty (the only contestant in front of Ayane) didn't notice a thing until the ride came to a stop. He got out of the ride (barely) as Chris approached him. "Congratulations Marty," said Chris. "You've won today's challenge, so you are immune from tonight's vote." In response to this, Marty threw up on Chris's shoes. "Charming," said Chris. "Okay everyone, decide who you're getting rid of. I'll see you at the elimination ceremony tonight."

Most of the contestants were still barely able to walk, and Light was still unconscious. However, some contestants were able to muster enough speech to talk.

"Ayane, what the hell?" demanded Ash. "Why'd you get me kicked out?"

"I wasn't trying to," said Ayane. "I saw Kasumi, and . . ."

"She's not here you know," said Wallace.

"I know she's here," said Ayane. "I saw her in the trees, and was going to call out to Chris to stop the ride . . ."

"It was probably Kim," said Bart.

"Why would it be Kim?" demanded Ayane. "Besides, Kim was wearing black. Kasumi wears blue. There's no way I could confuse the two."

"Whatever you say," said Katniss, walking away to vote.

**Confession Cam: Bart**

"Well, we don't have Light to guide us, so I'm gonna vote for the person who made me lose the challenge. So long Ayane."

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"I like to think I'm a better person than Light, so I'm not going to vote for him while he's unconscious. Ayane, goodbye."

**Confession Cam: Ayane**

"Get the *beep* outta here Wallace. Now, hopefully I can still find Kasumi."

**Confession Cam: Light**

He didn't say anything. His unconscious body just sat there until it slumped over.

**Confession Cam: Marty**

"I'm voting for Kevin. That kid needs to learn to back up what he says."

Later at the elimination ceremony . . .

"Alright campers," said Chris. "There are ten of you left, but on this plate sit nine marshmallows. That means one of you will miss out on their chewy goodness, and consequently, the million dollars at the end of the series. The rest of you will still be in the running. At least, until next week. Now, the following contestants are safe." As he read each name, he threw them a marshmallow. "Bart. Wallace. Katniss. Light." His marshmallow bounced off his head. "Zidane. Kim. Ash. And Marty. You are all safe." The camera showed a shot of Kevin and Ayane, both looking nervous. "Campers, there is only one marshmallow left on this plate. That means one of you will he going home via the Blast of Shame, and will never, ever ever, be allowed to return. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera rapidly cut between Kevin and Ayane, both looking nervous. "Kevin." The final marshmallow carefully landed on his lap.

"What?" demanded Ayane. "You can't do this. I still have to find Kasumi."

"Nice try," said Chris. "But like I said when you first arrived, she isn't here."

"No, damn it, she's here," said Ayane as Chef dragged her away. "Don't do this to me." Her pleas went unanswered though, as Chef loaded her into the cannon and fired.

At this point, Light woke up, shaking his head in confusion. "Am I too late to vote?" asked Light. "Because I want to eliminate . . ."

"Too late," said Chris. "We already blasted Ayane across the horizon."

"Oh, so I don't have to keep hiding then," said a voice. A collective gasp arose from the campers as Kasumi came out into the light.

"Wait, so you really have been here the whole time?" asked Chris.

"Yeah," said Kasumi. "Why did you think Ayane was so insistent that I was here?"

"Honestly, I thought she was just crazy," said Chris. "Speaking of crazy, what insanity have we still got planned for our campers? Who will we send to the nuthouse? And who have we already sent cuckoo? We may or may not answer those questions and more, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	17. Headhunting

Episode 16: Headhunting

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "With the teams merged, Light was finally able to get his secret alliances to join forces publically. Ayane decided to warn Katniss that she was in serious trouble, but before she could tell her in person, the contestants were gathered to compete in the day's challenge. Why she didn't just tell her while they were gathered is a mystery to me. Anyway, after a few trips around the Rollerchriser, we slowly reduced the field down to six. But, due to a surprise visit from Kasumi, we lost five more contestants in one go, thanks to Ayane. Guess who took the Blast of Shame." The scene cuts back to Chris on the pier. "Who will lose their head? Who will lose their cool? And who will just lose? Find out the answers to these questions and more, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Light and Kim were alone on the pier, staring out to sea. "It's a beautiful view, isn't it Light?" asked Kim.

"Only half as beautiful as you," said Light, leaning in closer to her. Kim nestled her head into his chest.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"I cannot believe women fall for that sappy crap."

"Light, I want to ask," said Kim, angling her face up to look at him. "Your plan is to get me, you, Bart and Marty to be the final four."

"That's right," said Light. "If all goes well, we will be all that remains in five weeks."

"But what about after that?" asked Kim.

"What do you mean?" asked Light.

"Once we're the final four, does it just become anyone's game, or do you intend to bring one of us to the end?" asked Kim.

"Already planned that," said Light. "How does me and you in the final two sound? Chris will love it: the two lovers of the series battling it out for the grand prize. A dramatic conclusion to a dramatic series."

"You're choosing me?" asked Kim, stunned and blushing. "Because I heard Bart say . . ."

"I only told him what I needed to say to get his vote," said Light. "This alliance consists of almost half the remaining contestants. That means we don't really need him once we get rid of everyone else."

"But how do I know you're serious?" asked Kim. "You could always . . ." But before she could finish, Light brought his lips to hers, and kissed her passionately. It was only seconds later that they broke apart, but Kim was completely breathless.

"Does that answer your question?" asked Light, smiling down at her. Kim was still too shocked to speak.

"Campers, meet at the mess hall for today's challenge," said Chris's voice over the loudspeaker.

"Well, we better get going then," said Light, getting up and walking back up the pier.

Kim stayed where she was for a little while, but eventually got up and started moving back to camp. On her way there, she heard a voice in the nearby bushes, calling her. She peered in, and saw Wallace hiding there. "Hey, what are you doing here?" asked Kim. "Shouldn't you be heading to the challenge?"

"This is more important," said Wallace. "Look, I've seen the way Light's been playing this game. I want to ask you: do you really believe what he's telling you?"

"Of course I believe him," said Kim. "Do you really think he'd admit to liking someone if he didn't?"

"With one million dollars on the line, yes I do think he'd do that," said Wallace.

"What do you know? I doubt you've ever had a girlfriend," said Kim. "You probably have no idea how a guy in love would act."

"I don't want a girlfriend, but I know how a guy in love would act," said Wallace. "That's beside the point though. My point is that he doesn't care about you. Maybe he was serious about getting you to the final two, or maybe he's already made a deal with Bart or Marty and told them the same story he told you."

"He wouldn't do that," argued Kim.

"Yes, just like he wouldn't get rid of innocent contestants," said Wallace. "Honestly Kim, I'm lazy, but I'm not ignorant. I've realised something: Haruhi, Finn, Annabeth, Sabriel, Alice, Murtagh, none of them were as accidental as you think. Light planned each of those eliminations carefully to make sure no-one noticed. Except I did, and he overlooked me because I'm not a threat to him that he knows of."

"You lie," said Kim, though she wasn't sure she believed what she said.

"Watch him carefully Kim," said Wallace. "He will turn on you the second you become a liability to him."

Kim stared at him in horror. "I don't know if I should believe you," said Kim. "But if I do, what should I do?"

Wallace placed a hand on her shoulder and started guiding her to the mess hall. "You have to break up with Light," said Wallace. "Tell him whatever you want, but break up with him and side with Katniss."

Kim smacked his hand away from her. "You're just an agent for her, trying to get me on her side aren't you?" she demanded. "I should have known Light would never do anything like you've said."

"I'm on no-one's side," said Wallace. "I just don't want to see Light lying to a perfectly innocent girl anymore."

"Yeah right," said Kim, marching off to the mess hall.

Wallace shrugged his shoulders and followed. "I tried," he said to himself. "Don't blame me when he breaks your heart."

Five minutes later, outside the mess hall . . .

"Campers, time to introduce today's challenge," said Chris. "Chef, give them their maps." Chef emerged from the mess hall, carrying a pile of rolled up maps, each with a camper's name on it.

"Let me guess, we've each got an individual treasure, and the first one to get it wins?" asked Zidane.

"Close," said Chris. "Each of you has an individual treasure, but your goal is to guard it. The maps show the way to a wooden replica of your own head. You must either protect it from fellow campers, or attempt to mark a fellow campers head with these markers." Chef handed out a bunch of coloured markers. "You may not move any of the heads out of their hiding spots. Breaking any of these rules will disqualify you from the challenge. The camper to mark the most heads will have immunity from tonight's vote."

"Wait, so if we can't move our heads how are we meant to defend them AND go for someone else's head?" asked Katniss.

"Don't worry, you are allowed to set up traps and other defences around your head with whatever you find," said Chris. Katniss looked satisfied at this. "Okay, you have one hour to find your head and set up any defences. Go."

Wallace was the first to find his head, which was located on the roof of the communal washroom. Light found his under the pier on the beach. Kim's was sitting on a low branch in a tree at the edge of the forest. Bart located his at the amphitheatre, hidden in the stands. Ash's sat at the campfire, atop of Chris's podium. Katniss discovered hers in the middle of a clearing in the forest, with several trees surrounding it. Marty found his at the sight of the towering inferno challenge (and desperately hoped they had removed it). Zidane found his in Sasquatchanakwa's old cave, and Kevin's sat on a rock in the middle of a river.

"Perfect," said Kevin, noticing plenty of things to use for traps. Immediately, he started gathering rocks, and weaving some vines into a net.

Meanwhile, Ash brought out his current team to protect his head: Tauros, Heracross, Sceptile, Gliscor and Krookodile, with Pikachu to stay with him. Katniss started setting up snares, and Light buried his head. Since technically he wasn't moving it, this was a legal move. Kim climbed a few feet up the tree, then tore at the bark until she got a long strip of it. She then dropped to earth with it, and carefully laid the strip (still attached to the tree) in such a way that it hid her head, while still looking like the bark naturally peeled down. Zidane, Bart, Marty and Wallace didn't do anything to hide or protect their heads, the first three because they thought their head were fairly well hidden, Wallace because he couldn't be bothered.

"Okay campers, you have six hours to mark as many heads as possible. Your challenge starts now," said Chris over the loudspeakers. The campers finished setting up their defences (if any), then set out to trying and win. All except for Wallace, who sat watching his head.

Within five minutes, Bart had found Kevin's head. Carefully, he started wading through the water towards the head. He didn't notice that Kevin had set up a tripwire under the water. Which means he certainly didn't notice that he set it off. He did however notice the rocks that fell from the net above him. Sadly, this wasn't until it was too late to move. The falling rocks fell on Bart's head, knocking him out. He floated on down the river until he reached a nearby waterfall. No prizes for guessing what happened next.

Meanwhile, Ash and Pikachu had found Katniss's head. "Hey Pikachu, looks like Katniss left this unguarded," said Ash.

"Pika pika," replied Pikachu, which could have meant anything from 'you're right Ash', to 'I have a nut allergy'.

"Okay, let's do this," said Ash, taking out his marker. Ash crept carefully forward, and was suddenly flung six feet into the air. Pikachu jumped onto the ground, only to be caught in another trap.

"Well, well, look what I've got here," said Katniss, coming out from behind a tree. "Looks like you two have been caught in two of my eight four snares."

"You set up eighty four snares in an hour?" asked Ash.

"Years of practice," said Katniss. "Anyway, now that you're here, I have a proposition for you."

"I'm listening," said Ash.

"Team up with me and I'll let you down," said Katniss.

"And if I refuse?" asked Ash.

"Then you stay like that until the game ends," said Katniss.

"You wouldn't leave me hanging like this," said Ash.

"Okay, if you want to believe that," said Katniss, turning to leave.

"Wait," called Ash. "I'll do it."

Katniss returned to Ash, drawing her knife. "I knew you would," said Katniss. "One thing though: I have a sneaking suspicion that Chris will have some kind of penalty for being marked the most times. So, we don't mark each other's heads. Same goes for Zidane." Katniss started cutting away at the rope.

"Really? You told Zidane about this too?" asked Ash as Katniss helped lower him to the ground.

"Not yet," said Katniss. "But I assume that because we have an alliance, he wouldn't . . ." At this point, Katniss heard another of her snares go off. She turned to check what had happened. "Oh, for *beep* sake Zidane."

"What? I'm not allowed to win the challenge?" asked Zidane, hanging from a snare.

"Didn't you think Chris would have some kind of penalty for most marks?" said Katniss as she freed Pikachu. "By the way, Ash has just joined us."

"What? I thought it was just gonna be me and you," said Zidane. "I didn't know you wanted to see other people."

"For God sake, we're allies, not lovers," said Katniss.

"Okay, fine, as long as there's nothing emotional in it," said Zidane as he cut himself free.

Katniss sighed. "Okay, fine," she said.

"Sorry I have to be harsh on you, but it's just because I care about you," said Zidane as he dashed away.

Ash just stared at Katniss. "Is that normal?" he asked.

"Sadly, yes," said Katniss as she left. Ash soon followed.

Back at Kevin's head, Marty had just discovered it. Approaching from some bushes, Marty didn't notice another cleverly concealed tripwire. Not until it set off the trap that is: a log swung down from above and crashed into him, sending him flying. What was really unfortunate was that it sent him all the way to Katniss's head, where he immediately got caught in a snare.

Meanwhile, atop the communal washroom, Wallace was doing his best to fight off other contestants.

"Hey, don't make me threaten to come up there," yelled Wallace as Kim helped Light onto the roof. The two of them quickly marked Wallace's head and left. "Okay, that's it. I'm gonna come up there and tell you very sternly not to do that." But they'd already split up.

Kim darted off into the forest, climbing into the trees and jumping from branch to branch. She soon found Kevin's head. Kim carefully inspected the ground around the banks of the river, and noticed several traps set up, as well as what appeared to be where some traps had been. Seems some idiots actually fell for that, thought Kim.

She jumped from one branch to a slightly lower one overhanging the rock to try and get close enough to mark it. It never occurred to her that Kevin might have set up traps in the trees too. So, she didn't notice that the branch she was on was not actually attached to the tree; it was propped up from beneath to give the appearance of being attached. As Kim leaned forward to mark Kevin's head, the branch snapped, dropping her into the water. "Ha," she called when she resurfaced. "Is that all you've got?"

Nope. The falling branch fell on a vine, snapping it, and the cargo it was carrying (a large pile of rocks) fell on top of her. She followed Bart's example and fell over the waterfall.

"Ten minutes left," said Chris's voice over the loudspeaker as Katniss, Zidane and Ash met outside the mess hall.

"Alright, how many have you got?" asked Katniss to the two boys.

"I found five of them," said Ash. "Any idea where Light's is?"

"On the beach under the pier," said Zidane. "I found it on pure thief instinct. Oh, and I got five. All but mine, Kat's, Bart's and Kevin's."

"Wait, you got mine?" asked Ash. "How'd you get past my team?"

"And why?" asked Katniss. "We're all on the same team."

"This was before I knew about it," said Zidane. "And in answer to your question Ash, I came in from above. The bull and the croc couldn't leave the ground, so they weren't a problem. The flying scorpion thing I defeated by myself, and the scarab got its horn stuck in a rock trying to charge me."

"What about Sceptile?" asked Ash.

"The plant thing?" asked Zidane. "Please, I navigated the Iifa Tree. Like that thing was going to be a problem. Don't worry, I doubt anyone else could have touched it."

"Well, hopefully there's no penalty for being marked," said Katniss. "By the way, six."

"Sweet," said Zidane. "Ash, I say we let her mark our heads. That way, at least one of us has immunity."

"Done," said Ash, dragging Katniss to the campfire.

Ten minutes later . . .

"Alright campers," said Chris. "Some of you took a nasty blow to the head thanks to Kevin, so I better remind you that there was a challenge today." Marty, Bart and Kim glared at Kevin, who laughed nervously. "Needless to say, you guys didn't win. In the end, with the amazing achievement of finding all the other heads and marking them, Katniss wins. She is immune from tonight's vote. Now, for a cruel twist." The contestants glanced around nervously. "The one of you with the most marks gets one additional vote for tonight's elimination. That person, with nine marks is Wallace."

"Wait, nine?" asked Marty. "There are only nine of us left."

"Yeah, I got bored and started drawing on my head," said Wallace.

"And as a result, you've currently got one vote against you," said Chris. "Now, go vote, and I'll see you at elimination."

**Confession Cam: Kim**

"To vote for Wallace, who wants me to break up with Light, probably to get him for himself, or Kevin, who nearly killed me. Ooh, tough choice."

**Confession Cam: Marty**

"I know I'm repeating last week's vote, but Kevin has to go, and Katniss is unavailable."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Is Wallace working with Katniss? Don't know, but he's one vote closer than anyone else, and Katniss is immune."

**Confession Cam: Wallace**

"Light, you are the male Envy Adams: evil and sexy. The former is why you have to go."

Later, at the elimination ceremony . . .

"Campers, there are nine of you left," said Chris. "But, I only have marshmallows for eight of you. So, eight of you will receive a marshmallow, and the other will receive a one way trip home via the Blast of Shame, and will never be allowed to return. Ever. The following contestants are safe." As Chris read each name, he threw them a marshmallow. "Katniss. Bart. Ash. Zidane. Light. Kim. And Marty. You guys are safe." The camera cut to Wallace (looking apathetic) and Kevin (looking nervous). "Campers, there is only one marshmallow left. That means either Kevin or Wallace is going home. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera quickly jumped between Wallace and Kevin for several seconds. "Wallace." The final marshmallow landed in Wallace's lap.

"Aww, come on," said Kevin. "I capture a pair of criminals a couple of times, and this is how you repay me?"

"Considering you gave me a concussion, yes," said Kim as Kevin was dragged to the cannon. His scream was heard as they campers returned to their cabins.

"Well, that was entertaining," said Chris. "Do you know what else is entertaining? Watching Light's army fight for supremacy over the show, since they're now one half of the remaining contestants. Can Katniss do anything about that? Will Kim break up with Light? And have we been renewed yet? Come on people, my pay checks don't write themselves. Find out the answers to all these questions and more, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	18. Chef's Boot Camp

Episode 17: Chef's Boot Camp

The scene opens on Chef, standing on the pier. "That's right, I'm opening the show this time," said Chef. "Ahem, last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Useless tried to convince Stoppable to break up with Dark, but she thought he was just trying to get him for himself. Then we had our challenge: the contestants were all given a model of their head, and had to either guard it, or mark someone else's. In the end, Mockingbird won, and Calkin was eliminated after nearly killing half the contestants. It would have been nice try to and get KFC going again, but they all survived." The scene cuts back to Chef on the pier. "What am I planning for the contestants? What has Dark got in store for them? And where is Chris? Find out the answers to these questions, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Light was sitting down on the beach when Kim came up. "Hey Light," said Kim. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure Kim," said Light.

"I'm just concerned about the rumours about you," said Kim. "I mean, I've heard the whole Haruhi one, but there are other rumours I've heard about you doing something to get rid of some others."

"Really? Like who?" asked Light.

"Well," started Kim. "Alice and Murtagh were supposedly eliminated by something you did."

"Preposterous," said Light. "Alice was foolish enough not to feed herself, and Murtagh threw the challenge. There's no way I could have done that."

"Okay, well, what about Annabeth? Sabriel? Finn?" asked Kim.

Light sat up and looked at her. "Who's been feeding you this crap?" asked Light. "Honestly Kim, these allegations are ludicrous."

"Wallace told me you had some kind of involvement in all of them," said Kim, quickly realising her mistake of revealing her source.

Light smiled sweetly at her. "And you believed him? Honestly Kim, he's probably just bored from not competing."

"Well, you see, I thought about it a bit," said Kim. "And I'm not completely convinced. Apparently, Sabriel was eliminated because the guys on my team saw a video of her raiding your stuff, which you sent to Bart."

"She had to go," said Light. "She clearly had no respect for other people's belongings. Would you want someone like that winning the million?"

"Okay," said Kim. "But you claimed that Murtagh only pretended to be winded by Ash's Crawdaunt. But since it managed to carry our submarine and the treasure chest back to shore, it's obviously pretty strong."

"I never said it wasn't," said Light. "I just honestly believe Murtagh faked an injury, since he's quite a bit stronger than the rest of us. Surely he could have taken a punch like that."

"Haruhi warned Finn about you," said Kim.

"I'd already become friends with Finn by then," said Light. "I could only assume she was trying to break us apart because we were on different teams."

"What about Annabeth?" asked Kim. "She wanted Bart gone from week one, and since you leaked that Sabriel video through him, I think you had an alliance with him beforehand."

"I gave him the video because he was the first one I found," said Light. "It could just as easily have been any of you."

"And Finn," said Kim. "He was pretty keen to get rid of you, and went pretty quickly."

"Ayane was trying to hit Bart, and accidentally punched Finn into Chris's beach house," said Light. "Do you think I told him to say something really sexist to get Ayane annoyed enough to strike him?"

"I guess," said Kim, getting up. "I'm just being careful, since six people is quite a lot to be accused of eliminating."

"Don't worry about it," said Light. "Soon, we won't have to worry about any of them, and we'll be the final two."

"Yeah, can't wait," said Kim, giving Light a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving.

**Confession Cam: Kim**

"He's lying, I'm sure of it. I just don't know if I can bring myself to admit that Wallace, of all people, was right. I shouldn't have told him about Wallace, but I suppose if he goes tonight, that means Light is evil. That'll be the test."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"Wallace, for placing doubt in Kim's mind about my intentions, you shall be next. Kind of ironic saying that."

"Maggots, I mean, campers," boomed Chef's voice over the loudspeaker. "Meet outside the mess hall before I drag you out there myself."

"That can't be good," said Ash, marching out there.

Fifteen minutes later, seven of the campers had assembled outside the mess hall. Chef then walked up dragging Wallace behind him. "Alright maggots, today you're in my hands, and as you all know, they're hard, dirty, and can crush your bones and spirits."

"So, where's Chris?" asked Katniss.

"Chris is doing the final negotiations for season two," said Chef.

The camera cuts to a shot of Chris slamming a guy's head in a car door. "Are you going to renew the show?" demanded Chris, slamming the door on the man again. "Are you going to renew the show?"

The camera cut back to Camp Wawanakwa. "So, for now you answer to me," said Chef. "And you may not answer unless I speak to you by an insulting nickname or nicknames. Is that understood?"

"Sir, yes sir," said Zidane, saluting. This earned him a punch in the face from Chef.

"I didn't think anyone was stupid enough to break the rule that quickly," said Chef. "Now, get up monkey boy, or risk losing the challenge."

"I'm not sure he can breathe right now," said Katniss, kneeling beside Zidane. Chef immediately pulled out a Taser and zapped her.

"What did I tell you about speaking?" demanded Chef. "Now, today's challenge will not be easy. In fact, your survival is not guaranteed."

"So it's just like every other challenge?" asked Wallace, who was promptly kicked in the stomach.

"What don't you people get about not speaking?" demanded Chef. "Now, for the first challenge, you're gonna race to the bottom of the cliff." As Chef finished speaking, a golf cart pulled up beside him. "That means now," he yelled, and the campers started running towards the base of the cliff.

Kim was the first to arrive, though the remaining contestants weren't far behind (though in the cases of Zidane, Katniss and Wallace, they were struggling). Chef was already there waiting for them. "Now, maggots," he said. "For the next part of the challenge, you need to climb the cliff."

"WHAT!" yelled Bart. "That thing's like a thousand feet high."

Chef slammed his fist into Bart's chest. "Exactly," said Chef. "Now, if you want to give up, you're free to do so at any time. Just jump into the water below the cliff, which is right now mostly shark free." As he said that, a shark jumped out of the water. The contestants suppressed their panic as they began the climb up.

Wallace was the first to drop. After climbing barely two feet, he simply let go of the cliff and let himself be dragged back to shore. Bart fell next, but not until he was about halfway up. The rest struggled their way up the cliff, some for over an hour.

Eventually, the six remaining contestants collapsed at the top of the cliff panting, as Chef arrived. "Sixty seven minutes to climb a measly thousand feet?" demanded Chef. "Well, I am amazed you beat two hours. Well then, time for the next part of the challenge."

"Can't we rest here for a minute?" asked Marty. Chef delivered a powerful roundhouse kick to the side of his face.

"Your next challenge is to get down to the bottom of the hill," said Chef.

"Really? That easy?" asked Ash. Chef picked him up in one hand and slammed him into the ground.

"As I was saying," said Chef. "You need to reach the bottom of the hill, but it won't be easy, since I'll be chasing and throwing boulders at you." Chef paused for a minute, expecting one of the campers to complain. They didn't, so he continued. "If you are hit by a boulder, you will be disqualified. If you make it to the bottom, you proceed to the next round. You have ten seconds to get as far away as possible. Go."

The contestants dragged themselves away, except for Ash who stumbled around confused. Ten seconds later, Chef had struck him with a boulder. He picked up another to go after the campers, but they'd managed to reach the safety of the trees. "Well, now it gets interesting," said Chef, running down after them.

Kim climbed into a tree and hid there as Chef charged past, boulder above his head. As quietly as she could, she continued jumping through the trees. Katniss rolled herself in some mud and kept low to the ground, preparing herself to act as a patch of earth if necessary. Marty struggled on with Light, the two of them listening carefully for any sign of Chef. Zidane was the only one who wasn't trying to get down the hill, instead trying to rest up in some bushes.

Chef charged down the hill, keeping a carefully eye out for any sign of the contestants. That was why he noticed what appeared to be a piece of yellow rope coming out of a bush. Yellow rope that turned out to be Zidane's tail. Zidane took a boulder to the head, and Chef continued his search for campers. However, when he got to the bottom of the hill, he found the remaining four contestants waiting for him.

"Okay, so you've survived then," said Chef. "You're lucky I'm taking it easy on you."

"This is taking it easy?" asked Kim, then immediately regretted it. Chef picked up another boulder and hit her with it.

"Okay, your next challenge," said Chef, picking up a bunch of buckets of water. "You are to race to the mess hall, each carrying one of these buckets filled up with water. However, if you spill a single drop of water, you will be disqualified. The first one back there wins immunity from tonight's vote. Go."

The contestants each grabbed a bucket, several recoiling at the weight of them. However, they started towards the mess hall, a good three mile trek from there. Marty tried to push himself to keep going, but soon passed out from sheer exhaustion. Katniss took the lead early, forcing herself forward at all costs. Light and Kim are working together, she told herself. I have to beat them, so Light will go down.

Way behind her, Light and Kim were struggling towards the finish line. Crap, Light thought. Katniss is going to win again, and there's no way we'll catch her. Light and Kim pushed forward though, when Light noticed something odd about the ground. He examined it carefully, and smiled. Maybe they weren't out of this after all.

Katniss found the finish line, and pushed herself all the way there. She set the bucket down, and fell to the ground, almost unable to move. She was barely aware of Chef when he came up to her. "Congratulations, Mockingbird," said Chef. "You are the first one to cross the finish line. Unfortunately, you didn't win."

Katniss's head shot up, her exhaustion forgotten. "What are you talking about?" she demanded. "I won the race."

"Yes, but you broke the rules," said Chef. "I said you couldn't spill any of your water. You spilled most of it." Chef indicated the path she'd just taken to get there, which was splashed with puddles of water. Katniss screamed in frustration as Light and Kim rounded the last corner, and the two of them crossed the line at the same time.

"Congratulations, Dark and Stoppable," said Chef. "You have finished the race, and your buckets are still full. As a result, you will go to a tie breaker to determine who has invincibility tonight. Your tie breaker is . . ." Chef drew out an envelope from his pocket. "Wrestling. First one to get pinned loses."

Within minutes, the two of them were in a makeshift ring. The two of them circled around each other, then Kim struck forward onto Light. Light managed to hold himself up enough to not get pinned, but it was tough. "Kim," he said. "Let me win this."

"What? Why?" asked Kim.

"Because if I lose, Katniss will get her followers to eliminate me," said Light. "As far as I can tell, they don't harbour any ill feelings towards you, so you should be safe. Please?"

Kim thought about it for a moment, long enough for Light to push hard. Kim, taken by surprise, fell on her back, as Light pinned her to the ground.

"One . . . two . . . three," counted Chef. "You lose. Light is today's champion, and is immune from tonight's vote. I'll be seeing all of you losers at the elimination ceremony tonight."

Katniss screamed like she was being murdered, while Zidane and Ash led her away from the ring.

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"That son of a *beep* had to *beep* get himself *beep* immunity didn't he? *beep*." She sighed deeply. "I guess I'll vote for Bart."

**Confession Cam: Zidane**

"Katniss was too ticked off about Light winning to tell us who to vote for, so I'll vote for Marty and hope the other two do too."

**Confession Cam: Ash**

"I'm voting for Kim. If Light really cares about her, then hopefully her elimination will devastate him to the point of being unable to compete."

**Confession Cam: Light**

"With myself, Bart and Marty voting for him, Wallace is outta here. Asking Kim would only raise her suspicion. Let's see him leak information now."

Later, at the campfire ceremony . . .

"Alright twerps, you know how all this works," said Chef. "Seven marshmallows, eight of you, and a cannon waiting to blast one of you over the horizon. Honestly, if you didn't know that already, you deserve to be sent home now. So, the following contestants are safe." As he read each name, he threw the marshmallows with such force he knocked them off their seats. "Dark. Monkey. The Doctor. Hugo. Burnt. And Mockingbird. You are all safe." The camera turned to a nervous looking Kim and an apathetic looking Wallace. "Twerps, there is only one marshmallow left. It will go to either Useless or Stoppable. And that person is . . ." The camera rapidly cut between Kim and Wallace for several seconds. "Stoppable." The final marshmallow knocked Kim off her seat.

"Meh. Whatever," said Wallace as Chef dragged him to the cannon.

"Wait a sec," said Kim, getting up again. "Light, you did this, didn't you?"

"What are you talking about Kim?" asked Light as nicely as possible.

"Don't play dumb with me," said Kim. "I told you Wallace warned me about you, and suddenly he gets eliminated? There's no way that's a coincidence."

"I swear Kim, I'm being . . ." started Light.

"Bull*beep* Light," said Kim. "You can cram your excuses. You did this intentionally, just like Haruhi and Murtagh and Sabriel and the others. We. Are. Through." Kim stormed off as she finished speaking.

"Well, good to see I got through to her," said Wallace from inside the cannon. "You know, eventually. Though I wish it didn't end in . . ." Chef fired the cannon. "This."

Chef turned to face the camera. "Now that Dark's lost a valuable ally, can he survive the remaining weeks? Will any of these weaklings survive whatever Chris has got planned next? And how much longer can I draw out this conclusion? The answer to the last one is another fifteen words, but the other two will be answered, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

As Chef finished speaking, Chris came running up beside him. "We're renewed," he said between gasps.


	19. Total Drama All Stars Aftermath Part III

Episode 18: Total Drama All Stars Aftermath Part III

_Aftermath intro plays, with scenes featuring the eliminated contestants sliced in._

**Carly**

"Well, let's see then." "Nope, real."

**Ayane**

"I wasn't trying to. I saw Kasumi."

**Kevin**

"Perfect."

**Wallace**

"Well, good to see I got through to her. You know, eventually. Though I wish it didn't end in this."

_Intro finishes, and cuts to a stage with Geoff and Bridgette._

"Dudes, what's up?" asked Geoff. "Welcome to yet another Total Drama All Stars Aftermath episode. I'm Geoff."

"And I'm Bridgette," said Bridgette. "And what a great series it's been. Betrayal, scandal, and fighting on all sides. You need an axe to cut through the tension on the show."

"Yeah, it's going to be tough for them to top that in season two," said Geoff.

"Oh, I'm sure our producer has a few tricks up his sleeve," said Bridgette. "Now, on tonight's show, we have the four recent eliminations of Total Drama . . ."

"Wait a sec Bridge," said Geoff. "Four? There have been five since our last episode: Carly, Ezekiel, Ayane, Kevin and Wallace."

"Yeah, about that," said Bridgette. "Ezekiel's disappeared. You know, again."

"Seriously? What is up with that?" asked Geoff.

"Don't worry, there have been a few good leads on the location of Ezekiel," said Bridgette. "Hopefully he's found and contained before he falls into a volcano with the prize money like last time."

"Let's hope so," said Geoff. "Also on tonight's show we have some never before seen footage, That's Gonna Leave a Mark, and Truth or . . ."

"Actually Geoff, maybe you should keep this week's monstrosity secret until we bring out our first guest," said Bridgette.

"Good idea," said Geoff. "And before we can do that, we need to introduce our rotating Peanut Gallery. How does that sound?" The audience cheered. "Alright. On tonight's show, we have Beth." Beth walked onstage twirling a fire baton. She threw it the air, but instead of catching it, it landed on the intern who received a concussion during the previous episodes. As expected, he caught fire and started running around screaming.

"Brick," said Bridgette. Brick jogged onstage, tripped over his shoelaces, and rolled into the back of the Peanut Gallery's seating area.

"Duncan," said Geoff. Duncan walked out onstage, punching the fiery intern on the way past. The intern now has a record of three concussions from three episodes.

"Justin," said Bridgette. Justin walked onstage, and immediately the room got 110% sexier.

"Katie," said Geoff. Katie walked onstage and took her seat. She was immediately followed by Sadie. "Erm, Sadie, you're meant to wait for your cue," said Geoff.

"But Geoff, if I don't come onstage with Katie, I'll break out in a stress rash and die. It's true," said Sadie.

"Seriously, you'll be apart for thirty seconds," said Geoff.

"I don't care, I'm not moving," said Sadie.

Geoff sighed in frustration. "Fine, whatever. Bridge, keep going."

"Umm, okay," said Bridgette. "We also have Lindsay." Lindsay walked onstage waving to everyone, struck a pose, then turned around and started walking offstage. "Wait Lindsay. This is Total Drama Aftermath, not a fashion shoot."

"Oops, sorry," said Lindsay, coming back onstage. "I thought the catwalk looked a little weird."

"What catwalk?" asked Geoff.

"That one right there silly," said Lindsay, indicating a black section of the stage. Upon closer inspection, this 'catwalk' turned out to be that poor intern.

"Right . . ." said Geoff, unsure of what to say. "We also have Staci." Staci walked out on stage, and seemed to be talking, but no-one could hear her. "Don't worry, her mic's broken right now." Staci heard him, and glared at him.

"And finally, we have Tyler," said Bridgette. Tyler started running onstage. Unfortunately, he didn't notice the unconscious intern in the way, fell over him, and crashed into Brick who was just getting up.

"Oh man, whose idea was it to get two klutzes on the one show?" asked Geoff.

"Hey man, I'm a pro when it comes to basketball," said Tyler.

"As well as wrestling, football and hockey," said Bridgette. "Or so you claim. Then you do something to completely embarrass yourself like trip over something, or walk into a wall."

"Ooh, you're a football player?" asked Lindsay, looking over at Tyler. "What was your name again?"

"Lindsay, it's me, Tyler," said Tyler. "You know? We're supposed to be dating?"

"Ty…ler?" said Lindsay, scratching her head. "I don't remember dating any Tylers."

"And her selective amnesia returns," said Duncan.

"Well, let's get into the show shall we?" said Geoff. "Let's bring out our first guest."

"Among this contestant's list of accomplishments are . . . nothing," said Bridgette. "And somehow, he still made it to eighth place. Please welcome, Wallace." Wallace walked out onstage and sat down.

"Hey Wallace, what's up dude?" said Geoff.

"The hotness in this room," replied Wallace. "When were you gonna introduce me to your friend over there?" As he said this, he indicated towards Justin.

"Umm, thanks?" said Justin, not sure what to think of this.

"Okay, so, Wallace, you managed to make it to eighth place without doing much," said Bridgette. "What's your secret?"

"I guess it's from my complete lack of threateningness," said Wallace. "Because really, I wasn't eliminated until I tried to interfere with Light's plans."

"Which you had more success in than Katniss has had all season," said Geoff. "How do you think that will affect the competition?"

"Light probably already planned for this kind of thing weeks ago," said Wallace. "Seriously, that guy has backup plans for his backup plans. As much as I hate to say it, he knows what he's doing."

"And you're gonna hate what we're doing," said Geoff. "Bridge, can I introduce it now?"

"Go ahead," said Bridgette.

"Alright," said Geoff. "Wallace, get ready for our new lie detector in Truth or Cyborg Sasquatchanakwa."

_An animation featuring the words Truth or Cyborg Sasquatchanakwa appears, followed by Cyborg Sasquatchanakwa blowing the words up with its laser eyes._

Some loud, robotic footsteps are heard, and then Sasquatchanakwa appears onstage. "The rules are simple," said Geoff. "Tell the truth, or Sasquatchanakwa does this." Sasquatchanakwa turned its head to the unconscious intern, and fired a laser out of its eye, frying him.

"As if he hadn't suffered enough," said Wallace.

"So Wallace," said Bridgette. "In your honest opinion, who do you think will win?"

"Katniss," said Wallace. "That girl is tough. No matter what Chris throws at her, she comes out alright."

At this, Sasquatchanakwa aimed its eye at him. "You sure that's what you think?" asked Geoff.

"Come on, since when has a bad guy won Total Drama?" asked Wallace.

"Alejandro in World Tour," said Bridgette. "Or was it Heather?"

"Either way, it was terrible," said Beth. "Unlike when I won Action."

"Pretty sure I won that one," said Duncan.

"Come on, that'd be like saying Gwen won season one," said Katie.

"Gwen did win season one," said Sadie.

"Oh, yeah," said Brick sarcastically. "And Lightning won Revenge of the Island."

"Why did you say it like that?" asked Staci, leaning into his mic. "He did win." Brick shoved her away from him.

"We're gonna have to look in this," said Geoff.

"Well, we need to move on now," said Bridgette. "But before we do, let's hear from home, shall we?" A large TV screen dropped down from the roof, displaying Scott's face on it.

"Hey guy," said Wallace. "What's going on at home?"

"Wallace, where are you?" asked Scott. "I need your help. Apparently Ramona has ANOTHER evil ex, and . . ."

"Seriously? Eight evil exes?" asked Wallace. "Getting kind of old now isn't it?"

"No, seriously Wallace," said Scott. "You think Gideon was bad? This guy is . . ." Suddenly, Scott was picked up by someone and flung across the room. A second later, the camera disconnected.

"Alright, speak to ya later Scott," said Wallace.

"Umm, shouldn't you go help him?" asked Brick.

"You're a cadet aren't you? You help," said Wallace.

"No way, I'll do it," said Tyler. "I was on the wrestling team in junior high."

"As a water boy," said Duncan.

"Why don't both of you do it?" asked Geoff. "We know where that camera was, and there's a helicopter on the roof. Let's see Brick and Tyler save the day." This brought a cheer from the audience as Brick and Tyler were led offstage.

"We'll check on them later," said Bridgette. "In the meantime, let's bring out our next guest."

"Even though she won two challenges for her team, she was still voted off by them," said Geoff. "Please welcome our claustrophobic internet star, Carly." Carly (still showing signs of being burned) walked out onstage and sat down.

"So Carly," said Bridgette. "You're currently the only contestant this season to quit. Any regrets?"

"Yeah, I regret walking into a massive inferno and getting horrifically burnt, leaving me unable to compete," said Carly. "Other than that, no."

"Yeah, bummer about that," said Geoff. "Now, about Katniss's deal . . ."

"I wasn't gonna take it," said Carly.

"What? Why not?" asked Bridgette.

"Because whenever I meddle in someone else's affairs, something bad happens," said Carly. "Sure, everything works out in the end, and the events that happen in between are quite hilarious, but I didn't want to have to go through that part first."

"Is that why you quit?" asked Geoff.

"No you idiot, I had burns to over 90% of my body," said Carly.

"Oh, right," said Geoff. "Well, how about a call from home?" The TV screen dropped down from the roof, revealing Sam, who was taking up practically the whole screen.

"Hey Carly," said Sam. "What up?"

"Hey Sam," said Carly. "Why are you that close to the camera?"

"Oh, you know . . ." said Sam.

"You know?" asked Carly.

"Hold on, I'm still trying to think of an excuse," said Sam.

"Sam, what have you done this time?" demanded Carly.

"Hey, Spencer helped," said Sam, who moved away from the camera, revealing a large smoking crater behind her.

"Do I even want to know?" asked Carly.

"Well," started Sam. "Apparentally, fireworks will not carrying anything heavier than itself." A male voice was then heard saying something off screen. "Shut up Freddie," said Sam, who took off her shoe and threw it at him.

"Okay, well, I'll see you guys soon," said Carly. "Remember to hide the evidence."

"Don't worry, I learned my lesson last time," said Sam as the line disconnected.

"Well, that explosion left quite a mark," said Geoff. "Speaking of leaving a mark . . ."

"Worst segue ever," said Wallace as the TV descended from the roof.

_An animation plays for That's Gonna Leave a Mark._

Chris and Chef are seen examining the area the inferno challenge took place. "You sure this thing will work?" asked Chris. Chef smiled and pushed a button. Suddenly, a massive explosion threw Chris into a nearby tree. "I'll never doubt you again," said Chris.

Chris is seen sitting on the electric lie detector chair. "Hey Chef, look at me," said Chris, then proceeded to speak in a sarcastic tone. "Durr, look at me, I'm a Total Drama contestant." Suddenly, the chair electrocuted him. "Hey, sarcasm isn't lie," said Chris. "And anyway, I'm not even strapped in."

Ayane just landed on her feet after being ejected by the Rollerchriser. Suddenly, Bart landed on top of her. And then Ash landed on top of him. And then Katniss landed on top of him. And then Wallace landed on top of all of them.

Kevin is seen trying to creep into the campfire area, when he accidentally stepped on a twig. Ash's Pokémon suddenly turn and see him. "Uh, oh," said Kevin, before running off camera with Tauros right behind him. Several crashing sounds were heard, along with Kevin's agonising screams.

And finally, Bart is seen falling from the cliff. And hitting every ledge, rock, and jagged surface on the way down. Not the first time someone in his family has done that.

The TV went rose back into the roof. "Wow, man, that was brutal," said Geoff.

"But not as brutal as our next guest," said Bridgette. "Not only did she lose to her arch nemesis Wallace, but Sasquatchanakwa's body was used for genetic experiments, and her runaway shinobi sister was at the camp the whole time. Please welcome Ayane." Ayane walked out onstage, and punched Wallace as she sat down.

"Whoa, nice," said Geoff. "So Ayane . . ."

"Stop. I don't *beep* care," said Ayane. "I'm only doing this because apparently it was in my contract, then I'm outta here."

Bridgette looked at her in confusion. "Okay," she said. "So, losing to Wallace . . ."

"Don't *beep* remind me," said Ayane, and from her expression, it was clear that if they continued they would regret it.

"Okay . . ." said Geoff. "Kasumi . . ."

"That little red haired *beep* better look out," said Ayane. "Because next time I see her I'll *beep* kill her."

Geoff leaned over the Bridgette. "Hey Bridge, can we really allow her to make a death threat on national TV?"

"They'll probably edit it out when this goes to air," said Bridgette, before turning back to Ayane. "Now, about our cyborg . . ."

"I have already resolved to kill your producers," said Ayane. "Seriously, those *beep* shouldn't be *beep* around with this *beep*."

"Why are purple haired chicks so vulgar?" asked Geoff.

"What did you call me?" demanded Ayane.

"Umm . . . let's go to your message from home shall we?" said Geoff, and a TV dropped down from the roof. On its screen was Shiden.

"Shiden," said Ayane, bowing towards him.

"Stop, Ayane," said Shiden. "I have an urgent message for you."

"What is it master?" asked Ayane, still bowing.

"You must team up with Kasumi to stop DOATEC," said Shiden.

"What? But Genra said . . ." started Ayane.

"Ayane," said Shiden. "What's more of a threat to our survival: a runaway shinobi, or the company intent on destroying our way of life?"

"But . . ." said Ayane.

"No back talk," snapped Shiden. "Put aside your differences and defeat them." The connection then cut out.

Ayane glared at the TV, then got up. "Sorry, gotta go," she said. As she left, she punched Wallace in the face again.

Bridgette and Geoff just stared at each other. "I'm not sure what to make of any of that," said Bridgette.

"Wanna just move on to this week's never before seen footage?" asked Geoff.

"If it will make this situation less awkward," said Bridgette.

"Alright, I'm sure many of you have been wondering what future challenges are in store for our contestants," said Geoff. "And the great thing about a show with hundreds of hidden cameras is that we can find plenty of footage of Chris setting those challenges being set up."

"I thought Chris just got cheap prison labour to have everything set up between each episode," said Duncan.

"How would you know that?" asked Justin.

"Because I helped set up most of the challenges for season," said Duncan.

"Ah, there we go," said Staci. "I fixed my mic guys."

"Oh, hey, that's great," said Geoff in mock enthusiasm.

"I was able to fix it because my great-great-uncle Joseph invented them," said Staci. "Before him if people wanted to be heard on TV they needed to cup their hands over their mouths and yell. So sad."

"And now you know why we broke it in the first place," said Geoff sarcastically.

"And yet, you also have . . ." started Duncan as a high pitched squeaking sound pierced the air. It stopped shortly afterwards, and Duncan pointed at Sadie and Katie. "Them on the show."

"How can we help it?" asked Sadie. "Justin just dropped his gum on the floor."

"I got it. I get to keep it," said Katie.

"Guys, that's bordering on stalkerish," said Beth.

"No fair, I was talking to them," said Sadie, trying to wrestle the gum away from Katie.

"As I was saying," said Geoff, ignoring Sadie and Katie. "While we can't tell you what the coming week's challenges are, we can give you hints based on this footage of Chris getting them organised. Let's watch." The TV then began showing shots of Chris working (for once).

The first one showed several convicts (including Duncan) building wooden ships as Chris came up. "Come on people, I need those finished soon," said Chris. "Now, where's that giant fog machine?"

The next shot showed Chris and Chef filling several cardboard milk cartons with milk. The camera then moved away from them until it was looking at a red bottle, which Chef immediately snatched away.

Another shot showed Chris looking out the window of a castle-like structure.

After that, there was a shot showed Chris loading several small safes onto an airplane.

And finally, there was a shot of a wall with several ropes leading through it. What was on the other side was left a mystery.

The TV went back into the roof as it finished showing the scenes. "Well, what do you guys think?" asked Bridgette.

"Did I see tabasco in that second shot?" asked Duncan.

"Wait, there were only five challenges shown," said Beth. "There should have been six."

"That's because Chris is keeping the final challenge a heavily guarded secret," said Geoff.

"But why would he hide the most important challenge of the season from everyone?" asked Lindsay. "It doesn't make any sense."

"Well, we only have one more contestant . . ." started Geoff.

"Hold on," said Bridgette. "I just got word that the fight we sent Brick and Tyler to help with has ended, and we can cross to them right now."

"Alright, let's goes," said Geoff. The TV dropped down again, and showed Brick and Tyler in crumpled heaps on the floor, with Scott standing triumphantly on top of a large pile of money. There was a hole in the wall beside him.

"What the? What happened?" asked Bridgette.

"What happened was that I kicked the guy's ass," said Scott.

"That a boy, Scott," said Wallace.

"What happened to your nose?" asked Scott.

"Wait, you were struggling before," said Bridgette. "That's why we sent Brick and Tyler."

"Yeah, I was struggling at first," said Scott. "Then those two idiots came up, got clobbered, and while I watched them I figured out his fighting style and used it against him."

"Right," said Geoff. "And what was his fighting style?"

"He just punched in the direction of his opponent until he hit something," said Scott. "He got his arm stuck in the wall, then I clobbered him."

"And where is he?" asked Bridgette.

"Here," said Scott, holding up the money.

"That doesn't make any sense," said Geoff.

"Who's complaining? Not me," said Scott, as the TV disconnected.

"And on that note, we go to our final guest of the evening," said Bridgette.

"He took down most of Light's gang without being present," said Geoff. "He's Total Drama's number one trap setter, Kevin." Kevin walked out onstage.

"So Kevin, how's it going?" asked Bridgette.

"Fine," said Kevin. "Wish I hadn't ticked off Light's team though."

"You're not the only one," said Wallace.

"I want to clarify something," said Bridgette. "Did you and Katniss ever . . ."

"No, I only ever kissed Carly," said Kevin.

"On accident," said Carly immediately.

"And not what I was going to say," said Bridgette. "I was going to ask if you and Katniss ever teamed up."

"Not really," said Kevin. "I mean, I support her, but I never joined her team."

"So you want Katniss to win?" asked Geoff.

"What? No. I'm supporting Zidane," said Kevin.

Carly gave him a dirty look. "Why would you support the guy who kept taking my bra?" she asked.

"Because he taught me how to do this," said Kevin, holding up Carly's bra. Carly gaped at him, before slapping him and taking her bra back. "Doesn't matter, got to second base," said Kevin.

"Speaking of women who want to hit you," said Bridgette. "We have a call from home for you."

"Oh God, don't tell me . . ." said Kevin, as the TV dropped down from the roof again, revealing his mother on the screen.

"KEVIN!" she screamed. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU NOW?!"

"Mum, relax," said Kevin. "I was just competing on a TV show for a million dollars. No big deal."

"NO BIG DEAL?!" she shrieked. "WHAT CITY ARE YOU EVEN IN?!"

"I don't know, whatever one that producer guy led me to," said Kevin.

"Well, stay where you are," said his mother sternly. "I'm coming to get you, and then dragging you back home by the ear." The TV then disconnected. Kevin gulped nervously, realising something horrible was coming his way soon.

"Ooh, that sounds bad," said Geoff. "But something that isn't bad is Total Drama All Stars, which is now in its final weeks."

"That's right Geoff," said Bridgette. "Stay tuned, because there'll be more action, more mayhem, and loads more drama next time, on Total Drama All Stars."


	20. C4 Miss

Episode 19: C4. Miss.

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "While I ensured the continuation of the show, Chef took over, and made the contestants compete in a series of gruelling, dangerous, and difficult challenges, most of which were considered too cruel for Guantanamo Bay. One by one, each contestant fell by Chef's hand, eventually leaving Light and Kim as the final two to wrestle it out. Light gained immunity, leaving Katniss in a frustrated position of being unable to eliminate him. However, the elimination went to Wallace, something that probably should have happened weeks ago. And in an even more shocking turn of events, Kim broke up with Light after finally realising he was evil." The camera cuts back to Chris on the pier. "The competition is really heating up . . ."

"No more fire jokes," called someone off-screen.

Chris glared at the person. "As I was saying, who will sink? Who will swim? And who will fire that jerk that interrupted me? The answer to the last one is me . . ."

"Hey," yelled the person.

". . . but you can find out the answer to the other two, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Katniss, Zidane, Ash and Kim were gathered outside the cabins. "Alright, I'd like to call this meeting to order," said Katniss. "First order of business, welcome Kim. Because of you joining us, we now have a majority on our side, and therefore should be able to win."

"Are you sure about this?" asked Zidane. "I mean, I'm fine with having all the remaining girls here. In fact, I wholeheartedly support the motion." Katniss and Kim glared at him before he continued. "But she was helping Light. Are we sure we can trust her?"

"Light has been lying and manipulating his way through the whole competition," said Kim. "No more. He has to go."

"I trust her," said Katniss. "I just don't think she'd turn on Light like that unless she was seriously ticked off at him."

"I guess I'll trust her too," said Ash. "We could always keep an eye on her, in case she tries something."

"I volunteer to watch her at all times," said Zidane immediately. The other three glared at him.

"Look, I really don't think Kim is a threat," said Katniss. "Let's focus on Light. If he goes, and Bart follows soon, I think I could accept losing to anyone else."

"Do I still get to watch Kim?" asked Zidane.

"Campers, join me on the beach for this week's challenge," said Chris over the loudspeakers.

"Great, another water challenge," said Marty. "When's he just going to admit he wants to drown us?"

Later, on the beach . . .

"Okay campers," said Chris. "Today's challenge comes from the classic board game Battleship . . ."

"No good can become of this," said Light.

"Which is why I'm staying right out of the way," said Chris. "As you can see behind you, there are seven boats." Behind them, seven wooden boats were lined up along the beach. It was questionable as to whether they would float. "You guys will sail them out into the bay, where we have a ten by ten grid set out. You guys will take turns firing at each other until there is only one left."

"But it's a perfectly clear day today," said Light. "We'll be able to see each other quite easily."

"That's where Chef comes in," said Chris as he pulled out a walkie talkie. "Chef? Do it." At that moment, the contestants heard a helicopter coming. They watched as a helicopter (flown by Chef) lowered a large fog machine onto a platform set in the middle of the bay. Suddenly, a thick fog covered the water. "Still think you can see everyone?" asked Chris. Light shook his head. "Okay, you guys go and pick a boat. There's a computer on board that you can enter your preferred co-ordinates into. And don't try and tell your friends where you're going." He added this hastily as Bart turned to talk to Light and Marty. "Off you go."

The contestants picked their boats and entered the co-ordinates they wanted to play from. Ash ended up at B1; Bart chose J8; Katniss went to C5; Kim's location was D3; Light sat at G8; Marty was at C9; and Zidane decided on H6.

"Okay campers, your positions have been set," said Chris. "In order to attack one another, enter the co-ordinates you intend to strike into the computer, then hit the red button. All spots that have been attacked will show up on your screens, including whether someone was there."

"Hey man, what happens if we get hit?" asked Bart.

"Your ship sinks, and if you don't get off in time, you drown," said Chris. "Okay campers, fire at will."

"What did Will ever do to us?" asked Zidane.

"It means attack you dolt," said Chris.

At this, seven missiles launched from seven boats. Ash fired at C6; Bart at E1; Katniss chose F9; Kim went for F6; Light aimed at D8; Marty blasted I1; and Zidane hit J5. If you're keeping track of which spots have been hit, you would know that no-one hit anyone.

"Well, those explosions were pretty entertaining," said Chris. "Unfortunately, none of you were in them. Round two. Go."

"Why is he so bent on horrifically injuring us?" wondered Marty as he fired his missile. The co-ordinates the contestants chose were as follows: Ash, F5; Bart, H3; Katniss, F7; Kim, D7; Light, E6; Marty, E8; and Zidane, D4. So again, no losses.

"It's only a matter of time before you hit someone," said Chris. "Hopefully, it's one of your allies. Round three. Go."

Unfortunately for Chris, this round was another round of misses, with the contestants hitting A5, F2, B8, C3, E7, G2 and B6.

"Come on people, HIT SOMETHING," yelled Chris. "Round four."

Targets this round included: Ash hitting E3, Bart hitting C2, Katniss hitting G7, Kim hitting E5, Light hitting B5, Marty hitting D5, and . . .

"What the hell was that," said Light as his ship lurched sideways.

"That, Light, was Zidane hitting your ship at G8," said Chris. "Finally, one of you shows some competence at hitting a target."

"Maybe if we could actually see where the others were," said Katniss.

"Not gonna happen," said Chris. "Time for round five. Go."

Ash's target this time was I9, Bart's was E10, Katniss chose G9, and Marty chose F4. Oh, did I forget Kim and Zidane? Well . . .

"Congratulations Kim, you just sunk Katniss," said Chris. "Kinda makes what Zidane's done a tragedy."

"What do you mean?" asked Kim as her boat suddenly rocked to the side.

"Two from one. That more than makes up for the lack of action from before," said Chris. "Let's move on to round six. Go."

But the campers went back to their old patterns, with their targets being I5, F10, H8, and I4.

"Was it so much to hope for four exploded contestants?" asked Chris. "Oh well. Maybe round seven will cheer me up."

It didn't. The contestants hit the co-ordinates B4, J7, A4, and E4.

"BOR-ING," said Chris. "Come on guys, you can't win unless you HIT SOMETHING."

"How are we meant to hit something we can't see?" demanded Zidane.

"By blasting blindly into areas that have yet to be hit," said Chris. "Now, let's see what round eight has in store for us."

Well, with targets like G10, G4, B2, and D6, not much.

Chris sighed deeply. "Round nine," he said.

Still no luck, with C8, B7, G5, and A8 getting hit.

"Come on people," said Chris angrily. "Round ten."

This time, something happened. Ash fired at spot C4, which immediately set off a large explosion. "Congratulations Ash," said Chris. "You've just hit our secret explosives stash. You missed the other contestants, but you at least you caused a beautiful explosion for those of us on land."

"Glad I'm not still in my boat," said Katniss, trying to swim back to shore.

Meanwhile, the shockwave from the explosion had just hit Marty's boat. He'd already entered the letter C, but just as his boat rocked to the side, he accidentally hit a button. When he looked at what he pressed, his response was something to the effect of gosh darn it, because he had hit the number 9. As for Bart and Zidane, they got nothing again, hitting F3 and E2.

"Alright, three to go," said Chris. "Round eleven."

Ash hit C7, Bart hit D2, and Zidane hit E9, so no-one went boom.

"I swear to God, the guy writing this is just trying to lengthen what would otherwise be an extremely short chapter," said Chris. "Round twelve."

Ash's next choice was B10, Bart went J6, and Zidane went I8. In other words, nothing.

"Damn it, the audience wants explosions," said Chris. "Round thirteen."

"How much ammo do those things have?" asked Chef.

"Enough, I hope," said Chris.

Ash decided to target C1 (miss), Bart to J9 (miss), and Zidane to H9 (miss).

"Oh for *beep* sake," said Chris. "Round fourteen."

Ash targeted A1, Bart chose G6, and Zidane chose H2. Still nothing.

"We get it kierandell1409," said Chris. "You needed more content, so you're planning to list every *beep* co-ordinate on the *beep* map. Please just put me out of my misery."

"No," said a deep booming voice from somewhere. Chris and Chef looked around the room, but couldn't see where the voice had come from.

"Okay . . ." said Chris, confused. "Round fifteen, I guess."

Ash's choice was H4, Bart had I6, and Zidane went for I10.

"YOU'RE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE," yelled Chris accusingly. Chef gave Chris a confused look. "Chef, active Plan B."

"You mean . . ." started Chef.

"Yes," said Chris. "We finish this. Now."

A few minutes (and several rounds of missed shots later), the contestants heard the helicopter again. On-board the helicopter, Chris held a giant fan out the door. Within seconds, the fog had lifted, clearly revealing to the remaining contestants where everyone was. "Now, kill each other," said Chris.

Very quickly, three missiles were launched. Two at one target, one at another. "There we go," said Chris, and then started speaking through a megaphone. "We have a winner." Chris leaned away from it to talk to Chef. "Whose boat is that?"

Chef looked down at the one still floating boat. "Whoever was at H6," said Chef.

"So, that means . . ." said Chris.

"I won," yelled Zidane, for everyone to hear.

"Yeah, you," said Chris. "Zidane is immune from tonight's vote. Everyone else, pick your victim."

Several hours later, Kim was just about to enter the girl's cabin when she saw Light waiting there for him. "What are you doing here Light?" demanded Kim.

"Kim, come on, can't we be a little more civil than that," said Light calmly.

"Not to you," said Kim. "You're a lying, cheating, *beep*. You are so going down at tonight's vote."

"Kim, please," said Light, stepping closer to her. "Even if I did intentionally get those people eliminated, do you really think I'd stoop so low as to play with a girl's emotions?"

"Yes, you would" said Kim.

"God you're beautiful when you're angry," said Light, who then leaned in and kissed her. Kim stood there shocked for a minute while Light pinned her arms to her body. Light looked over her shoulder at something, watched it for a moment, and then let her go.

Kim gaped at him for a moment, then slapped him across the face. "You are the worst human being on the planet," said Kim, before turning to leave.

**Confession Cam: Light**

He laughed for a moment before speaking. "Exactly as planned. Kim, you are outta here."

Later, at the elimination ceremony . . .

"Campers," started Chris. "Seven of you sit over there, but only six marshmallows sit over here. Receiving a marshmallow is good. It means you're safe. For now. Not receiving a marshmallow is bad. It means a one way trip home via the Blast of Shame. And you can never, ever, EVER, return. EV. ER. The following contestants are safe." As Chris read each name, he threw them a marshmallow. "Zidane. Marty. Katniss. Bart. And Light amazingly." The camera cut the Ash and Kim, both looking nervous. "Campers, there is only one marshmallow left on this plate," said Chris. "One of you is going home tonight. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera cut rapidly between Ash and Kim for several seconds. "Ash." The final marshmallow landed on Ash's lap.

"WHAT THE *beep*?!" demanded Kim. "Katniss, Ash, Zidane. I thought we agreed to boot Light?"

"We did," said Zidane. "Before I caught you in your afternoon make-out session with him."

"My afternoon WHAT?!" she demanded, before realisation dawned on her. He turned to Light and glared at him. "You dirty *beeeeep* *beep* *beeeeep* *beep*, rotten *beep* *beep* *beeeeep*, lousy*beeeeep* beep*, son of a *beeeeep*," said Kim, shocking everyone present as well as anyone who can read Morse Code. "You *beep* set this up, didn't you?"

"What are you talking about?" demanded Katniss. "Zidane said you gave him a note . . ."

"What note?" demanded Kim.

"This one," said Ash, producing a piece of paper.

Kim read it carefully, a look of horror spreading across her face. "I didn't write this," she said coldly. "This was Light's work."

Realisation dawned on Ash, Katniss and Zidane, who looked over to Light, grinning like a madman. "Yeah, it was me," he said cockily. "I wrote that 'note' for Zidane to meet Kim outside the girl's cabin, where I guessed I would meet Kim eventually. Luckily, Kim was there before Zidane, so all I had to do was make sure I kept Kim there until I saw Zidane arrive, and make him watch me kiss her."

"Wait a sec," said Katniss. "Zidane, you said Kim gave you that note."

"It . . . might have been on my pillow," said Zidane.

"Which, being in the boys cabin, means I have plenty of access to it," said Light. "So, I've just levelled the playing field again."

"Oh, you are GOOD," said Chris as Kim was dragged away.

"Wait, Chris," said Ash. "I retract my vote."

"Sorry, no retractions," said Chris.

"I volunteer as loser," said Katniss.

"No replacements either," said Chris.

"Don't worry about me guys," said Kim. "Just stop Light, for God sake." Chef then loaded her into the cannon, and blasted her over the horizon.

"And another one bites the dust," said Chris. "Who will be the champion? Who will be the killer queen? And whose rhapsody will be of bohemian proportions? Well, Katniss is biologically the only one left who can fill the second one, but you can find out the answers to the others, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	21. Red Hot Milky Peppers

Episode 20: Red Hot Milky Peppers

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "Kim officially joined Katniss's team, though not without some suspicion from the others. The contestants competed in a real life game of battleships, which was totally rigged by the jerk writing this fanfic, and who has just docked my pay. HEY! Anyway, despite Kim's obvious dislike of Light, she still decided to make out with him, a move that ultimately cost her spot on the show." The camera cuts back to Chris on the pier. "We're down to the final six. What can we still do to the contestants that we haven't already done? What master plans does Light still have up his sleeve? And who will be eliminated in this episode? Sorry, couldn't think of anything more creative for the intro, but you can find out right here on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Katniss approached Ash and Zidane, holding a piece of paper. "Okay boys," she said. "We have a choice to make: get rid of Light this week, or weaken his team."

"Get rid of Light, obviously," said Zidane. "I shouldn't have done what I did to Kim last week, so now I have to make it up to her."

"You might change your mind when you see this," said Katniss, holding out the piece of paper.

"What is this?" asked Ash. "A note? Who's it from?"

"I believe it's from Ayane," said Katniss. "I found this in my quiver, folded up like a ninja star. I'm guessing she sent this before she left, but since I haven't needed my arrows during that time, I didn't see it until now. We might be able to use this to our advantage."

"How?" asked Ash.

"Read it and find out," said Katniss.

Zidane took the note, and the two of them read it. "Interesting," said Zidane when he'd finished. "Still not sure how it helps us though."

"Don't you remember what you told me about Marty's arrival?" said Katniss.

"Do you really think . . ." said Zidane.

"Given what the note says, yes I do," said Katniss.

"But why not get rid of Light now?" asked Ash.

"That's why I'm putting it a vote," said Katniss. "If what Ayane has said is true, then it's been going on since the start of the season. I vote to end it."

"Sorry Katniss, I'm voting against it," said Ash. "Light's a bigger threat. We should get rid of him as soon as possible."

"Fair enough," said Katniss. "Zidane, whatever you decide is what we do."

Zidane thought about it for a moment before replying. "I'm with Katniss," he said. "In fact, I'm personally going to do this. For Kim. Light goes next."

"Agreed," said Katniss and Ash at the same time, then Katniss continued. "As much as I want Light gone, this is far more horrible."

"Campers, if you're finished making vague allusions to your plans, please meet in the mess hall for today's challenge," said Chris.

"Vague allusions?" asked Marty. "Uh oh, we're in trouble."

"Why?" asked Light.

"Because whenever an author has characters hint at their intentions without directly stating them, it means the plan will work," said Marty.

"But maybe because you said that it won't work," said Light.

"But what if you saying that has cancelled that out?" asked Marty.

"Guess we'll have to wait and see," said Light.

Later, in the mess hall . . .

"Okay campers, time for today's challenge," said Chris. "Chef, bring them out." Chef came out of the kitchen, wheeling a trolley with cartons milk. "As some of you might know, drinking a gallon of milk in a short period of time will cause you to barf. I'm not sure I believe this, so I'm going to make you test this. Whoever holds it down longest wins."

"If you need us to drink a gallon of milk, why do you only have cardboard cartons?" asked Bart.

"Oh, you'll see," said Chris, snickering under his breath.

"I don't like the sound of that," said Katniss, picking a carton.

"No-one does," said Marty, picking another. Soon, all six had picked a carton.

"Okay campers, start drinking," said Chris, and the six of them began. However, within seconds, Ash was coughing a spluttering. "AHH!" he screamed. "It's like Charizard spat in this thing." He flung his carton to the ground, which spilled out some red liquid. The other contestants looked at it in confusion, them at Chris, who was laughing hysterically.

"Okay campers, now I'll tell you today's REAL challenge," said Chris. "As you can see from what happened to Ash, one of the cartons of milk is actually tabasco. You're challenge is to avoid drinking it."

"Wait, so that means . . ." said Ash.

"Yeah, you're out," said Chris.

"And you chose cardboard cartons so we couldn't see the colour of the liquid inside," said Light. "That's despicable. I love it."

"Wait, doesn't milk neutralise the effect of tabasco?" asked Marty.

"Usually, yes," said Chris. "However, our specially made brand of tabasco can actually melt ice by sitting next to it."

"Ice melts at room temperature anyway," said Light.

"Did I mention this was in the freezer?" asked Chris. "Because that's kind of important."

"Oh, *beep*," said Bart.

"Yeah, that," said Chris. "Chef, bring out the next round." Chef brought out another five cartons of milk. Immediately, the contestants started feeling the sides of them. "Don't bother trying to find the tabasco one," said Chris. "We put them all in specially insulated cartons, so you can find it without opening it."

The contestants groaned at the thought, and each took a carton. The five of them slowly began drinking. Four of them, upon realising they had milk, relaxed greatly. The other one was Katniss.

"AHHH!" she screamed. "I am literally the girl on fire right now."

"Katniss, you're out," said Chris. "Four to go. Chef, bring them some more refreshments." Chef came out, carrying another four cartons of milk.

Bart took a swig from his carton . . .

And Marty took a swig from his carton . . .

And Zidane took a swig from his carton . . .

And Light took a swing from his carton . . . and started swearing as he dropped his carton, revealing it to be the tabasco carton.

"And now, Light has been eliminated," said Chris. "Three of you left. Chef, next round." Chef brought out three more cartons of milk.

The three of them drank down some of the milk. But something was wrong.

"Why are none of you in pure agony?" demanded Chris.

"Maybe Chef made a mistake and gave us three actually milks?" suggested Bart.

Chef walked up to Bart and looked inside his carton. "Nope, you have the tabasco one," he said.

"Then why isn't he screaming about how it burns?" asked Chris.

"Probably something to do with this," said Chef, turning Bart around and running a finger down his shirt. It came away red. "He didn't drink any of the tabasco. He just pretended to."

"Well, we can fix that," said Chris, pulling out a funnel.

"Uh oh," said Bart, as Chris put it in his mouth.

Chef immediately started pouring the contents of the carton down his throat. "Let's see you fake this," he said, stepping back from Bart. Bart immediately opened his mouth, and a large jet of flames burst out from his mouth. This blast burned a huge hole in the wall.

"Well, that was fun," said Chris. "We're down to the final two, and we managed that in fewer than thirteen hundred words. Way quicker than normal. Chef, let's finish this." Chef brought out the final two cartons.

"Come on Zidane, you've got win this," said Katniss.

"Don't worry Kat, I've got thief's instinct on my side," said Zidane.

"Hear that Marty," said Bart. "Watch which one Zidane's about to pick, then quickly grab it."

"Got it," said Marty as the cartons were set down.

Zidane focused his attention on one of the cartons, then the other, the back to the first. Marty kept his hand near the one Zidane was looking at, ready to react at a moment's notice. Suddenly, Zidane made his choice. He reached for the one on the left . . .

. . . but Marty was faster. Zidane gulped, then grabbed the other carton.

"Well, it looks like this challenge is over," said Chris as the contestants started drinking. "And the winner is . . ." All of a sudden, Marty started coughing and spluttering. "Not Marty," he said, turning to Zidane. "What gives? I thought you were reaching for the real milk."

"Nope," said Zidane. "I heard what they said about stealing the one I wanted, so I pretended the one I wanted was the tabasco one. Thief's instinct plus acting skills plus those guys not whispering their plans equals my victory."

"Sneaky," said Chris. "I love it. Zidane is immune from tonight's vote. Everyone else, pick your victim, and we'll see you tonight at the campfire ceremony." As Chris finished, Zidane snuck out and into the forest.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"If I keep voting for Katniss, surely she'll be eliminated sooner or later. Surely."

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"I'm voting for Light in case the plan fails."

**Confession Cam: Marty**

"There it is again, that vague planning. What are they up to?"

Later, at the campfire ceremony . . .

Zidane was the last to arrive, and sat down next to Katniss. "Did you do it?" she asked him.

"Yep," said Zidane.

"Then where . . ." started Ash.

"Everything will happen when it's meant to happen," said Zidane.

"Seriously, what are you guys planning?" asked Light.

"If we tell you before it succeeds, it won't work," said Katniss.

"Exactly, now tell me," said Light, but she'd already turned her attention to Chris at the podium.

"Okay campers, six of you left, but there are five marshmallows on this plate," said Chris. "Those of you who receive a marshmallow will be safe. For now. The one of you that doesn't receive a marshmallow will be blasted out of that cannon, and never, ever, be allowed to return. EVER! The following contestants are safe." As he read each name, he threw a marshmallow to them. "Zidane. Katniss. Ash. And Light, somehow." The camera cut to a shot of Bart and Marty. "Campers, there is only one marshmallow left on this plate," said Chris. "That means one of you is safe, and one is going home. The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera cut rapidly between Bart and Marty for several seconds. "B . . ." started Chris, when something unexpected happened. The DeLorean suddenly appeared in front of them.

The door to the time machine opened, and Doc Brown emerged. "Marty," said the Doc. "Come on, we have to get back to 1985."

"But Doc, I've almost won a million dollars," said Marty.

"Great Scott Marty, do you have any idea how much you could ruin the timeline if you brought future money back with us?" demanded the Doc.

"You ain't seen nothing yet," muttered Chris.

"Wait a sec," said Chef. "Didn't we imprison you?"

"Yes, and put me through many horrible tortures," said the Doc. "Luckily today, that young monkey boy over there busted me out."

"Please, you call that busting you out?" asked Zidane. "You should have seen what I had to do to rescue Dagger."

"In any case, we're leaving," said the Doc. "Now." As he said this, he grabbed Marty's arm, and dragged him into the DeLorean. The car started speeding up, and soon disappeared, leaving a trail of fire behind it.

"So that was your plan," said Light. "But how did you find out about it?"

"It was on this note Ayane gave me," said Katniss. "She said that while she was hunting for Kasumi, she accidentally came across the Doc's prison. She didn't pay any attention to it at the time, but when she found out the Doc was connected to Marty, and that Marty was on your side, she decided let us know about it."

"Well, with that settled," said Chris. "Who will . . ."

"Wait, are you closing the show?" asked Ash. "I thought Bart was getting eliminated."

"He was, but now that we've lost Marty, we may as well let him stay for now," said Chris. "We've set up too many of the upcoming challenges to have a double elimination."

"You could have a reward week," suggested Bart.

"We haven't had one of those in the twenty weeks of this show," said Chris. "What makes you think I'm gonna start now?" Chris turned back to face the camera. "Anyway, we're down to the final five. Who will survive the remaining hell I have planned? Who will lose the fight for the money? And can I think of a third question to go here? No I can't, but find out the answers to the other two next time, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	22. The Princess Is In Another Castle

Episode 21: The Princess Is In Another Castle

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "While cleaning up her stuff, Katniss discovered a month old note from Ayane. This led to her team conspiring to remove Marty, but never actually saying anything directly. Well, maybe once. Anyway, the challenge was for the contestants to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour and not spew longer than the others. PSYCH! It was actually a challenge to see who could avoid drinking a big mouthful of tabasco the longest. Due to his 'thief's instinct', Zidane won the challenge, leaving the other competitors red faced, though not from embarrassment. Despite the votes favouring Bart as the eliminated competitor, Marty left when he was kidnapped by the Doc." The scene cuts back to Chris on the dock. "Who will be a knight in shining armour? Who will be prince charming? And who will be the wicked witch? Find out the answers to these, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Bart and Light were sitting in the boy's cabin talking. "We're in trouble now," said Bart.

"What, because we lost Marty?" asked Light. "Don't worry about it. We might get lucky in the next challenge."

"One of us might," said Bart. "The other one is a goner."

"Not necessarily," said Light. "Chris might spring a 'don't complete this challenge and you get eliminated' challenge on us. And if someone on Katniss's team can't do it . . ."

"Chris hasn't done that all season," said Bart.

"Exactly, we're overdue," said Light.

"It's not gonna happen," said Bart.

"Campers, please make your way to the edge of the forest for today's challenge," said Chris over the loudspeakers.

Twenty minutes later . . .

"Welcome campers, to today's challenge," said Chris. "If you look carefully into the forest right now, you will see a large castle-like structure." The campers looked past Chris, and saw the giant castle with five large turrets. "We've loaded the forest with monsters you need to slay in order to get to the castle. Once there, you need to reach your respective turret, and rescue a princess from their captor."

Zidane squinted up at the window of one of the turrets. "Is that . . . DAGGER?" he asked, shocked.

"Wait, we have to rescue REAL girls?" asked Bart.

"Yes, you do," said Chris, ignoring Zidane's question.

"Eww, girl germs," said Bart.

"Okay now, you've all got a weapon of some sort," said Chris. At this, Ash drew one of his Pokéballs, Bart brandished his slingshot, Katniss held her bow, and Zidane had his daggers.

Light looked around, confused. "I haven't got a weapon," he said, looking at the others.

"You've got that killer notebook," said Chris.

"Not really a useful weapon in a physical confrontation," said Light.

"Then don't get in any physical confrontations," said Chris.

"Not helpful," said Light.

**Confession Cam: Katniss**

"No weapon means Light is so not winning this challenge."

"Okay, the winner is the first one to get back here," said Chris. "The winner will have immunity from tonight's vote. Any questions?"

"Yeah," said Zidane. "Was that Dagger I saw?"

"Alright, no questions," said Chris. "Go."

"Wait, I have a question," said someone. The contestants looked up to see a man in blue robes running towards them. "I heard at the start of the series you might need me, but I haven't heard back."

"Oh, Ice King," said Chris. "Obviously you haven't been watching, because Finn was eliminated. A while ago in fact."

"WHAT?! How did that happen?" asked the Ice King.

"Him," said Ash, Katniss and Zidane, pointing at Light.

The Ice King sighed. "I've been practicing my princess kidnapping skills for nothing," he said, leaving.

"And now with that pointless interruption out of the way, go," said Chris.

"But I . . ." said Zidane, but the other had already started moving. Sighing, he dashed after them.

In the forest, the contestants dashed towards the castle, when suddenly an unholy roar sounded. Then, from out of a bush, they came: a bear, Chef, Cyborg Sasquatchanakwa, Fang, and some guy wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw in his hand (since in the place where his other hand should have been there was a hook).

"I choose you, Snivy," said Ash, throwing one of his Pokéballs. Out popped Snivy, tiny compared to the advancing Fang.

Meanwhile, Bart had climbed slightly up a tree and was fired rocks off at Chef with his slingshot, keeping him from reaching him; Zidane had also climbed a tree with the bear in close pursuit; and Katniss was rolling out of the way of one of the cyborg's lasers. As for Light . . .

"Ready to die, kid?" said the guy in the hockey mask, raising his chainsaw.

"Wait," said Light, cowering beneath him. "Can I at least learn the name of the man who will kill me?"

"Hmm, well okay," said the killer. "Though you'll be dead in a few seconds anyway. I'm simply known as The Escaped Psycho Killer with a Chainsaw and a Hook, spelled T-H-E-space-E-S-C-A . . . AGH!" Suddenly, The Escaped Psycho Killer with a Chainsaw and a Hook clutched his chest, and fell over dead.

"Idiot," said Light, closing the Death Note and putting his pen back in his pocket as he started off for the castle again.

Not long after, Katniss managed to fire an arrow that stuck into Sasquatchanakwa. It pierced some important computery stuff that only the most advanced engineers (which I am not) would know the name of. Sasquatchanakwa started to spasm for a moment, and then shut down. Katniss looked around to see Ash and Snivy struggling with Fang.

Ash saw her running over to help him, and shook his head. "Katniss, no," he said. "I saw Light start heading towards the castle. One of us should get over there to stop him."

"But you . . ." started Katniss.

"Don't worry about us," said Ash. "Get over there, now." Katniss hesitated a moment, but soon left in the direction of the castle. Ash turned back to the battle. "Snivy, use Leaf Blade," he said. Several sharp leaves sprang out from Snivy, immediately sticking into Fang. "Now, Vine Whip." Two long vines stuck out from Snivy, and smacked Fang to the ground. "Alright, I think we . . ." started Ash, just as Fang got back up, still very much alive. "Uh oh," said Ash as Fang started charging. Just as Fang was about to charge into them, however, he was suddenly kicked to the side. Ash looked over to see that Zidane had knocked him over.

"Thought you could use a hand," said Zidane, standing back up.

"I thought you were fighting the bear," said Ash.

"Where do you think I got this new coat," said Zidane, indicating the fur coat he was wearing. Ash looked over to the tree where Zidane had been fighting the bear to see that the bear was still there, just hairless. "Come on," said Zidane. "We have a challenge to win." The two of them immediately set out for the castle.

"Wait for me," said Bart, holding back a tree branch. Just as Chef was about to reach him, Bart let go of the branch, which smacked into Chef and sent him flying. "Heh heh, sucker," said Bart before going to the castle himself.

Inside the castle, Light found five staircases, each leading up to a turret. At the foot of each staircase was a sign with a contestant's name. The names were alphabetical from leftmost staircase to right. Light shrugged at ran up the staircase second from the right. Katniss was is soon after him, and quickly darted up the middle staircase. Zidane and Ash were in next, each taking an end staircase. Finally, Bart came in and ran up the staircase second from the left.

Ash burst through the door at the top of his staircase, and found Misty crouched in the room. "Misty?" asked Ash. "I have to rescue you?"

"Yeah, though I think it's more of a formality," said Misty.

"Why's that?" asked Ash, as he heard a familiar laugh behind him.

"Prepare for trouble," said Jesse.

"Make it double," said James.

"To protect the world from devastation," said Jesse.

"To unite all people within our nation," said James.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love," said Jesse.

"To extend our reach to the stars above," said James.

"Jesse," said Jesse.

"James," said James.

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light," said Jesse.

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight," said James.

"Meowth, that's right," said Meowth.

"So I have to defeat you to win this challenge?" asked Ash.

"Yes, but really, what's the chance of that happening?" said James.

"Well, given my track record of six hundred and something to zero, I'd say pretty good," said Ash.

"Enough chat. Go, Woobat," said Jesse, sending out her Woobat.

"Go, Yamask," said James.

"I choose you, Donphan," said Ash, sending out Donphan.

"Woobat, use Air Slash," said Jesse.

"Yamask, use Night Shade," said James.

"Donphan, use Rollout," said Ash. Donphan rolled into a ball and charged at Team Rocket and their Pokémon. It rammed into all of them, and the entire group went flying out through the wall.

"It looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again," said Jesse and James together as they flew through the air, disappearing over the horizon.

"Well, that was easy," said Ash. "Misty, want to help me win this challenge?"

"As long as some of that money is used to by me a new bike," said Misty.

"I was hoping you'd forgotten about that," said Ash, leading the way out of the room.

While this was happening, one staircase to the left . . .

Bart pushed open the door to the room, and found Lisa sitting in the corner. "Aww, do I have to save my stupid sister?" asked Bart.

"Yes, if you want to win this challenge," said Chris.

"Yeah Bart, rescue me," teased Lisa.

Bart groaned loudly. "Okay, who do I have to save her from?" said Bart.

"WASSUP!" said an all too familiar (but pathetic) voice. Milhouse entered the room, acting all high and mighty (or as mighty as a nerd can act). "Hey Bart, can I have some of the money if I take a fall for you?"

"Oh, you can take a fall alright," said Bart, who lightly pushed Milhouse backwards. Milhouse overbalanced, and he fell down the stairs, bouncing all the way to the ground floor. "Ooh, that's gotta hurt," said Bart.

"Don't you think that was slightly unnecessary?" asked Lisa.

"Let's just get going," said Bart, starting down the stairs.

"Aren't you going to carry your princess?" asked Lisa, clearly trying to annoy Bart.

"What? No," said Bart, trying to continue.

"Doesn't sound like the sort of thing a knight in shining armour would do," said Lisa.

"Yeah, well, neither is this," said Bart, grabbing her arm and dragging her down the stairs.

Moving to the centre staircase . . .

Katniss burst into the room, and found Prim there. "Prim," she said, breathless. "Come on, let's get you outta here."

"First, you'll have to go through me," said someone behind her. Katniss turned around to see President Snow standing in the doorway. Katniss immediately grabbed her bow. "Oh, what makes you think you can kill me?" he asked. "Last time you had a shot at me, you were only a few feet away, and you missed."

"Last time, President Coin was also in my line of sight," said Katniss. "I don't see her around anywhere, so . . ." President Snow looked horrified as Katniss released the arrow, straight through his heart.

"Don't you find it weird that he was talking about when he died?" asked Prim as Katniss led her out of the room.

"Well, given that you're alive too, I'm guessing that continuity is irrelevant to the writer," said Katniss, heading down the stairs.

Meanwhile, in the next turret . . .

Light entered the room, and found Misa in the room. "Light," she cried, rushing over to him and embracing him tightly.

"Ah, Misa," he said. "I suppose there's someone here guarding you?"

"As a matter of fact, there is," came the reply from behind him. Light turned around to find L standing there.

"L?" said Light. "I thought I killed you."

"No, Rem killed me," said L.

"Oh, yeah," said Light. "So, I guess I have to fight my way past you to get out of here?"

"That is the reason I was brought here," said L. "How they brought me back from the dead is another matter."

"Probably simply for the purposes of confusing the audience," said Light.

"No, I have a feeling there's something more to it," said L.

"Well, whatever it is, it'll have to wait," said Light, turning towards the door. "For now, I have a challenge to win."

"Wait, you haven't beaten me yet," said L.

"Oh, right," said Light. He walked over to L, and pushed him over. "There we go. Come on Misa." The two of them left the room.

Finally, Zidane's story . . .

Zidane reached the top of the stairs and opened the door. As he thought, Dagger was in the room, facing away from him. "Dagger . . ." he said quietly.

"Not so fast," came a voice, followed by a giant sword crashing down beside him that Zidane only just avoided. Zidane turned to face his opponent. At first, all he saw was a giant black wing, and then . . .

"SEPHIROTH?!" he asked, dumbfounded. "Why are you here? I mean, we only met like once in the war of the gods, and even then you were fighting Cloud. I was expecting Kuja."

"Yeah, about Kuja," said Chris over the loudspeakers. "Turn around."

Zidane turned around, and stifled a scream. "KUJA?!" he said. He stood stunned for a moment before speaking again. "Why are you wearing Dagger's clothes?"

"Because we didn't think you'd come if you knew it was Kuja," said Chris.

"And don't I look fabulous?" asked Kuja, spinning on the spot.

"You know what? No," said Zidane. "No, I'm not saving Kuja."

"What?" demanded Sephiroth as Zidane left the room. "Hey, get back here."

"Oh, don't worry about him Sephy baby," said Kuja. "His loss. Come, we'll have some fun in here before they kick us out." Let's leave it at that, shall we?

Back on the ground floor, Light was the first one down, and was running flat out with Misa in tow. Katniss and Ash with their respective 'princesses' were down next, with Ash and Misty riding Donphan for more speed. Zidane, princess-less came down after them, and shot out the door. Bart dragging Lisa was the last one out.

Light ran as fast as he could with Misa, but Donphan was gaining fast. Luckily, with two people on its back it was slowed down significantly. The finish line was in sight, Light and Ash were neck-and-neck . . .

And then Misty fell. Luckily, Ash grabbed her before she hit the ground, but Donphan slowed down slightly so that he didn't trample her. Light, seeing the opportunity, darted forward, and crossed the finish line.

"We have a winner," said Chris as everyone else arrived. "Light has crossed the finish line first and will be immune from tonight's vote." He then took a look at the contestants, and smiled that evil smile he got sometimes. "Or at least he would, if there was going to be a vote tonight."

"What do you mean?" asked Bart, pushing Lisa to the ground.

"I'd have deducted points from you for that, if Zidane hadn't already been eliminated," said Chris.

"Say WHAT?!" asked Zidane.

"Anyone who did not complete the challenge would be instantly eliminated," said Chris. "I did mention that didn't I?"

"No, you didn't," said Zidane.

"Well, I'm mentioning it now," said Chris. "Goodbye, Zidane."

"Damn it Zidane," said Katniss. "You know what this means for us don't you?"

"Katniss, I swear I can change," said Zidane as Chef dragged him away.

"Not that you idiot," said Katniss. "It means the good guys and bad guys are even again."

"Oh, right," said Zidane as he was loaded into the cannon. "But we're still together right?" He never got an answer, because that's when Chef fired the cannon. He then turned to the remaining contestants.

"Now, where's the little punk who hit me with the tree branch?" demanded Chef, suddenly spotting Bart.

"Eep," he said, and started running away.

Chris just turned to the camera and ignored them while he delivered the outro. "What will Chef do to Bart when he catches him? What will Katniss do to Light if she ever gets him eliminated? And what else can I put these guys through? Find out the answers to these questions and more next time, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	23. The Safecracker's Guide to Skydiving

Episode 22: The Safecracker's Guide to Skydiving

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "The contestants had to fight their way to the top of a castle and rescue a princess. I think there will be an investigation into something Light did on the way to there, but whatever. The contestants made it to the castle and rescued their respective princesses. At least, most of them did. Zidane, very uncharacteristically, refused to complete the challenge, and was therefore eliminated, meaning that Light gained immunity for nothing." The camera cuts back to Chris on the dock. "Who will crack under pressure? Who will drop like a rock? And who will crash and burn? Hopefully all four of them, but find out the actual answers to these questions, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

The four contestants were sleeping soundly in their beds. Suddenly, dark shapes were looming over them, then blackness.

The group were then seen lying on the floor of the cargo area of a plane. Slowly, they all start waking up. "Wha? Where are we?" asked a drowsy Katniss.

"Welcome contestants, to this week's challenge," said Chris, walking up to them.

"That was fast," said Light. "Normally we have at least one scene of what we're planning before we start the challenge."

"We'll get to that later," said Chris.

"Wait a sec, I didn't go to sleep in my clothes," said Bart. "When did we get changed?"

"I think it'd be better not to ask," said Ash.

"If you're quite finished," said Chris. "You do have a challenge to complete, and it's right out this door." Chris proceeded to open the door of the cargo hold, revealing to the contestants that they were already fifty thousand feet in the air.

"Let me guess," yelled Katniss over the noise. "Skydiving?"

"Close," replied Chris. "You all get a parachute. It's whether you can get to it that you need to worry about."

"I don't like where this is going," said Ash.

"You see those safes in the back there?" asked Chris.

"I really don't like where this is going," said Ash.

"Your challenge today is to jump out of this plane with one of those safes," said Chris. "Inside is a lifesaving parachute. Crack the safe before you hit the ground, put on the parachute, and survive. Or not. Your choice, really. Because you could quite possibly die, we actually swapped this challenge with next week's, since we thought the whole 'plane' and 'people dying' thing would be in poor taste."

"And that's why I didn't like where this was going," said Ash.

"Okay Chris, seriously?" said Light. "I know Japan has some weird, dangerous stuff on its game shows, but all of them are non-lethal. What if one of us dies doing this?"

"Don't worry, we've set up a trampoline somewhere for you to land on," said Chris.

"I don't that's enough . . ." started Light

"Quiet. It's challenge time," said Chris. "Everyone grab a safe." Hesitantly but obediently, the contestants picked a safe. "Now, before you jump, I want to remind you all that you signed on for this . . ."

"When?" asked Bart.

". . . so we can't be sued if anything goes wrong," said Chris. "Okay, go." The contestants didn't move. Chris glared at them, before walking to a seat and strapping himself in. He then pulled out a walkie talkie. "Chef? They're not doing it." Suddenly, the plane tilted to the side, flinging the contestants out the door with their safes. "Thank you," said Chris. "By the way, did you set up the trampoline?"

"I thought you were doing it," said Chef.

"Whatever, I'm sure they'll be fine," said Chris.

The contestants hurtled through the air towards the ground, desperately trying to open their safes. Ash had one hand desperately clinging onto his safe, one hand grabbing at his belt. Finally, he grabbed one of his Pokéballs. "I choose you, Unfeazant," he called. Unfeazant popped out, saw his master falling rapidly, and immediately gripped him in his talons. "Thanks Unfeazant. Now I have more time to get my parachute," said Ash.

Meanwhile, Bart had his ear pressed to his safe, trying to hear the tumblers fall into place. "It's hopeless," he said aloud. "I can't hear anything with all this wind in my ears." Angrily, he punched the safe's door. Suddenly, the safe sprang open, revealing the parachute. "That works," he said, pulling it out.

Light was trying a different strategy: spreading his body to cover as much space as possible, reducing his speed. He even unbuttoned his shirt to form a kind of makeshift parachute. With his reduced speed, he managed to focus all his concentration on cracking the safe. He was making some progress when suddenly . . .

"BOOYAH!" came a yell from above, startling everyone. Looking up, the contestants saw Bart had opened his parachute.

"We have a winner," said Chris through the megaphone. "Now, we just need to find out if we have any more survivors."

Light ignored him and went back to trying to crack the safe. About a minute later, the final tumbler fell into place, and the door swung open. Light smiled as he grabbed out his parachute.

Meanwhile, Katniss was trying to hack through the door with her hunting knife. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried, the knife couldn't seem to make a dent. Frustrated, Katniss brought the knife onto the door with all her strength. The knife flew out of her hand, beyond Katniss's reach. Katniss looked down, and saw the ground fast approaching. She closed her eyes, preparing for the worst, when suddenly she almost stopped where she was. Opening her eyes, she saw a large bird holding her up.

"Good work Unfeazant," called Ash from above, parachute already deployed. "Katniss, Unfeazant can only slow your fall for so long. Get your parachute on quick."

"Thanks Ash," called Katniss. She quickly put her ear to the safe, and listened for the tumblers like the others had. Soon, she had deployed her own parachute like the others had.

"Great work guys," said Chris. "Now we have to wait for you guys to land, which may take a while because you deployed your parachutes so far up. While you finally do get down though, you can vote for tonight's elimination, which can be any of you except Bart."

"Any tips on getting down faster?" asked Katniss.

"Take off the parachute," said Chris, walking away.

About an hour later, after everyone had landed, Light and Bart were meeting in the boy's cabin. "Alright Bart, you're immune, and Katniss and Ash will vote for me. The only hope for me is for us to vote for the same person, and then I defeat them in the tie-breaker. So, tonight we vote for Katniss."

"Whoa man, why her?" asked Bart. "She's a chick. Ash is a dude. He'll be way more of a threat."

"Katniss is the leader," said Light. "True, Ash has a few dozen monsters at his disposal, but everything Katniss has done has been from her own skill. She doesn't need assistance. That's why she's the bigger threat."

"I don't know . . ." said Bart.

"Come on, have I steered you wrong so far?" asked Light.

"No, but you've steered almost everyone else wrong," said Bart.

"Exactly. I've been planning to keep you the whole time," said Light. "What do you say? Vote off Katniss?" Light held out his hand to Bart.

Bart stared at it a moment, then smiled. "Vote off Katniss," he said, shaking his hand.

**Confession Cam: Light**

"You were a worthy foe Miss Everdeen, but once again, brains beat brawn. I win."

Later, at the campfire ceremony . . .

"Campers," started Chris. "You guys are the final four. Congratulations on making it this far. Especially you Light, since you seem to be more despised than Heather, Courtney, Alejandro and Scott combined. But now, three of you shall be receiving a marshmallow, and proceeding to the final three, while the other is fired out of a cannon and never allowed to return. Ever. This elimination ceremony is a special one, because it's the last time I'll be handing out marshmallows. The winner of next week's challenge gets to pick who goes with them to the finale. But before we can do that, we need to do this one. Obviously, Bart has immunity, so he receives the first marshmallow." Chris threw a marshmallow to him, which landed on his lap. "Ash, Katniss, Light, two of you will receive a marshmallow. One of those two will be . . . Katniss." A marshmallow landed on Katniss's lap. Ash looked nervously at the camera, while Light, who had a smug smile at the start of the ceremony, realised something was wrong. "The final marshmallow of the night goes to . . ." The camera quickly cut between a nervous looking Ash, and a horrified looking Light. "Ash." The final marshmallow landed on Ash's lap.

Light looked at them all, stunned by what just happened. "What. The. *beep*?" he said. "Bart, I thought we agreed to vote off Katniss?"

"Yeah, but I voted for Ash anyway, since I was hoping you'd see sense and get rid of the bigger threat," said Bart. "Guess not."

"I told you why we needed to get rid of Katniss," said Light. "You know what? You have to give the money to someone. Let's see you give the money to dead competitors." Light pulled out the Death Note and started writing.

"Go ahead. It won't work," said Chris.

"Oh really? Why not?" said Light smugly.

"Because when we found out you were going to be eliminated, we got everyone to legally change their name, thereby making the names you know them by immune to the Death Note."

"But . . . you called them by their names when you gave them their marshmallows," said Light.

"Correction: I called them by their new nicknames," said Chris. "Sorry Light, but you lose."

"No. No, this isn't happening," said Light as he was dragged away by Chef. "This isn't over. I will have my revenge. Just you wait." Chef loaded him into the cannon, and he was soon fired over the horizon.

"Just think, he was so dignified until then," said Chris.

"Well, as dignified as one can be when they go on this show," said Chef.

"Yeah, you're right," said Chris. "Hey, has anyone got anything else they want to do in this episode? We barely even have eighteen hundred words in this chapter."

"I got nothing," said Bart.

"Me neither," said Ash.

"Can't we finish this season already?" asked Katniss.

"Fine, whatever," said Chris. "We're down to the final three contestants. Can Ash burn his way through the final two challenges? Is Bart better than the two besties? Or will Katniss catapult herself to the crown? Find out the answers to these questions, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	24. Insert Tug-o-War Pun Here

Episode 23: Insert Tug-o-War Pun Here

The scene opens on Chris, standing on the pier. "Last time on Total Drama All Stars." Flashbacks of the previous episode start playing. "The contestants were dragged straight from bed to the challenge, in which they were hurled from a plane holding a safe containing their parachute. Fun. The contestants all managed to hack their way into their safes and float safely back to earth, but the suspense of watching them almost die was as enthralling as always. The winner of the challenge was Bart, so Light figured that Ash and Katniss would try and vote him out, which he was right about. However, what he wasn't right about was Bart voting for Katniss with him. That's right people, Light has finally been eliminated. We were shocked too." The camera cuts back to Chris on the dock. "Who will pull out all the stops to win? Who will push their luck? And who will be dragged along the ground by a bulldozer? I'm especially looking forward to that last one, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."

_Intro song plays._

Ash and Katniss are talking to each other in the mess hall over breakfast. "A toast, to our victory," said Katniss, holding up a glass of what was meant to be orange juice.

"Cheers," said Ash, raising his own glass. "But we shouldn't be celebrating just yet. We still have to beat Bart in today's challenge."

"What are you worried about?" asked Katniss. "Between us, we have the skills required to win pretty much any challenge Chris can throw at us. If we work together, nothing can stop us."

"I just get this horrible feeling that Chris is going to do something to ruin that," said Bart.

"Ash, I swear to you, we can do this," said Katniss. "We just have to win this challenge, and we'll be in the finale together. I think I can handle losing to you. Not that I will."

"Well, you better bring your A-game to the finale, because I won't be taking it easy on you," said Ash.

"Campers, the challenge to determine the final two awaits you," said Chris over the loudspeakers. "Please proceed to the large wall near the amphitheatre."

A couple of minutes later . . .

"Well campers, good work on making it this far," said Chris. "But now, we need to remove one more of you before we can go to the finale. Any volunteers?" No-one spoke. "Didn't think that would work. So, that's why we have this challenge set up." Chris indicated towards a large wall behind him. Three ropes extended from the wall, though their other ends could not be seen. "There are three of you left, and three ropes here. Your challenge is . . ."

"To pick a rope and play tug-o-war with whatever nasty surprise you have waiting on the other side?" said Katniss.

"Yeah. That," said Chris. "All three of you will go at the same time. One of the ropes has an easy opponent, one has a tough opponent, and one has an impossible opponent."

"I think I can hear a motor running," said Bart.

"That may or may not be related to this," said Chris. "Now, each of you will pick a rope and pull. If only one of you wins, that person will get to pick who they go against in the finale. If two of you win, we go to a tie-breaker challenge."

"What if all three of us win?" asked Ash.

"Not gonna happen," said Chris. "Now, pick a rope and let's get going."

The three contestants moved over to the ropes and tried to decide which to pull. "Wait, what am I doing?" asked Ash. "I could just bring out . . ."

"No you can't," said Chris. "You're gonna do this, not your Pokémon."

"You haven't objected to me using them before," said Ash.

"I didn't care before," said Chris.

Bart, closer to the wall, seemed to be listening carefully to something. He then went to the leftmost rope on the wall. "This one's mine," he declared, grabbing it.

Ash and Katniss exchanged a glance. "Well," said Katniss, picking up the middle one. "I'll take this one, I guess."

"Hey, I can hear that motor too," said Ash. "And it's coming from the other side of the wall. In fact, I think it's coming from the other end of this rope." This last part he said while picking up the rope.

"Oh good, you've all picked a rope," said Chris. "Challenge begin."

"Wait, what?" said Ash, still holding the rope. He was suddenly jerked forward as a motor flared up, and crashed through the wall. He looked up to see the other end of the rope tied to a bulldozer. He then looked back in horror, to see his leg entangled by the rope. The bulldozer kept driving, and began dragging Ash along behind it.

Bart, on the other hand, gave one swift pull of his rope, and his opponent flew through the wall. His opponent was . . .

"A kitten?" asked Bart, holding the tiny creature in his arms.

"Yep, a kitten," said Chris. "In all its cuteness . . . wait, who tied the rope around its neck?" Chris checked it for some sign of life. "PETA are gonna be all over our asses about this."

Finally, Katniss began pulling her rope. She was met with some resistance, but she was able to hold her ground. Slowly, she felt herself slip forward, but with some effort, she pulled back, and soon she was moving back more rapidly. When she heard something smack against the wall, she knew she'd won.

"Congratulations Katniss," said Chris. "Come on back her to see who you beat."

Katniss followed Chris behind the wall to where her opponent was. "Yep, that'd be right," said Katniss, looking down at Chef.

"Damn girl, you're stronger than you look," said Chef.

"When you lead an uprising against an oppressive capital, you need to be," said Katniss.

"Okay, we have two winners," said Chris. "So, now we need to go to a tiebreaker."

"Why not just make those two the final two?" asked Chef.

"Because we already have a tiebreaker set up," said Chris.

"Just saying, you could save a lot of time . . ." started Chef.

"Shut up, you're ruining it," said Chris.

"What?" asked the contestants.

"Nothing," said Chris. "Let's go to the tiebreaker shall we?"

About three minutes later, Bart and Katniss were tied together by a rope around their wrists, standing at a start line. "Okay guys," said Chris. "The tiebreaker is as follows: you two are to run through the forest, tied together, and reach the finish line on the other side. However, you must play tug-o-war the whole time. You can use whatever dirty tricks you want to, but the winner is whichever one drags the loser across the finish line. Any questions?" No-one spoke. "Okay, go."

Katniss took off quickly, dragging Bart behind her. However, Bart managed to pull himself up and keep pace with her. "You're going down Everdeen," said Bart. "Once I get past you . . ."

"You might wanna turn then," said Katniss.

""What?" said Bart, right before Katniss guided him into a tree. She kept running and pulling him along, who was now only semi-conscious.

"Heh heh, this is gonna be easy," said Katniss, turning sharply so Bart crashed into another tree.

Bart shook his head to focus himself, then pulled hard on the rope. Katniss lost her footing and tumbled over him while he got up and started running. "Yeah, easy. For me," said Bart, taking the lead.

Katniss got back up quickly, and held herself at the furthest point from Bart she could. She then ran straight at a skinny tree, aiming so the two of them ran either side of it. The two of them ran past the tree, but the rope between them did not. The two of them were swung into each other, with Katniss bowling Bart over because she was much bigger than him.

Katniss got up and started dragging Bart behind her, searching for an exit to the woods, when she felt something hit the back of her head. She turned around to see Bart had loaded his slingshot, and fired a rock straight into her eye. Katniss, blinded, fell over backwards, with Bart rolling over her and then started running.

He didn't get far before Katniss yanked hard at the rope, pulling him to the ground. She got back up, and took off again, stepping on Bart's stomach as she went. Katniss ran on, with Bart tugging at the rope. He managed to pull himself to his feet, before throwing himself at Katniss's back. He scrambled up and covered her eyes. "GUESS WHO?!" he yelled as loud he as he could her ear.

"Get off, I can't see," said Katniss, trying to grab him off her.

"That's the point," said Bart, guiding her straight into a tree. Before impact, he jumped off, then started running again.

Once again though, Katniss got back up, and she was not happy. Using all her strength, she swung Bart around, straight into another tree. Mid-swing, she noticed something. She turned her attention to it, and saw it was the finish line. "Okay, now stay down," she growled, before setting off straight for the line.

Katniss sprinted hard, not stopping for anything. Bart dangled behind her, barely conscious. "We have a winner," said Chris as Katniss reached the line. Just then though, Bart pulled one last trick. He pulled as hard as he could on the rope, tripping Katniss over. She was on one side of the line, he was on the other. Pulling hard, Bart dragged Katniss back across the line to his side. "Whoa, and in a surprise twist ending, Bart has won the challenge."

"WHAT?!" demanded Katniss. "He didn't drag me across the line. In fact, I pretty much did it to him."

"Number one, 'pretty much' just means 'didn't do it'," said Chris. "Number two, I said you needed to drag your opponent across the line. I never said which way across the line you needed to drag them."

Katniss opened her mouth to object, but she couldn't. It was over. Bart had won the challenge, even if it wasn't fair and square to her.

"Wait, so Bart will be in the finale," said Ash.

"That's right," said Chris. "And so will one of you. Whichever one of you Bart wants to face off against in the finale gets a chance at the one million dollars. The other will be eliminated, and blasted out of the cannon, and won't be coming back. So Bart, who's it gonna be?"

"Are you kidding?" asked Bart. "Girls are easy to beat. I choose Katniss."

"What do you mean, easy to beat?" asked Katniss. "I just beat the living crap out of you."

"And you still didn't win the challenge," said Bart. "Chris, you may as well give me the money now."

"Sorry, you still have to compete," said Chris. "But now we know this: the finale for Total Drama All Stars will be between Bart Simpson and Katniss Everdeen."

"So does that mean . . ." started Ash.

"Yeah, you're getting fired out of a cannon," said Chris as Chef dragged him to the cannon.

"Katniss, I believe in you," said Ash. "You can beat Bart. If anyone can do it, it's you." Chef fired the cannon, and Ash went flying. He crashed back down into the water, but soon resurfaced, on the back of a big blue monster. "Oh, hey Lapras," said Ash. "Long time no see. Would you mind giving me a lift back to land?" Lapras made a noise of agreement, and the two sailed off into the sunset.

"Aww, isn't that sweet?" said Chris. "But sweet has nothing to do with what's coming. We have our final two: Bart and Katniss. Who will take the million dollars? Who will fall at the last moment? And what will we do once the season is over? Find out the answers to all these questions, right here, on Total Drama All Stars."


	25. Total Drama All Stars Aftermath Part IV

Episode 24: Total Drama All Stars Aftermath Part IV

_Aftermath intro plays, with scenes featuring the eliminated contestants sliced in._

**Kim**

"You're a lying, cheating, *beep*. You are so going down at tonight's vote."

**Marty**

"Vague allusions? Uh oh, we're in trouble."

**Zidane**

"You know what? No. No, I'm not saving Kuja."

**Light**

"You were a worthy foe Miss Everdeen, but once again, brains beat brawn. I win."

**Ash**

"Hey, I can hear that motor too. And it's coming from the other side of the wall. In fact, I think it's coming from the other end of this rope."

_Intro finishes, and cuts to a stage with Geoff and Bridgette. The crowd is booing them._

"Whoa, dudes, what's with all the negativity this time?" asked Geoff.

"I think they were expecting the finale this week," said Bridgette. "And now they realise they have to wait another week to find out who will win."

"Think about it this way guys: this builds the suspense even more," said Geoff. "In the meantime, you get another action packed episode of Total Drama All Stars Aftermath, our final episode for this season in fact."

"Wait, just for this season?" asked Bridgette. "So we're coming back next season?"

"Yep, you'll be seeing more of us in season two," said Geoff. "But before we worry about THAT season, we have to finish off THIS season. Tonight, you'll get to see interviews with the five eliminated contestants, as well as That's Gonna Leave a Mark, some never before seen footage, and whatever horrible creature I've organised this week to make our contestants tell the truth."

"But first, we need to introduce our Peanut Gallery," said Bridgette. "Which this week consists of all the contestants we haven't had on this show yet. So, tonight we have B." B drove out on a motor scooter, before taking his seat.

"DJ," said Geoff. DJ came out with a basket full of brownies, which he threw to the audience.

"The recently captured Ezekiel," said Bridgette. An intern wheeled out a trolley with Ezekiel bound and gagged, tied down by chains.

"Gwen," said Geoff. Gwen walked out onstage waving to the audience before taking her seat.

"Leshawna," said Bridgette. Leshawna came out onstage, doing a few terrible dance moves on the way.

"Noah," said Geoff. Noah walked out onstage, hardly enthusiastic about it.

"Scott," said Bridgette. Scott came out, still in the trauma chair.

"Sierra," said Geoff. Sierra walked out, and as she sat down pulled out a laptop and started typing something.

"And finally, Zoey," said Bridgette. Zoey walked out, with war paint on her face. "Zoey, any particular reason for that face paint?"

"It makes me look fierce," said Zoey. "And I don't care if that's alright with anyone."

"Umm, okay?" said Geoff. "So guys, what have you thought of the season so far?"

"Haven't seen a single episode," said Noah. "Frankly, I've been avoiding anything to do with the show since the end of World Tour."

"Well, I've seen every episode like ten times," said Sierra. "And honestly, it's obvious to anyone who knows Total Drama how this is gonna end. Honestly, why else would it be getting posted on two different websites?"

"Readers, please disregard that comment," said Bridgette. "We need to bring out our first guest."

"Right on," said Geoff. "A main player in Katniss's powerhouse team, he was eliminated for doing the one thing everyone thought he would do: rescue a princess."

"In his defence, it did turn out to be a dude," said Bridgette. "Ladies, hang on to your bras, our first guest is Zidane." Zidane walked out onstage, waved to the crowd, and sat down. He then produced a bra from behind his back. Bridgette looked alarmed, then checked herself. "How did you get that?" she demanded. "We haven't even made physical contact."

"Next time, take your own advice," said Zidane.

"That doesn't make any sense," said Bridgette.

"Neither does half the other stuff in this series," said Zidane.

"So Zidane, fifth place," said Geoff. "How does it feel to get so close, but so far?"

"It sucks," said Zidane. "I didn't know refusing to do the challenge would get me eliminated, and I only just missed out on beating Light. But at least he's gone too."

"How do you think Katniss will do in the finale?" asked Bridgette.

"She'll win, no problem," said Zidane.

"No problem, eh?" asked Geoff. "Would you like to say that in our segment, Truth or Fang?"

_An animation plays with the words Truth or Fang, which then gets eaten by Fang._

Fang walked out onstage, and flashed his teeth at Scott. Scott's chair started beeping rapidly, and he wheeled himself offstage as fast as he could.

"Oh, that's right, Fang's the one who put him in there," said Geoff. "Well, Zidane, be honest, Katniss will win with absolutely no problems, right?"

"Exactly," said Zidane. Suddenly, Fang lunged at him. "Well, okay, Bart's crafty and capable, but Katniss is strong, smart, and adaptable. Plus she's killed a bunch of people. How could she not win?" Fang relaxed his attack at this.

"There, isn't it much better telling the truth?" said Geoff. "Speaking of which, you'll have some explaining to do to your call from home."

"Wait, you don't mean . . ." said Zidane as the TV lowered itself from the roof. When it connected, Garnet's face appeared, and she did not look happy.

"Zidane, what the hell is this?" she demanded.

"Dagger, baby, I can explain," said Zidane.

"Oh, this'll be good," she said.

"Dagger, believe me, I never thought you'd find out," said Zidane.

A long silence followed. "Is that it?" she said, sounding so calm, it was worrying. "When you get back here, Eiko and I will summon the full wrath of Alexander on you." The TV disconnected and went back into the roof.

"Yikes, that's normally reserved for preventing the destruction of the city," said Zidane.

At this point, Ezekiel managed to gnaw his way out of his gag, though he was still tied down. "This is bogus, eh," he said. "I need that money more than them."

"Dude, your last bank statement shows you have sixteen digits in there," said Geoff. "Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-gr eat-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grea t-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren are set for life."

"But, but, I want it," said Ezekiel. It was then that he lifted his beanie slightly, and some hair fell out.

"Hey Zeke, you okay man," asked DJ.

"I'm fine, why?" asked Ezekiel, his skin slightly greener than normal.

"Uh, no reason," said DJ.

"Okay, we need to move on to our second guest," said Geoff. "Due to our method of getting him here, we only have three sec . . ." At this point, the DeLorean appeared onstage at exactly that moment. Marty and the Doc opened the doors to see the crowd before them.

"Damn it, how does this keep happening?" asked the Doc.

"You keep not paying attention to our producer when he screws around with the time machine," said Geoff. "Now, security?" Two large security guards dragged the protesting doctor away.

"I suppose I have to rescue him again, don't I?" said Zidane, getting up and following them offstage.

"So, Marty," said Bridgette. "You were one of Light's main supporters . . ."

"I guess so," said Marty.

"What do you mean, you guess?" said Geoff. "You outright helped him almost all season."

"I wouldn't say I helped him that much," said Marty. "I mean, I helped him vote people off and stuff, but other than that I only really helped him because I thought he'd win. When I was sure he didn't need me anymore, I was going to try and turn the others on him."

There was a loud gasp from the audience. "Wait, so you weren't as evil as people thought?" asked Bridgette.

"Evil? No, I was just looking out for myself," said Marty. "And if the Doc didn't show up when he did, I reckon I would have made it too."

"Geoff, do you think he's serious?" asked Bridgette.

"He must be. Fang's not Scottifying him," said Geoff. "Well Marty, let's go to your call from home." The TV descended from the roof again, and Jennifer's face appeared on the screen. Though something was off about her . . .

"Marty?" she asked. "What is this? Why do you look like a teenager?"

"Never mind that," said Marty. "Why do you look like a forty-something year old?"

"I am a forty-something year old," she snapped back at him.

"Oh, wait a second," said Marty. "That's present day you, while I'm still 1985 me."

"Jennifer, what's going on in there," called someone. A second later, future (I mean, present day . . . or something) Marty came in. "Who are you talking to?" He looked over at the camera and saw himself on the couch. "Wait, this is . . ." His eyes widened, then collapsed where he was.

"Huh. I'd have thought he'd remember this happening, therefore should be prepared for this," said Geoff as the TV disconnected. "Well, it can't be helped. Shall we move on to That's Gonna Leave a Mark?"

"Sounds good to me," said Bridgette as the TV started showing clips.

The first part showed Katniss swimming towards the shore, when Ash fired at the spot C4. A large wave washed over her, carrying her to shore and leaving her upside down in the sand.

Chris and Chef had just poured the tabasco down Bart's throat, causing Bart to spout flames. The camera then shows an intern who had been standing in the way turn to dust.

The next clip showed Milhouse getting pushed down the stairs by Bart. Shortly after he landed, he was trampled by Ash on his Donphan.

Light was parachuting to the ground. It looked like he was about to land on the trampoline, but then a gust of wind blew him into the side of the communal washroom. He then fell through the roof of the septic tank.

And finally, the footage showed Ash being dragged by the bulldozer, over rocks, trees, uneven ground, and just about every other unpleasant thing you can imagine.

"Oh man, that has to have hurt," said Geoff.

"Not as much as our next guest's pride after she was booted," said Bridgette. "The only contestant Light screwed with more than Katniss, please welcome Kim." Kim walked onstage and sat down. "So Kim, how are you?"

"I'm fine," said Kim. "You know, other than the whole missing out on the money because of Light thing."

"What did you expect was going to happen?" asked Noah.

"I . . . it's just that . . . he was really hot," said Kim.

"That boy Alejerkdroed you," said Leshawna.

"Yeah, he truly did," said Kim.

"You know I can hear you right?" said Light from just offstage.

"Shut up Light," said Kim, taking off her shoe and throwing it at him. It struck him right between the eyes.

"Nice shot," said Geoff. "But Kim, seriously, why did you fall for him like that? I think he even admitted he was the bad guy a couple of times."

"Can we please stop talking about that?" asked Kim. "I'm already angry at myself for what happened. I just want to put it behind me and forget about it."

"Okay, fine," said Geoff, looking at his notes. "Huh, apparently all my questions were related to the Light incident. Bridge?"

"Mine too," said Bridgette. "Let's move on to your call from home." They turned their attention to the TV, which was still playing footage of Ash being dragged along by a bulldozer. "What the? Has that been playing the whole time?"

"Apparently," said Geoff. "Man, he went through a lot." The footage cut out, and then Ron's head appeared onscreen.

"Yo, Kim, what's up?" asked Ron.

"Hey Ron, what's up?" asked Kim.

"Amazingly, not much," said Ron. "Draken, the Seniors, Monkey Fist, they've all been really quiet. Unlike the Kimunicator." Ron lifted the Kimunicator up, which was beeping.

"Ron, how long has it been doing that?" asked Kim.

"It started almost the second you left," said Ron.

Kim sighed. "That's probably Wade trying to tell you something bad has happened," she said.

"Oh . . . that would explain why we're being conquered," said Ron, stepping back to reveal a window, where scenes of destruction could be seen.

"Okay, get out there and cause a distraction," said Kim. "I'll be back as soon as possible."

"Wait, Kim, one more thing," said Ron. "What's up with you and Light?"

"Goodbye Ron," said Kim, and had left before the TV had even risen to the roof.

"How's she gonna get home that quick?" asked Geoff.

"Apparently she has helped a lot of people in the past," said Gwen. "One of them will probably give her a lift."

Suddenly, there was a loud tearing noise. Everyone turned to see Ezekiel had broken free of his chains, and was slobbering on the floor like an animal. He made growling sounds from his throat as he ran backstage. Scott then returned to the stage still beeping, before noticing that Fang was still there and going out into the audience.

"Okay, that was weird," said Bridgette. "Didn't Ezekiel get his monsterism taken care of?"

"Yeah, that is weird," said Geoff. "Hold on, wait . . . our producer says they have some footage that might explain everything."

"Will we be able to fit it into the show?" asked Bridgette.

"Yeah, we'll just replace the never before seen footage of the final challenge with this," said Geoff. "When they find it, that is."

"Well, let's give them some time to find it by moving on to our next guest," said Bridgette. "The most recent elimination from the show, and currently holds the world record for longest distance being dragged by a bulldozer. Please welcome Ash." Ash walked out and sat down.

"Well Ash, how's it feel to be the bronze medallist?" asked Geoff.

"It's horrible," said Ash. "Katniss is competing in the finale against Bart. I'm sure she can win, but what if she doesn't? At least she could have tolerated losing to me."

"I really have to ask about those animals you keep stored in those tiny balls," said Bridgette. "The Pokémon I mean, not . . . never mind."

"What about them?" asked Ash.

"Surely that can't be comfortable for them," said Bridgette.

"They've never complained," said Ash.

"They can't complain, they can only say their name at best," said Bridgette.

"They haven't turned on me for doing it," said Ash.

"Actually, we have this footage of your Charizard . . ." started Bridgette.

"There's no time for that now," said Geoff. "We need to move on to Ash's call from home." The TV descended from the roof again, and Professor Oak appeared on the screen.

"Hello Ash," said Oak.

"Hey Professor," said Ash. "Thanks again for the quick transfer device. I really needed just about all my Pokémon at some point."

"No problem Ash," said Oak. "I'm sure you brought it up plenty of times throughout the show."

"Ahhhh . . ." started Ash.

"You didn't?" said Oak. "Oh well, as long as you caught a few new Pokémon for me to study."

"Ahhhh . . ." started Ash.

"You didn't do that either?" said Oak. "What the hell have you been doing all this time?"

"Ahhhh . . ." started Ash. "Quick, hang up." The screen cut out and went back into the roof.

"Well, with that done, let's go on to our never before seen footage," said Bridgette.

"As you guys just saw, Ezekiel's gone feral . . . again," said Geoff. "But we have the footage that tells us why. Let's have a look." The TV screen dropped down from the roof again (why they didn't just leave it there is a mystery).

The footage starts just after Ezekiel was fired from the cannon. He was flying through the air towards a ship settled out at sea. "How long do we need to keep this stuff here?" asked one of the sailors on the ship.

"Until that McLean guy tells us we can come back," said the captain. "He's paying good money to keep the island radiation free until this season ends. Then we go back, dump the stuff, and he continues getting funding from several nuclear power plants so the island can be their dumping ground."

Just then, Ezekiel crashed onto the ship, landing in a vat of nuclear runoff. The footage cut off there.

"That's it?" said Ash.

"Yeah, that's it," said Geoff.

"And you couldn't just tell us that's what happened?" said Marty.

"It's much more entertaining to watch someone get hurt," said Geoff. "Especially when it's Ezekiel."

"Yeah, I guess," said Marty.

"I got him," said Zidane, coming out with the Doc.

"Alright Marty, time to go home," said the Doc, dragging him back into the DeLorean. The car drove offstage, and disappeared, leaving a trail of flames in its wake.

"Did the producer screw with it again?" asked Bridgette.

"Yep," said Geoff.

"Alright, we can't put it off any longer," said Bridgette. "Time for the final guest of the night, the one that has gotten the most feedback in this fanfic and was strategically put at the end of this episode so you'd read the whole thing, please welcome Light." Light came onstage to the sound of tons of booing. He simply smiled and waved as he took a seat.

"Light, you are quite possibly the most hated contestant in Total Drama history," said Geoff. "What do you think of that title?"

"Well, that's a little harsh," said Light pleasantly. "I mean, only some of those contestants were intentional."

"So you're finally admitting that you did get rid of some people on purpose?" asked Bridgette.

"Not really any point denying it now," said Light. "Kim was clearly my doing, as was Wallace." A silence followed this statement.

"Wait, so you maintain that those are the only contestants you deliberately got rid of?" asked Geoff.

"Well, technically Hit-Girl too, but most of the team voted for her anyway, so that was more of a shared elimination," said Light.

"You're unbelievable," sighed Bridgette. "Let's see who's on the line for your call from home." The TV dropped down from the roof to reveal Light's father on the screen.

"Father," said Light, bowing in respect.

"Light," said his father. "Or should I say, Kira."

"Oh, come on dad, this thing is hardly canon to our own series," said Light.

"For the love of God, stop breaking the fourth wall," said Geoff.

"In any case, Light, you will be arrested upon your capture," said Light's father.

""Oh really? And when will that be?" asked Light.

Light's father checked his watch. "Three . . . two . . . one . . ." The back of the stage suddenly exploded, and a bunch of guys with riot gear burst in, grabbing Light and dragging him out, kicking and screaming.

"Well, that was unexpected," said Bridgette. "And we're nearly out of time. B, any final thoughts?"

B opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly . . .

"Nope, outta time," said Geoff "Who will win next week's big finale? What will their challenge be? And what have we got in store for season two?"

"Find out the answers to the first two next week, and the other one the week after, right here, on Total Drama All Stars," said Bridgette.


End file.
